AIBU to tell women in their late 50's and 60's that jet black hair they insist on having

[NotSuchASmugMarriedNow]

is not flattering, looks odd, and needs to be softened and changed to a bitter chocolate colour with small amounts of grey being allowed through.

I see nothing but "Cruella de Ville" look-a-likes for women of a certain age these days.

Bitchy aint I!

The matte jet black hair thing looks shit on everyone of all ages.

So yabu to make it an age thing.

People with naturally black hair - it shines.

What's your hair like op?

Yabu. Age doesn't matter

If you want to, but expect them to tell you what they think is wrong with your appearance.

I tend to not notice colour what hair colour a stranger has, because I just don't give a shit.

To each their own.

I'm in no way an advocate of natural hair- my own hair is bright red with blonde bits in stark contrast to my natural mousy brown. However you are definitely not being unreasonable- jet black hair on anyone of any age is a nightmare. It is really ageing and harsh. Case in point- Alison King who plays Carla in Coronation Street. She looks so much better with the brownish/red hair she has now as apposed to the jet black barnet she used to have.

Only if you're their hairdresser and have some responsibility for the end result!

YANBU - old women should have the grace and dignity to just fade away and never draw attention to themselves! After all, who in their right minds would want anything AGING - looking old is literally the worst way for a woman to be ;)

How dare these old harridans sully your view!

YABU - find something worth worrying about

My mother kept her hair jet black until she was well into her 70s. She looked fantastic.

I'm going au natuelle at the moment - letting the grey come through in my light brown reddish hair.
YANBU

Well thanks for your opinions - I KNOW it sounds bitchy, but I actually think its the "dyed black hair" that's ageing, not a little bit of grey coming through.

hey ho,

mines mousy brown (highlighted) with a little grey coming through. I wouldn't dream of dying it jet black so don't really understand why so many women do

yabu - it's really not your business.

Black is a harsh colour and can be hard to pull off. I know because I have black hair. It's very short and I try to look after it so it's shiny. I also have to darken my brows a little so I'm somewhat matching but I love it.
granted I'm not as old as the people you're talking about but I couldn't give a monkey's what others think.

I think bright blonde or bright red looks harsher on elder ladies but each to their own.

My nan did this into her 70s. It does look witchy. I have black hair and am gradually lightening it as I move towards 50

Wouldn't dream of saying it to anyone, but yes, skin tone does change as you get older and black looks harsh

Maybe they don't have the money to spend big bucks on bitter chcolate with grey through it.

I am 58 an my hair is purple at the moment. I luffs it

surely hair dye is the same price regardless of what the colour is?

My Irish grandmother also had jet black hair until she died in her seventies. She was gorgeous.

The young mother in Tesco wearing six inch heels, ratty hair extensions and what can only be described as cotton lingerie however... I so wished my grandmother had seen her and berated her for making a Holy Show.

Don't mention my hair and I won't mention your apostrophes...

Deal?

At 72 my mum has this jet black long hair and I really wish she would do something different as it looks very harsh

its the black hair that isnt maintained so when the very noticeable grey roots come through it looks trashy

"Don't mention my hair and I won't mention your apostrophes..."

(don't you sometimes wish mumsnet had some sort of function with which one could applaud certain posters or give them a thumbs up or thank them or even just give them a brownie point ...)

Oops posted too soon

I think if she had been naturally black haired it might be different, but her natural colour was mid brown. The black really doesn't do her any favours but she loves it. And that's the main thing I guess.

Alot of the elderly ladies who are patients proudly tell me "I go to have my hair washed and dried every week and have it tinted"

Tinted it's dyed to within an inch of it;s life.
Do I say "Oh it looks nice" when it looks dull and sooty.
Do I snort and say "Ya don't say"
Or do I say nothing.

I say nothing of course, just busy myself washing my hands or something.

I agree that matt dyed black hair looks dull, flat and saps the colour out of skin. Any age really. The young or beautiful can pull it f however.

The thing which i do find specific to aging hair being dyed black is the big pale parting. Not because of roots growing out, but because the hair is thinning on top and the scalp is showing very obviously through the black.