AIBU to not want to see grown adults defecate in the park?

[ResponsibleAdult]

This evening. Lovely mild, light, spring evening, decide to go for a gentle stroll in the park with DD and dogs. See charming young couple walking hand in hand in front of us, no small children, no special needs, no mobility issues. "Ah, loves young dream" I think.

Shortly, the couple separate and walk slowly in different directions. "Ah, going to pose for a softly backlit photo to show their romance blossoming" I think.

Couple remain, separated but squatting in bushes. "Ah a simple game of hide and seek to show spontaneous nature of loves young dream" I naively think .

On approaching, as walking the dogs, I am able to see she has her trousers down and is weeing/pooing in the bushes. Turn back to see squatting shatting boyfriend is now standing and weeing against a tree.

I got the rage.

Me loudest voice with tone of righteous indignation "EXCUSE ME? EXCUSE ME? There is a public toilet 100metres over there" I was ignored, and given a shrug of the shoulders by little Miss Holly Golightly.

So I repeat, my volume rising "EXCUSE ME? There is a public toilet, that is OPEN just over there. I suggest you go and use it as I DONT WANT TO SEE YOUR BARE ARSE!". Point at Golum boy, and repeat same phrase.

Loves young dream ( Golum boy and Golightly) pull up their trousers and shuffle off, muttering "alright! alright" under their breath. Was it a dare, a FB craze, a bizarre fetish, extreme sport dogging???? I don't care.

DD gives me a , I give her a , we carry on our walk.

AIBU???

But but but... Was the plan to touch each others' bits before they washed their hands???? Because you can get a nasty infection from doing that, can't you?

I'm with odaat dirty feckers could have at least wiped.

And also, I can never unknow this. Urgh.

or were they going to go home for a rampant shag having not even wiped their arses??

Do they just poo then move on, or do they poo then dtd?

Space docking must surely cause infections

Will the next sexual thrill be eating each others bogeys?

The whole point of it is that it is dirty - they're not too fussed about cleanliness while wanking each other while shiting and while the also finger it out of each other's arsehole

My work here is done now I've given you that image

Of course YANBU. If you'd got your phone out you'd have scared them off pretty quickly

WTF?????

My work here is done now I've given you that image

Now too scared to go to sleep tonight in case I have a nightmare about that.

Obvious Troll!

It was truly grim. I was watching "What's the grimmest thing you've seen?" thread this week. All about people crapping in public places, standing still in public places, slight gurn,of the face, shake trouser leg and turd falls out.

Naively thought " ooh, never seen anything like that, how revolting".

Today, I saw it, in Richmond Park, not any old park Marks and Spencer type park, only more historical .

The mind boggles!

The OP is not a troll, has posted many many times pixiepotter

Troll? Me. God absolutely not, quite flattered actually as never been that interesting on previous posts. I am not doing research for book or light entertainment programme, or weird fake sob story biography or DM hack looking for a story.

I can spot a troll usually, no clackety bridge or furry knuckles here I promise. Lurked for v long time, only got more active when I remembered login details. Saw poonami, p**is Beaker, lady who's holiday villa was borrowed by neighbours who cut keys to her villa for 7 years.

Entirely true, totally genuine, hand on heart, properly revolting.

Oh Ok.I have just searched and couldn't fing any previous posts

Blinky and Emily omg! Thank you for telling me... And yet at the same time - you told me That!

Such a ... Erm, visual moniker for that activity. Now I'm thinking about consistency and err transfer. Good lord!

Laurie what do you say when people tell you these things? I try not to judge, different strokes and all that but... Come on. Fingering shit?

Well..gosh. This has been eye-opening!

This sounds very much like a storytale, either than or a complete exaggeration of what actually happened.

I really really wish I hadn't googled any of this, I have just found out what an Albama Hot Pocket is, OMFG, somebody please remove my brain.

Lol! Who needs a Viz Profanasaurous when you have Mumsnet?!

No no no. NOT Richmond Park. I was going to make a special trip next week so the DC 's could practise on their bikes. Clearly that's now off.

Can anyone link to the holiday villa thread please?

Whenever our dog rolls in poo in the park frequently I, like a previous poster, assume it is fox poo.

The thought that I am washing human shit off of her into our bath is very much more disturbing, somehow.

Ok, to dispel troll myth. again, still quite flattered, there is absolutely no exaggeration here, what would be the point??

I have posted on

1. "should I have thought of MN when someone tutted when I changed toddler nappy in reptile house?"
2. AIBI To think that private schools should be banned
3. I am scared as going in for a EMCS, Please help.
4. Burger meltdown WWYD.
5. Problems with asthmatic child
6. Problems with premmie
7. Problems with Mil
8. Wedding etiquette

I have got my setting to display for 3 days, is that the problem? I thought that setting was just for my viewing, I know what I wrote and don't need reminding. Sorry for confusions, and thank you Laurie what an interesting job you have, sexual marriage counsellor by the sounds of it for backing me up. HTH

How did they manage to co-ordinate needing a crap at the exact same point? Did one of them have to hold it until the other one was ready? OP was one of them walking a bit funny when you first saw them?