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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my colleague should not have told not to say this??

214 replies

sweeterthanhoney · 30/03/2014 12:07

So we were talking about relationships at work and I said - I can't believe I've been with my partner for 5 years, that shit cray"

My colleague gave me this look Confused and said don't ever say that again and then laughed.

Aibu to think I can say what I want.

OP posts:
FunkyBoldRibena · 30/03/2014 12:38

He is probably trying desperately to save you from yourself.

oldgrandmama · 30/03/2014 12:39

Sorry, OP, you sound just silly.

Original poster
sweeterthanhoney · 30/03/2014 12:40

Maybe he doesn't like swearing or making jokes about mental health issues

Confused

Right .... so I'm making fun of people with mental health issues how?

Because I used the word 'cray' or in its proper form 'crazy'.

You do know that the word 'crazy' has more than one definition right?

That really is taking the professionally offended to a whole new level.

OP posts:
Original poster
sweeterthanhoney · 30/03/2014 12:41

Not that this changes anything but why is everyone assuming it was a male colleague?

OP posts:
ADishBestEatenCold · 30/03/2014 12:41

Are you very young, sweeterthanhoney? Is it perhaps your first job after leaving school?

If so, then perhaps that was his way of telling you that generally grown ups don't speak that way in the workplace (or in life, come to that).

But no, I see you say you have been with your partner for five years, which suggests you're not a school leaver (unless you met your partner as soon as you entered senior school), so probably not very young then.

Oh dear. In that case, perhaps he was laughing at you then, not with you.

Though I have got to say that, while to me it seems a childish way to speak, if it is the way you usually speak then I'd defend your right to do so (but I would also defend his right to laugh at you, sorry).

Imnotmadeofeyes · 30/03/2014 12:42

Yes you can say what you want I suppose. If you want to look like a knob.

Grin

OP, did you say it with a faux American accent?

I wouldn't be surprised to hear it out if the mouth of a teenager. No offence to the younguns but it is a particularly knobby phase of life and they're still learning.

Anyone over the age of 22, sorry, but yes I would be inclined to make a note on their file in my head that they were a bit of a tool.

No harm no foul though - some of my best mates are probe to toolishness Grin

picnicbasketcase · 30/03/2014 12:42

So 'that shit cray' means 'that's some funny situation I'm referring to'. Not whilst pointing at a rubbish piece of seafood. You learn something new every day.

ilovesooty · 30/03/2014 12:42

Oh dear. We'll have politically correct trotted out next.

Your last post simply reinforces the impression your OP created.

WorraLiberty · 30/03/2014 12:43

I haven't assumed anything except that your colleague was cringing for you.

ilovesooty · 30/03/2014 12:45

And I assume you really don't care about the impression you make? Perhaps your colleague was trying to do you a favour.

TheScience · 30/03/2014 12:45

I think your colleague was just a bit embarrassed for you and was gently pointing out that you sounded ridiculous. Unless you actually are 15, in which case you should be forgiven and it would indeed be "cray" for you to have been in a 5 year long relationship.

Original poster
sweeterthanhoney · 30/03/2014 12:46

Oh dear. We'll have politically correct trotted out next.

Huh? Why because I said I wasn't making a joke about people who have mental health issues?

Confused
OP posts:
Nomama · 30/03/2014 12:47

I am still baffled!

Was the OP one of those predictive text errors or is it a yoof thing?

Assuming the second, OP, if I had heard you say it I would never have been able to see you the same way again. It's one of those things that reduces the perceived IQ of the speaker by quite a considerable margin, especially when said at work!

I too would defend your right to say it, but would urge you to reconsider and to separate your usual, personal self from your work self. Your co-worker was right, you should thank them for the advice.

NurseyWursey · 30/03/2014 12:47

If my friends say something cringy we all say 'never say that again' in a jokey way

Original poster
sweeterthanhoney · 30/03/2014 12:48

o 'that shit cray' means 'that's some funny situation I'm referring to'. Not whilst pointing at a rubbish piece of seafood. You learn something new every day.

It really doesn't mean that. Cray is short for crazy.

As in - "Wow I've been with my partner for 5 years, that's crazy how fast that time has gone."

OP posts:
flowery · 30/03/2014 12:50

You can say what you want, but your colleague is also entitled to say what he/she wants, which in this case was to (rightly) advise you that talking that way is probably not a brilliant idea.

EverybodysStressyEyed · 30/03/2014 12:51

I'm imagining hyacinth bucket saying it tbh

There's nothing worse than someone playing with language which isn't naturally theirs. I remember trying to do my dads accent and he took me aside and said a Home Counties accent doing northern sounds ridiculous. And he was right.

It's the staple of most comedians isn't it?

WildThong · 30/03/2014 12:52

"Wow I've been with my partner for 5 years, that's crazy how fast that time has gone."

Just say that then, it sounds so much more intelligent

KaFayOLay · 30/03/2014 12:52

Oh, I thought 'cray' was a typo.

So, is it cray fish you are referring to Confused?
Cray fish shit..what is that?

Are you v young OP?

ADishBestEatenCold · 30/03/2014 12:53

"Not that this changes anything but why is everyone assuming it was a male colleague?"

Actually, only three posts assumed it was a male colleague, my own last post included.

I don't know why the first of those assumed so (three posts in), but I do know that I read that and carried on with the 'male' assumption.
I do apologise if that was incorrect. Was it in fact a female colleague? (Just so I can be sure not to make the same mistake twice).

In any case, three posts out of thirty-odd does not make for 'everyone' ... unless you are in fact very young.

EverybodysStressyEyed · 30/03/2014 12:53

Although if this is your natural form of speech then yanbu to say it but your colleague is not being unreasonable to point out that slang in any form is not really acceptable in the workplace

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 30/03/2014 12:56

No matter how informal your workplace you generally want to maintain an impression of intelligence. Also, do you work where there are members of the public or other visitors around? It would give a really poor impression of your business if anyone from outside the company heard that.

cafecito · 30/03/2014 12:58

Firstly, your colleague sounds great to tolerate you a. talking inanely about your personal life in the office
b. to gently mock 'that shit cray' without actually telling you off, I think she probably has a sense of humour like mine and thus her laughing was her being polite and friendly while still trying to say 'what da fuck' etc

funnyossity · 30/03/2014 12:58

Perhaps you could look upon it as your colleague being refreshingly honest which is maybe far more useful than silent judgment.

cafecito · 30/03/2014 13:00

and secondly, she is completely right - don't talk like that ever in the workplace

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