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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not want to see grown adults defecate in the park?

223 replies

ResponsibleAdult · 02/04/2014 20:52

This evening. Lovely mild, light, spring evening, decide to go for a gentle stroll in the park with DD and dogs. See charming young couple walking hand in hand in front of us, no small children, no special needs, no mobility issues. "Ah, loves young dream" I think.

Shortly, the couple separate and walk slowly in different directions. "Ah, going to pose for a softly backlit photo to show their romance blossoming" I think.

Couple remain, separated but squatting in bushes. "Ah a simple game of hide and seek to show spontaneous nature of loves young dream" I naively think Hmm.

On approaching, as walking the dogs, I am able to see she has her trousers down and is weeing/pooing in the bushes. Turn back to see squatting shatting boyfriend is now standing and weeing against a tree.

Shock Angry Angry Angry I got the rage.

Me loudest voice with tone of righteous indignation "EXCUSE ME? EXCUSE ME? There is a public toilet 100metres over there" I was ignored, and given a shrug of the shoulders by little Miss Holly Golightly.

So I repeat, my volume rising "EXCUSE ME? There is a public toilet, that is OPEN just over there. I suggest you go and use it as I DONT WANT TO SEE YOUR BARE ARSE!". Point at Golum boy, and repeat same phrase.

Loves young dream ( Golum boy and Golightly) pull up their trousers and shuffle off, muttering "alright! alright" under their breath. Was it a dare, a FB craze, a bizarre fetish, extreme sport dogging???? I don't care.

DD gives me a Grin, I give her a Wink, we carry on our walk.

AIBU???

OP posts:
NoArmaniNoPunani · 02/04/2014 21:32

So if wee stuff is watersports, what's this called?
Scat

LaurieFairyCake · 02/04/2014 21:32

Stuff with shit Grin

Scat fetish

NigellasGuest · 02/04/2014 21:32

?? Cleveland... what...???

DameFanny · 02/04/2014 21:32

"messy play" perhaps thatbloody?

newsecretidentity · 02/04/2014 21:34

i'm going to have to google cleveland steamers now, aren't I?

AnnieMaybe · 02/04/2014 21:34

dodgy indian curry?

ThatBloodyWoman · 02/04/2014 21:35

Oh god.

why did I get drawn into this?

newsecretidentity · 02/04/2014 21:35

NoArmani!

Binkyridesagain · 02/04/2014 21:35

DOn't google it newsecret there is not enough brain bleach in the world.

IAmNotDarling · 02/04/2014 21:36

Surely not? I'm googling and can't find anything about this sort of thing.

Urgh. I live near a lovely park with very nice roses. I hope that human faeces are not the key to lovely rose gardens.

rumbelina · 02/04/2014 21:36

??

rumbelina · 02/04/2014 21:38

Oh never mind, it was a little poo with a face. Although technically there should have been two.

AuroraSim · 02/04/2014 21:39

Perhaps there heavily into the BDSM scene, sometimes that sort of "play" is done in those areas.

Yuk!

newsecretidentity · 02/04/2014 21:39

Too late...

MiscellaneousAssortment · 02/04/2014 21:40

Eerugh!

You probably added to their titillation you know, double erreugh!

What the hell is a Cleveland steamer? I don't want to google it!

ResponsibleAdult · 02/04/2014 21:41

Good points. Should I have offered a dog poo bag, I had some on me? If the other habit/hobby is known as water sports, what should we call this? As a pp said "digging"? And with Golightly and Gollum, no evidence of loo paper being flourished for bum wipage. The germ potential was extensive.

The more I think about it the more I need brain bleach. I wasn't in any old park, it was a historic park like an M&S park, only more historic.

So glad I wasn't being unreasonable, my 15yrs and 12yrs old think it is hilarious I told two grown ups off in the park.

But really??? Find a room you filthy shitters Angry

OP posts:
Binkyridesagain · 02/04/2014 21:42

Miscellaneous it involves poo, a chest and imitating a steam roller. The rest you can use your imagination.

paragirl1981 · 02/04/2014 21:42

oh bloody hell I googled it and somehow found a page of people wearing adult diapers and pooing themselves in public!
Brain bleach anyoneSad

Cinderelephant · 02/04/2014 21:44

This thread has got to be another mumsnet classic.

Emilycee · 02/04/2014 21:44

Miscellaneous - also known as Tarmac-ing!

DaleyBum · 02/04/2014 21:45

Have I stood in human shit?!

Odaat · 02/04/2014 21:45

I am more disturbed they didn't wipe than it was sexual... I need help.

ResponsibleAdult · 02/04/2014 21:48

Steamer Shock!!!!!!!!

And I thought the when my dogs rolled in something in the park that the foul smell from the dogs was fox turdage.

I am going to have to develop hyper vigilance for turdage of any kind and be uber suspicious of any filthy whiffs.

My life has just got a whole lot more complicated. This is not a good thing.

OP posts:
phantomnamechanger · 02/04/2014 21:52

I really do not get people who enjoy poo and wee in their sexual encounters I mean, bleurgh!! Most people would be embarrassed to let out a little fart!! I can sort of see the thrill of power/dominating someone by crapping on them but what's in it for the, erm, recipient? no wonder people are not that fussed about washing their hands after the loo if they are used to being covered in shit is it!

TooOldForGlitter · 02/04/2014 21:53

All those poor dogs being blamed for the shite Sad

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