AIBU to not want to see grown adults defecate in the park?

[ResponsibleAdult]

This evening. Lovely mild, light, spring evening, decide to go for a gentle stroll in the park with DD and dogs. See charming young couple walking hand in hand in front of us, no small children, no special needs, no mobility issues. "Ah, loves young dream" I think.

Shortly, the couple separate and walk slowly in different directions. "Ah, going to pose for a softly backlit photo to show their romance blossoming" I think.

Couple remain, separated but squatting in bushes. "Ah a simple game of hide and seek to show spontaneous nature of loves young dream" I naively think .

On approaching, as walking the dogs, I am able to see she has her trousers down and is weeing/pooing in the bushes. Turn back to see squatting shatting boyfriend is now standing and weeing against a tree.

I got the rage.

Me loudest voice with tone of righteous indignation "EXCUSE ME? EXCUSE ME? There is a public toilet 100metres over there" I was ignored, and given a shrug of the shoulders by little Miss Holly Golightly.

So I repeat, my volume rising "EXCUSE ME? There is a public toilet, that is OPEN just over there. I suggest you go and use it as I DONT WANT TO SEE YOUR BARE ARSE!". Point at Golum boy, and repeat same phrase.

Loves young dream ( Golum boy and Golightly) pull up their trousers and shuffle off, muttering "alright! alright" under their breath. Was it a dare, a FB craze, a bizarre fetish, extreme sport dogging???? I don't care.

DD gives me a , I give her a , we carry on our walk.

AIBU???

There was a huge poo by the slide in our park this morning, fenced off from dogs. I assumed fox and am now beginning to wonder...

WTAF!!!

I can well believe this is true. How revolting!!!

Indulge your bizarre sexual fantasies with abandon, but surely not in public places?!?? Couldn't they poo on the kitchen floor or something in their house if they thought the toilet was too ordinary?? Or in their garden? Or are they worried the neighbours would see them!?

DO NOT GOOGLE!!

I like to read while I poo.

I thought scat was something to do with jazz singing

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scat_singing

this goes against all natural instincts, surely. Even dogs don't like to poo where they sleep because they don't like their poo! Have people who are into this had some kind of unfortunate experience in childhood, because surely it's not a natural thing?

Well I Googled it... I know, I know... stupid. I really wish I hadn't done it. It's made me feel sick. But I did find one possible explanation:

"When I was young, I hated bowel movements. It felt gross and stuff. After discovering masturbation, I eased bowel movements with masturbation so it felt good and bowel movements weren't so gross. I don't know how it happened but the two finally caught up to each other and I became accustomed to the smell when I would masturbate."

Sigmund Freud would have had an absolute field day with all this shit!

My best friend is into scat. I didn't know this, and wish I still didn't. She chose to tell me one day in a crowded, noisy pub. I think she thought the noise would mean no one else heard. Unfortunately she chose the exact moment that the music stopped & a man stepped into the little stage next to us to introduce a band.
So, in the space of about 4 seconds, the jukebox is turned off, my friend leans towards me & opens her mouth to say something, man steps on stage, crowd goes quiet.. And 1 second later my mate bellows "I like to lie in the bath & let Andy shit & piss on me"
So now about 100 people know that lovely little fact.
And I can never look at her or her husband in the same way.
I'll have to ask her if she likes shitting in parks.

"I like to lie in the bath & let Andy shit & piss on me"

Good grief. And to think people get upset at the thought of anyone weeing in the shower.

I'm never having a bath at their house, I can tell you that!

Very absurd - something must be seriously wrong with them. Surely?

Did you name change especially for that story, Germgirl?

Lordy, Germgirl.

That puts the pissing in the shower debate into perspective

I'm always germgirl. I'm a microbiologist. Maybe my friend thought she could tell me because I'm used to poo. Well yes, I am, but poo in little pots, not all over my best mate!! I still squeal & rush to the sink if I get a bit of poo on my hand at work!
It was her husband I felt most sorry for. He just say there looking sheepish. I'm not sure he shares her liking for all things pooey.

The more threads I read on MN the more I learn. not sure that is a good thing

What Andy was there?! It wasn't a reccy to see if you'd be into it was it germgirl?!

Andy was there. Looking sheepish. Although that's his default face anyway. But he looked even more haunted than usual.
No. Definitely not an enquiry about whether I'd like to join in. At least I bloody hope not.

I have clearly led a very sheltered life.

Maybe they are confused by dogging...

They may have dragged their arses along the grass to wipe.

OMG maybe they're into swinging too germgirl.

why do people feel the need to share this sort of stuff - what DH and I do together is PRIVATE!

Hope they were carrying handgel

I love how "AIBU to not want to see grown adults defecate in the park?" is even a question, as if there was a slight chance that Mumsnet might unanimously agree that they all do it all the time and OP is weird.

I believe you OP

I had a flatmate who was into scat, without a glass topped coffee table!

He had a friend for whom he would save things up for up to 3 weeks, and then dash across London. Not sure if the deed happened in a park although it did involve a face rather than a chest .

Those were the only times they saw each other.

He even showed me the childlike drawing of some of the events!

I was glad he waited until the day I moved out to reveal all this, we kind of drifted apart after I left!

I thought copraphilia was what rabbits do, involving ... um ... double digestion?

Three weeks Bewitched?

Sweet Jesus. It must have been like pulling the pin on a shit grenade.