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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To think holding a vigil outside Marie Stopes is wrong? and to wish there was something I could do (may be upsetting)

999 replies

Menolly · 03/04/2014 00:08

The local Catholic church is planning another vigil next week outside Marie Stopes, I am Catholic although attend a different parish (because I disagree with this ones overly judgmental congregation and uncaring priest). I think it is a horrible thing to be doing, I can see the clinic from my flat and at the last one they blocked the pavement meaning that people had to ask them to move to get through, whether they were going to the clinic or up the road (which leads to the high street, train stations, bus stops etc.).

They do move out the way when asked and they are peaceful whilst there, just singing and praying the rosary, however if I was a teenage girl going in for advice or was in some terrible situation where I needed their services I'm not sure I'd be brave enough to push my way through. Ignoring the fact that the clinic also does STD testing, contraceptive advice, smear tests etc, an abortion isn't an easy thing to go through whatever the circumstances and I think adding to that stress is a terrible thing to do, then considering that these people don't know that the woman they are upsetting aren't going there because they've been raped or because of some other horrible circumstance it makes me really angry.

My eldest child was conceived through rape when I was just 15, I kept him and he's beautiful and I have never regretted that decision but I had a lot of family support that other women might not have and there was a time when I did look at my options and having a bunch of judgmental people singing outside whilst I was trying to get advice would have made things much harder for me at a time when I seriously considered suicide, I hated myself for letting that happen to me and felt guilty for all the stress it put on my parents, I felt I was being judged constantly and lost my own faith for a long time because I couldn't stand the thought that God would let that happen or the guilt and judging associated with church and I hate the idea that people would do something so insensitive and could push someone to making the wrong decision or feeling even worse.

I find the vigils upsetting and I could hear them singing from my living room last time, what I went through was nearly 10 years ago now, I can't imagine how much worse it would be for someone who had been through something more recently or had less support.

I just wish there was something I could do to make these people, who I am sure think they are doing a good thing, see how harmful their vigil could be, but so far I can't think of any way of doing that...

So AIBU to think they shouldn't being doing this? Also if anyone can think of a peaceful way of showing my disgust I'd be grateful.

OP posts:
JapaneseMargaret · 06/04/2014 11:03

Have the courage of your convictions, bumbley. If you're so sure you're right, then just come out and say, 'yes, she should be forced to give birth'.

What's the problem, exactly?

AfricanExport · 06/04/2014 11:03

So Bumble, as a pregnant woman am I allowed to opt fir voluntary euthanasia?

To tell you the truth I think for some woman that would be the option you would be leaving them. You are seriously odd in your views!!

twofingerstoGideon · 06/04/2014 11:03

Two, "I know you guys love yes and no answers but I prefer an explanation. Yes or no would just result in more questions and requests for explanations anyway."

You have my answer.

So you can't actually commit to saying 'yes, I think women like Baby should be made to carry their baby to term.'

What a cop-out.

bumbleymummy · 06/04/2014 11:04

Sabrina, that question has been answered a few times on this page now. I'm sure you can find it.

"it's that baby should be spared 12 weeks additional suffering and agony, "

So you do believe that the foetus is capable of feeling pain then?

Thebody, at a certain point the woman is going to have to give birth regardless of whether or not she has terminated the foetus beforehand.

Also, I see you feel quite passionate about circumcision. I take it you would be ok with it if there was a way to perform it before the baby was born? It wouldn't be considered mutilation then? Interesting.

twofingerstoGideon · 06/04/2014 11:04

So much for the courage of one's convictions, eh?

confuddledDOTcom · 06/04/2014 11:05

I can kind of understand (but don't agree) saying that a child that will have disabilities shouldn't be aborted, but I can't understand the logic of a child that has disabilities that will cause it's death when separated from the mother should be carried.

bumbleymummy · 06/04/2014 11:05

Sabrina, I haven't said anything about the bible. I think some of you need to move away from the whole pro-life = religious extremist generalisation.

bumbleymummy · 06/04/2014 11:06

Japanese. She's going to have to give birth anyway.

bumbleymummy · 06/04/2014 11:06

Ie she's not 'being forced' to give birth

twofingerstoGideon · 06/04/2014 11:06

"it's that baby should be spared 12 weeks additional suffering and agony, "

So you do believe that the foetus is capable of feeling pain then?

Baby is the name of the poster above, who is in this predicament. Not 'the baby, ie. fetus'

Was that deliberate, Bumbley?

twofingerstoGideon · 06/04/2014 11:08

She's going to have to give birth anyway.

How utterly heartless.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 06/04/2014 11:08

But it is religious extremism, bumbley. The protesters in the OP are the Helpers of God's Precious Infants.

Dawndonnaagain · 06/04/2014 11:09

Dawn, I know you don't want to agree with me but you basically have. 'Pro-choice' is not an accurate way to describe someone who places conditions on when someone can have an abortion (which is what the majority of people do - 24 weeks being the most common condition)
No I haven't. What on earth is wrong with you.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 06/04/2014 11:10

twofingerstoGideon Sun 06-Apr-14 11:08:29
She's going to have to give birth anyway.

How utterly heartless.

Yes - heartless. SO, bumbley - do you ever ask yourself how you got to be so inhumane and lacking in empathy to your fellow women? Is it rooted in patriarchal religion do you think?

bumbleymummy · 06/04/2014 11:10

African, why do you think that is odd? Voluntary euthanasia - choosing to terminate your own life. Abortion - terminating another life.

Two fingers, because I'm not using the words you want me to use? Hmm

bumbleymummy · 06/04/2014 11:12

"How utterly heartless "

Just bypass the "Ie she's not 'being forced' to give birth"

How do you think the baby is going to be delivered at this point?

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 06/04/2014 11:13

It will be a lot easier on the mental and physical health on the woman to have a termination now (that she wants ) than to go through labour in three month's time.

bumbleymummy · 06/04/2014 11:13

I think it's 'utterly heartless' to think its ok to believe in unconditional access to abortion to term. Pretty horrific and barbaric in fact (and plenty of 'pro-choicers) would agree with me on that.

bumbleymummy · 06/04/2014 11:14

Sabrina, these ones, maybe. Not all of them.

AfricanExport · 06/04/2014 11:15

As usual you have talked around the question and not answered the question.

If I'm pregnant then I'm terminating 2 lives. Can I opt for voluntary euthanasia? It's a simple question?

I don't think you understand the desperation of some woman and their predicament.

bumbleymummy · 06/04/2014 11:15

Dawn, I'm wondering the same thing about you.

twofingerstoGideon · 06/04/2014 11:16

Two fingers, because I'm not using the words you want me to use?
What's this in response to?

MoominIsEightNinthsManatee · 06/04/2014 11:16

I think it's horrific and barbaric to stand outside an abortion clinic, waving placards and shouting at people going in there for medical advice and procedures.

I think it's horrific and barbaric for one group of people to assume they can dictate what women should do with their bodies.

There's a lot of things we can find horrific and barbaric about this, really.

Dawndonnaagain · 06/04/2014 11:17

Also, I see you feel quite passionate about circumcision. I take it you would be ok with it if there was a way to perform it before the baby was born? It wouldn't be considered mutilation then? Interesting.
strawman
Misrepresenting someone's argument to make it easier to attack.

Dawndonnaagain · 06/04/2014 11:17

try this Bumbley

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