To ask what else was on the memo to all womankind that I clearly missed?

[Pipbin]

Last I heard fanjos could only be washed in pure water and even the thought of soap would give you thrush. Now it seems it's fine to scrub them with wire wool and dettol.
Also, it used to be ok to just trim the hair that might poke out around your knickers, but now all body hair is evil and must be removed via hot wax.
And then I read on MN that washing up in a bowl and then putting it on the draining board like they used to in the fairy adverts is all wrong and we should be washing up under running water.
And while we are about it, what the fuck is quinoa and more to the point how did everyone else know how to say it?

So what else was on this memo that I missed?

MsUumellmahaye - your dc and mine are still alive because we are so filthy - just think how strong we have made their immune systems.

I was a bit when I read on here that I must change my ladygarden topiary habits, in order to demonstrate to my sons that pubic hair is normal and acceptable. I object to this on two counts. Firstly, I have my pubic region the way I want it, and the way I find most comfortable, and don't feel that is a matter for rule by democracy. And secondly, the dses are nearly 17, nearly 19 and 20 - so if I started wandering round the house with a 70's style pubic bush on show, for educational purposes, they would be horrified beyond belief - by the nekkidness not the bush!

I do love that what I used to do back in the '90s, when I bunged chopped up food on the highchair for weaning sons to grab, now has a Proper Term!

I have never eaten quinoa - and I know that if I go out and buy some, it will sit at the back of the cupboard, gathering dust, for years until I finally throw it out.

She'll respect you more in the long run if she sees you can admit you're wrong.

Important life-lesson for her- always read instructions before you stick anything up your vagina. It's like reading medication leaflets.

Sorry

anal sex at centerparcs really?

is that an all inclusive deal?

@ Tilly

I did read the instructions in 1991

For the last couple of years, people have been saying anal sex at CentreParcs or Butlins (it depends who's saying it) is an MN thing, but no-one knows why. No-one even remembers an actual thread. They just heard "somewhere" that there was one.

I think it's All Made Up.

SDT yes I too never had the desire to show my male children my foo foo. too late now as they are mid 20s and already damaged.

hey ho!

Dark ages, that. Look, they didn't have iPads in those days, did they?

They'd definitely changed by 2002. I remember supplying some instructions to a girl who wasn't allowed them. (She was flipping 18!)

My god, everything was so boring in 1991. How did we not notice?

You'd have to offer me something a hell of a lot better than buggery to make me set foot in Butlins. How odd.

Yes! Some parents wouldn't allow them. I remember that. The weather was better though. And the shoes.

You can't poo in a downstairs loo, unless you're not family in which case you can't use the upstairs loo, unless it's an ensuite in which case you can't poo in the upstairs loo even if you're related to the loo owner.

If you've been paid to be in the house then you can't use any loo. Ever.

I hope that's clear.

in 2012, someone asked if there was an MN link between Center-Parcs and anal sex

And not a single person posting on the thread knew of one, btw!

I was at the back of most every queue when woman-lore was dispensed. (I think I spent to long in the queue of 'how to march up to the bar and order a pint without waiting for a man'.)

However, my particular field of ignorance is make-up. I can just about handle the basics but there's a whole range of stuff that is just baffling. What the fuck is primer? I thought it was that stuff my husband put on walls before he did a crap paint job and had to get a real man in. (We're well-matched - he missed out on the man memos.)

If you have a different parenting style to the person you're in the general vicinity of then you should be prepared to be labelled precious/neglectful.

Hovering near the tree your small child is attempting to climb? Precious.
Not being within arm's reach of said tree-climber? Neglectful.

Other child hits yours & you object? Precious.
Leave them to sort themselves out? Neglectful.

If you dare to only spend time with people with a similar parenting style to avoid such judgements then you're cliquey & not allowing your child to mix with a variety of people. This is simultaneously both precious and neglectful.

That's a relief Tilly. Now how to get rid of the red-chino-round-ankle-MC-dogging-amongst-the-verdant-trees images in my head

Running the only time I bought primer, my foundation formed small bobbles all over my face. It was like pebbledashing one's visage.

Primer for your face? I haven't even heard of this.

Hold on, statement walls are bad now?

Looks sadly at the feature wall that was only finished yesterday and has been decorated with 170 per roll paper

Grennie it's true, I've seen the primer-facie evidence :)

I didnt get the memo about any of these things either. what is weird is that my daughters appear to understand about make up and clothes with absolutely no input from me. Also they dont drink, whereas I drink like a drunk fish. I think this must be their form of rebellion?

The memo passed me by as well

Mess doesn't bother me
I have better things to do than clean
I like sleeping on the couch. In a sleeping bag
I never rinse meat.
My only bathroom is downstairs. Through the kitchen.

Oh well. Maybe i was born a bloke after all

Shadows Ahh got a weimie and a giant shnuzer thingy know where you're comming from, tongueing not encouraged but it defintley happens more often than I like to admit.

At petrol stations, the full family must go into the shop to pay, regardless of number of responsible adults, just in case the car spontaneously combusts.

Well, that memo passed me by. I just use Pay at Pump, don't bother with the kiosk.

And skinny jeans? Waaaayyyyy too fat for that, so shoot me now

I'm trying to prove to DD I'm not embarassing.

Well, I've managed to break Rule No 1 of being Mum.

I'm now cool to the boys in DD's form.

I like heavy metal, and especially Rammstein at present. DD was complaining about how embarrassing it is to be in my car with the music on, and the boys were going "Rammstein? Wow, your mum's cool".

DD is so embarrassed. And I'm not at all repentant, which makes it worse for her