AIBU to think the school should have told DP about his kids parents evening?

[littlejessie]

A-ages since I last posted, but thought this might be the place to ask! My DP has two sons, has been very involved in their lives since separating from their mum when they were small. They are both in primary school. Pre-school, they were with us around 75% of time outside time spent with child minder, and since school has started, they come to us every weekend (mostly).

He's a good Dad, generous financially to XDP and very involved in all aspects of the kids lives.

A couple of weeks ago we heard through XDP there was a parent's evening the following week. This was a surprise as he's signed up to the Parentmail email system and we understood he'd get this kind of information directly (nothing had arrived).

He emailed the school, just in case there was some kind of issue:

Dear (school secretary),

I was informed tonight that there is a parent’s evening for DS1 and DS2 next Thursday.

I haven’t been notified of this by the school. Could you make sure I am receiving direct notification of any meetings about the boys and their progress?

Thanks,

(DP)

and this is the response that arrived:

"I will try (DP) but that information goes home via school bags, it's not something that is communicated by Parentmail as it is individual to each child. The boys appointments are 4.30pm for DS1 and 5.50pm for DS2. I will let their teachers know you need to be told of meetings separately.

Probably best for future years to keep an eye on the newsletter and when you see the dates for Parents' Nights pop up remind me and I can let you know what time is allocated - best if you do this as there's no way I'll remember! This is what we do for several parents in similar circumstances to yourself. We will try to keep you in the loop in future.

Kind regards

(school secretary)"

AIBU thinking this response isn't quite right? Surely the school have some kind of obligation to keep him posted about this kind of thing?

Maybe this had already been pointed out but the school DID inform the dad of the dates. The secretary said in her response that the dates had gone out in the newsletter. So while he may not have had the specific appointment times he did have the dates so could just ask for the time. Job done. Sounds like the school are doing a good job of communicating.

Did you say what system is used by your DCs school OP?

Oops duplicate post... blooming phone!

jaynebxl the newsletter too, only went to mum. I've mentioned this previously in the thread.

I agree there's a limit to what can't be issued in duplicate. We obviously see what's school bagged on Fridays, and can see homework then too, which is helpful.

I still maintain that communication specific to the progress of individual children ought to be communicated to each parent in the event of a separation, if this is requested. It's in the child's interest that willing, involved parents are given the opportunity to support learning at home through this kind of dialogue with schools.

Oops! Almost duplicate post as last one didn't appear!

imo, it should be communicated to both parents even if they are not separated. preferably in a way that information can't get lost in the school bag (i.e. email).
I always though what my school does is normal. but maybe I need to give the lovely school sec a bunch of

I think it is childs, NRP and the schools interest to commuicate well.

Engaged parents= better achieving, better behaved children overall.

We have similar problems. I think all NRPs should be on an email list and should be sent out communication, wouldnt be that hard.

There a loads of reasons why NRPs dontget told stuff by RPs.(scattiness ws our main issue).

OP - our PTA set up a fb page that reminds parents of school stuff, and gives up dates, it might be worth your DP going along to a meeting and bringing it up, actually getting involved in the pTA would be a good waybto get more involved with the school in general, and his DCs school life.

I think some of the resoponses on here are vile and show how sexist the whole NRP debate is.

School need to move away from endless paper stuffed in book bags, most companies have gone paperless for financial reason as it is too expensive.

Using systems such as online locked calendars, websites and text messages are an alternative for those parents that have internet which reduces paper use

Newsletters don't need to be printed they can be placed online so everyone can see them

There are many nrp that have problems with access and there ex if the school then appears accent on appears, to treat them as a second rate parent then they are could be left feeling that if authority does value their role as a parent then what is the point, this could and does lead to a parent dropping out of a child's school life. That is why there are rules about school treating parents equally as both parents being evolved with have a better educational out come for the child.

Fortunately this is not the case in the ops case but for other nrp it can be the the case and is why it is important when a nrp asks for info for it to be freely available and given automaticly

Agreed, and this is why I don't think the response from the secretary was 100%.

thedoctrine how annoying would it be if your child's school gave you almost no notice for everything though. Realistically that has been much of my life since dsd started school. Her Mum is good at remembering to tell us most things but a lot of small stuff falls through the net. Take 50p in for a cake sale (there was no cash in the house! Had to rely on a kind friend at the school gate), music project day where a parent was expected to come in and help (and we were both working), Thai dress day (my personal favourite!). The class teacher said "oh, didn't you get the letter last week?" Um, no... Because the letter went to dsd's Mum on a Monday evening and she forgot to tell me. I pick dsd up on other days and do my best to pass letters on but probably only have a 90% success rate because I'm fallible.

The pp who updates a class blog each evening is my hero. Seriously, I think I love you! I'm going to suggest this to my dsd's teacher