AIBU to tell women in their late 50's and 60's that jet black hair they insist on having

[NotSuchASmugMarriedNow]

is not flattering, looks odd, and needs to be softened and changed to a bitter chocolate colour with small amounts of grey being allowed through.

I see nothing but "Cruella de Ville" look-a-likes for women of a certain age these days.

Bitchy aint I!

Your hair sounds very dull and bland op. Some folk like something a bit more striking.

While we are on the topic of hair colour, could I please make a case against blonde hair with black roots? I am talking about you, Kerry Katona and Ashley Pussy Cat Doll woman on Ant and Dec/ Dancing on Ice. Not a good look. Sorry.

How old are you?

My nan had dyed black hair until she died in her 80s. It suited her colouring and she looked fab (although she did sometimes have very cool dark purple hair if the dye job went a bit wrong!)

I really miss her

56, most of my hair is white. i don't have it tinted or dyed but if i wanted to, i would.

Black hair is gorgeous on natural raven haired girls , or natural dark chocolate haired girls .... on anyone else its not so good, probably because it doesn't quite gel with the skin-tone on paler people.

Dyes rarely look natural , much like fake tan .... unless you get a really really good one applied by someone highly skilled , its going to look a bit shit .

< pulls hat over ginger but was supposed to be blonde mistake >

I have a friend in her mid fifties. Her hair is very dark, naturally so, with pale skin and dark eyebrows. It always looks lovely and glossy and when she is in the sun, natural auburn tones can be seen. I don't think that happens when hair is dyed very dark.
She has one or two grey strands coming through but says that she won't dye it dark as dyed black can look just as awful as bleached yellow blonde.

YABU to think they'd give a shiny shite what you think

YABU
It may surprise you but some women do not dress to look young, or to attract the opposite sex, or to get approval from their peers. They wear what the hell they want to because it makes them feel good. Others may be 'mistaken' in thinking that wearing their hair this way does indeed make them look 20yrs younger. Either way if they're happy why should you feel you need to convince them otherwise??

I've had her black glossy hair and now have toned/shaded bright red hair.

It looks fab and I've even had doctors/victors etc asking what dye I used and where they can buy it.

Oh and I don't go to a hair dresser my dh does it for me.

My SIL (late 50s) has hers jet black, and painfully straight. She became allergic to the dye, so had to stop. I saw a pic of her with her grey hair and she looked AMAZING. It really softened her. Unfortunately she has now gone back to the black. If she were talking to me, I'd have been able to tell her how good it looked!

YABU to suggest they swap one colour dye for another.

I stopped dyeing my hair a year ago and am a total convert to the natural look (100% grey in my case).

Cruella de ville does look great though, doesn't she?

Apart from the puppy jackets, obvs.

It depends on skin tone, Michelle off Corrie looks good.

I used to have beautiful black hair with auborn highlights naturally. I went white in my teens which I dyed brown. I let it grow out in my 20s but it looked a bit skunk like with black patches. Now its purple with white roots. It needs doing every three weeks which is a bit shit but I am still far too young to go natural.

I am 55, I have jet black hair, there is a bit of white but you have to look for it. I am sick to the back teeth of people who seem to think that they have the right to either ask me when I am going to stop dying it, or telling me I should stop doing so. This may well have a lot to do with the fact that I have been allergic to hair dye for about ten years. It's all natural, so piss off!

It does look awful, on most (perhaps not all) people after a certain age, it's aging.

YABU to tell them though, unless you are their hairdresser and they ask you to dye it, then you could suggest a better alternative.

dawndonna, as it's natural you probably have the right skin tone to carry it off.

Ha ha well said Dawndonnaagaain. Each to their own I say. soon you'll be saying we 50 somethings shouldn't be wearing bikinis...but that's probably already been covered in another thread!!!

YANBU you are being vile

I am so sick, sick, sick of ageism on MN.

I think dyed black hair looks harsh, mostly, whatever age you are.

The ageism we are subject to is, I think, what makes lots of us dye in order to cover up the grey.

I'm sick of the ageism on here too. Think I might join Gransnet even though I'm not a gran

Agree Hope. When I first stopped dyeing my hair I went through a kind of mini crisis and had to find a way to reframe who I am (a woman with grey hair and therefore old, even if it does suit me). But I feel very strongly that most men don't dye their hair, so why should women?

If you want to dye your hair, fine, but if you are dyeing your hair to appear younger because of ageism, that's a problem.