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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not want to see grown adults defecate in the park?

223 replies

ResponsibleAdult · 02/04/2014 20:52

This evening. Lovely mild, light, spring evening, decide to go for a gentle stroll in the park with DD and dogs. See charming young couple walking hand in hand in front of us, no small children, no special needs, no mobility issues. "Ah, loves young dream" I think.

Shortly, the couple separate and walk slowly in different directions. "Ah, going to pose for a softly backlit photo to show their romance blossoming" I think.

Couple remain, separated but squatting in bushes. "Ah a simple game of hide and seek to show spontaneous nature of loves young dream" I naively think Hmm.

On approaching, as walking the dogs, I am able to see she has her trousers down and is weeing/pooing in the bushes. Turn back to see squatting shatting boyfriend is now standing and weeing against a tree.

Shock Angry Angry Angry I got the rage.

Me loudest voice with tone of righteous indignation "EXCUSE ME? EXCUSE ME? There is a public toilet 100metres over there" I was ignored, and given a shrug of the shoulders by little Miss Holly Golightly.

So I repeat, my volume rising "EXCUSE ME? There is a public toilet, that is OPEN just over there. I suggest you go and use it as I DONT WANT TO SEE YOUR BARE ARSE!". Point at Golum boy, and repeat same phrase.

Loves young dream ( Golum boy and Golightly) pull up their trousers and shuffle off, muttering "alright! alright" under their breath. Was it a dare, a FB craze, a bizarre fetish, extreme sport dogging???? I don't care.

DD gives me a Grin, I give her a Wink, we carry on our walk.

AIBU???

OP posts:
minniebar · 02/04/2014 21:21

How…. germy.

BookFairy · 02/04/2014 21:21

WTF. Oh my days.

avocadoadvantage · 02/04/2014 21:21

I'm quite new to MN. My eyes are being opened, I can tell you! Shock

HazeltheMcWitch · 02/04/2014 21:21

See, I read Laurie's post as:

There's also folks who meet up to do it - like a niche digging.

And that was somehow worse.

I was about to be on the lookout for those in parks with trowels

ThatBloodyWoman · 02/04/2014 21:22

Right,.

Forget bumsex night.

It's crap in the park night from now on.

Next date night is down the rec.

CerealMom · 02/04/2014 21:22

I forgot...

So OP, didn't you offer them some of your (dog) poo bags?

Bag it and bin it :-)

StealthPolarBear · 02/04/2014 21:22

It must have been a sex thing. What are te chances they both needed a poo at the same time.
Mind you my children manage it but they're under 8

newsecretidentity · 02/04/2014 21:22

How exactly does one get to the point in their relationship where they think the next logical step is to go together and shit in a park?

Binkyridesagain · 02/04/2014 21:22

WTF would you say don't google Laurie you know when someone says don't google some idiot (me) googles it. Coprophilia, I never knew the word existed, i now wish I could turn back time so I would still never knew the word existed.

StealthPolarBear · 02/04/2014 21:23

"I'm ready darling. Did you have a big lunch?"

ThatBloodyWoman · 02/04/2014 21:23
BadgersRetreat · 02/04/2014 21:26

my kitten manages to always need a poo whenever i'm cleaning his litter tray

i joke he's a bit of a performance artiste....i see he's not alone

tilliebob · 02/04/2014 21:26

Sweet Jesus. I want to go back to the time approx. 2 minutes ago when I didn't know any of this tiny mind boggling

DameFanny · 02/04/2014 21:26

Grin SPB

EverythingsDozy · 02/04/2014 21:27

That is foul! What is wrong with some people?!! What the actual fuck is wrong with people???
I'm not surprised you got the rage, I'm getting the rage just thinking about this!!! AngryAngryAngry
Hurrrr I feel a little sick! Can you imagine if somebody stood in it?!

StealthPolarBear · 02/04/2014 21:28

That was just a guess btw. Not from my own experience. Although I do poo to an audience "mummy look at this minecraft thing" "mummy I need a wee" "mummy let me sing you thins son from nursery"
It is NOT from choice

BadgersRetreat · 02/04/2014 21:28

it's quite cold here, doubt anyone would be that desperate

NigellasGuest · 02/04/2014 21:28
alistron1 · 02/04/2014 21:29

Maybe they both have an extreme aversion to public toilets.

PowerPantsRule · 02/04/2014 21:29

I have been married for 16 years and have only just graduated to pooing in the en suite whilst dh is in the bedroom.

santaandthearmadillo · 02/04/2014 21:29

WTF is wrong with some people?! Shock

dirty gits, it's weird to see one person doing that but two?! and a couple?! Shock

alistron1 · 02/04/2014 21:30

I mean, can you IMAGINE a public boh in a park?! I'd rather shit in my socks.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 02/04/2014 21:30

I think I'd prefer it if they just gave each other Cleveland steamers. Better than leaving the shit lying around the park

ThatBloodyWoman · 02/04/2014 21:30

So if wee stuff is watersports, what's this called?

alistron1 · 02/04/2014 21:31

Bog, not boh. Doh.