To ask what else was on the memo to all womankind that I clearly missed?

[Pipbin]

Last I heard fanjos could only be washed in pure water and even the thought of soap would give you thrush. Now it seems it's fine to scrub them with wire wool and dettol.
Also, it used to be ok to just trim the hair that might poke out around your knickers, but now all body hair is evil and must be removed via hot wax.
And then I read on MN that washing up in a bowl and then putting it on the draining board like they used to in the fairy adverts is all wrong and we should be washing up under running water.
And while we are about it, what the fuck is quinoa and more to the point how did everyone else know how to say it?

So what else was on this memo that I missed?

IMPORTANT TIP about pooing in someone else's loo.
A few months ago I read a piece of advice about being a good hostess (in The Lady as it happens) which said that you should always leave a box of matches in the guest bathroom because apparently lighting a match or two afterwards will take away any embarassing odours.

Tampons: I used to flush until about 10 years ago when the drain between us and next door got blocked and we had to get Dynarod in. The man from next door, DH and the drainage man were all staring in to the drain as "items of sanitary material" bobbed about and him from next door kept shaking his head and saying "Well we never flush anything like that". Never, ever, ever again.

despite being an enthusiast of quinoa for decades I missed all the stuff about:

weddings - they are such a scam, apart from everything else the dresses all look so similar and people often choose one they are unlikely to ever want to wear again, it all seems so silly

and marriage itself, apart from my brief period of too much recreational and prescription drug use it has always been men who bring up the topic of getting married or adopt a sort of proprietorial stance and want to be 'exclusive'

and handbags, have tried them but it is such an easy way to lose so much stuff in one go if you leave it somewhere, much better to divide stuff among pockets

I definitely missed the memo that states that the naked female face is unsightly and must never be shown in public, and it is The Rule that makeup must ALWAYS be worn. How very dare any woman even leave the house, let alone go to WORK without a mask of artificial slap?

Postman. Do you actually buy bottled water to wash your bits? I am boggled at the thought.

oh yeah makeup

I have tried but it makes me look like a man who is making fun of women

[unmadeup grin] I think we might have been separated at birth Mitchy.

(I have been using a lot of tinted moisturiser recently to conceal a brown smudge on my cheek, probably sun damage or menopause or something, but then someone asked why my neck was a different colour to my face )

Memo:
You must never ever have helium balloons. Even if it is to celebrate your 100yr old granny's 25th cross Atlantic swim pulling a boat load of orphans.

Why? Do people bury the helium when they've finished with it? Surely it just rejoins the atmosphere?

Oh god really? So many new things to feel guilty about.

Helium has escape velocity. It actually exits the atmosphere and enters space.

I think i missed Helium week at school.

6cats don't you?

Spring water is also known as tap water

I'm surprised at so many people flushing stuff other than bodily productions and toilet paper down the loo.

Postman
Its all supposed to be self cleaning isn't it? not washing certainly saves on the water bill.

QueenofLouisiana stick the dog in the dishwasher, the bogbrush alongside, throw in the dog bowl too. You'll be doing your bit to save water..and the earth..and all mankind. Or something like that

How big is your vulva that not washing it saves on the water bill?! Or is that a rude thing to ask

Have we mentioned bog brushes in the dishwasher yet?

Oh I like this thread :)

@ "Or is that a rude thing to ask "

Helium reserves are also extremely low, hence the advisory [geek face]

We also must attend a wedding even if our kids are not invited.

Can someone explain this vag cleaning with detol/wire wool thing?? That stuff embeds itself in your skin.

Don't know anything about dettol/wire wool but some people put Veet on theirs apparently!

Which is strange as the vagina has no hair

Yes, someone has already pointed that out to the poster. Obvs, is MN after all!