To ask what else was on the memo to all womankind that I clearly missed?

[Pipbin]

Last I heard fanjos could only be washed in pure water and even the thought of soap would give you thrush. Now it seems it's fine to scrub them with wire wool and dettol.
Also, it used to be ok to just trim the hair that might poke out around your knickers, but now all body hair is evil and must be removed via hot wax.
And then I read on MN that washing up in a bowl and then putting it on the draining board like they used to in the fairy adverts is all wrong and we should be washing up under running water.
And while we are about it, what the fuck is quinoa and more to the point how did everyone else know how to say it?

So what else was on this memo that I missed?

oh yeah and you should boil your undercrackers and tea towels...but NEVER together!

Panic! My dog won't take her shoes off before she enters the house! Should I dettol her paws or pop her in the dishwasher? (Obviously I could wash her bowl in it at the same time!)

Does anyone have a copy of the manual I can borrow- I seem to have lost mine.

mooncups are the way forward.

no matter that no one in my whole RL has ever mentioned one or knows what they are. it's in the memo.

I'm still reeling from the revelation yesterday that tampons shouldn't be flushed

I'm scared to WRTWT. Don't want to know what else i've been doing incorrectly for 20 years.

Forget keenwah. It's all about bulgar wheat these day.
I always found toilet brushes unsavoury. Just chuck a load of bleach down.

Apparently coasters are v naff. If your furniture is nice and new enough to need protecting from hot drink you are clearly new money!!

I've got two bathrooms. Both downstairs.
I poo in the garden.

No no no, you have to have a great big hairy fanny that you ensure your male children see 48.42 times daily in order to stop them thinking that hair removal is acceptable. Also, every fanny thread multiple mums come on and post that they think that any man whose partner shaves is a paedo. I dislike 99% of the fuckers on this site, lucky they are such fun to observe and the 1% are truly madly utterly wonderful.

you can't flush tampons oh dear!

I missed the one which said that going for a wee, a poo or changing sanitary protection became a spectator sport for small children!

Someone said the other day her toddler enjoyed watching her change her pads. Just why oh why??

"you can't flush tampons oh dear!"

Apparently. I was too scared to ask questions because everyone immediately got super-ranty about the planet-murdering selfishness of people who flush anything.

I suppose it could have been an April fool?

I've just moved to an old house with no downstairs loo. Now too nervous to let tradesman in. I suppose fasting tradesmen might be ok.

I don't think I've ever heard anyone actually say quinoa.

I've been on mumsnet under different guises for a number of years now & I still don't know what a sticky thread is
I missed the memo, the handbook & even the promotional flyer .

However I DO know not to seat my 2 DC at a table in a cafe whilst I get the food & drinks, otherwise I am likely to be run out of town!

I wash up under running water, it's a habit I picked up while I lived in Forrin. But the trick is not to have the tap running the whole time! You get everything wet, then wash it all up with a dish sponge and a little pot of dilute washing-up liquid. And then you run it all under a tap to rinse, which is running at a trickle, not a huge water-fall-type gush. It really does save water and you don't end up with soap and grease all over your plates. I find the idea of plates just taken out of dirty soapy water and left to dry quite minging now.

fideline everyone on mumsnet apparently knows that tradesmen only use your toilet to mark their territory like a tomcat, and it's actually got nothing to do with the fact that they might be in your house for ten hours at a time. A proper grown up can hold on for ten hours.

I've also learned a lot about parking penguins & my tinterweb is regularly invaded by whole flocks of them. I think they're migrating south!

"tradesmen only use your toilet to mark their territory like a tomcat"

Not if I lock them in the house and refuse to let them have fluids

Frances Sticky thread is one that stays at the top of the board (pinned there by MNHQ) so it stays prominent and doesn't need 'bumping'

Quinoa (keen-wah) is for when you are consciously unfooding...keep up.

OMG the penguins, following me around the web with their cold dead eyes. Never reading a parking saga again.

I don't know when and why people starting saying menz on here.

fideline may I suggest a practical alternative? Catheterise them, they can pee at will and take their bags of urine home. That'll teach them a lesson for having the audacity to have a working, functioning human body

fideline, the tampon thing rocked my world too, and not in a good way. I read it on here a while ago though, not yesterday, so I don't think it's just an April fool.

I still flush them

You're also not really meant to let people use your loo for a dump, PARTICULARLY not people from the lower orders like decorators and tradespeople.

It's fine to talk, let kids scream, use your mobile and play music in the quiet carriage on trains and anyone who thinks it isn't is precious and self-important.

It's also fine to get your phone out in the cinema if you're bored or want to check the time or something. It doesn't matter if it shines into people's line of vision and distracts from the film.

Quinoa is delicious though and does NOT taste of wet cardboard. You're doing it wrong if it does!

Care to come and demonstrate the technique treacle? I'm a bit uncoordinated but normally grasp (ahem) things after a dozen or so demonstrations. I'll start rounding up the tradesmen.

That cats should wear nappies, but very young toddlers shouldn't in case it confuses them. Unless it's a terry towelling nappy, in which case kids can wear them until they're teenagers.