Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 10 11 12 13 14 15

Original poster

to confront my friend about her husband's behaviour?

359 replies

mrsruffallo · 29/03/2014 10:37

I am having a hard time at work. Invited friend and her dh over for dinner last night and had a real moan about it. As they were leaving I thanked her for listening to me ranting and her husband leaned over me and yelled hard enough for spittle to hit my face, " next time tell someone who gives a shit!". They then left, whilst I attempted to laugh it off. I really want to ring her this morning but another part of me just wants to wash her hands of the whole situation.

OP posts:

caruthers · 30/03/2014 12:20

To be honest it doesn't look like he'll come again because he doesn't sound like he's want to.

So it's a move on and put it down to experience.

mrsruffallo · 30/03/2014 12:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster

mrsruffallo · 30/03/2014 12:28

LOL It is baffling. I didn't post ' I am worried that I was so boring it drove friends dh to screaming He was wrong, vile and unpleasant. I was just wondering whether to confront her or leave it. Thanks for the insightful posts anyway.

DH's stance was 'we don't see him much, and don't need to see him again. so don't confront your friend, she is a nice person'. He wasn't condoning the behaviour.

OP posts:

flippinada · 30/03/2014 12:28

Have a lovely day mrsm

Original poster

mrsruffallo · 30/03/2014 12:31

You too flip!

OP posts:

Buckteethjeff · 30/03/2014 12:39

How do you know your work problems aren't boring? Dp work talk bores me to tears!

My 'ex' friend used to do this, me fir a night out and it was really just for me to cheer her up and off load on me. It was like a fuckng monologue. I started avoiding her after.

If you felt intimidated or scared, tell your friend. Or if it's just your pissed off that he wasn't caught up in your angst, leave it.

Tbh I think he was joking.

winkywinkola · 30/03/2014 12:54

Yelling in someone's face = joking?

Right. Okay. What fun. What a knobber. And anyone who think it's okay to do that is also a knobber

waltermittymissus · 30/03/2014 14:22

I think ultimately your dh is right.

But if the idea of socialising with him comes up again I would refuse.

If pressed, I would say why!

yegodsandlittlefishes · 30/03/2014 14:26

Thanks for the clarification on what your husband said, op. Have a nice day and waste no more time thinkimg about last night's nasty fool.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 30/03/2014 14:40

Baffling that apparently conversations (& therefore relationships) must be based strictly on entertainment value.

Fail to entertain an unpleasant and self centred man who has been provided with great food and other people to talk to - and my goodness, you better feel guilty for your social transgression!

Having bored this man you now deserve a pile-on here about how bloody boring you are and how much you deserved someone shouting in your face! Reasonable huh?

This is why people get frozen out for being 'boring' when a death or tragedy gets in the way. I find it disgusting.

WottaTheOdds · 30/03/2014 16:15

Having bored this man you now deserve a pile-on here about how bloody boring you are and how much you deserved someone shouting in your face! Reasonable huh?

Sheeeeesh!

YouTheCat · 30/03/2014 16:25

Wotta, I thought you 'were done here' a few pages back?

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 30/03/2014 16:31

I'm with YNK. I think the friend hasn't yet noticed he's begun isolating her. It's a relationship going south fast.

Analyse them first.

WottaTheOdds · 30/03/2014 16:33

Wotta, I thought you 'were done here' a few pages back?

So I did. What am I like??????? Too full of lovely MD lunch, flowers and bonhomie to remember this morning! But I think I may have made reference to the fact that people can get piqued into coming back out of sheer frustration at having their words turned on their heads again and again.

However I will be sure to ask your permission before coming back again.

WottaTheOdds · 30/03/2014 16:35

Sorry Cat just checked. It was Bear who was done. I was out. Get it right!!!!

YouTheCat · 30/03/2014 16:37

Oops

Ilovexmastime · 30/03/2014 18:04

I wonder if he's also 'joking' when he calls his DD's friend's cunts?

I don't think you were being boring from the sounds of things OP, in fact I'm dying to know what your 'shocking' work probkem is... maybe you could start another thread on that?!

Bearbehind · 30/03/2014 22:43

I did stay away from this today but just wanted to thank wotta for her comments- I couldn't have said better- it is so frustrating to have my comments twisted on one hand whilst other people can jump to ridiculous conclusions based on minimal facts.

Having bored this man you now deserve a pile-on here about how bloody boring you are and how much you deserved someone shouting in your face!

Please point out exactly where I or anyone defended his actions.

winkywinkola · 30/03/2014 22:51

Bearbehind, sometimes I wonder if some posters did English comprehension at school.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 30/03/2014 23:13

The more you post OP, the more it sounds like you were the rude one.

You can't categorically state 'your work problem is not boring' to other people. He obviously thought it was and your friend didn't disagree.

You've said yourself you would tell someone if they were being tedious, that's all he's done- ok, you felt he was aggressive but there isn't a really nice way of doing it.

^ You posted that yesterday, Bearbehind.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 30/03/2014 23:21

I'm afraid I didn't read anyone's names or take notes through this 11 page thread, I didn't really think it merited such attention to detail - so my post wasn't aimed at anyone in particular, but to the OP on the overall and accumulative tone of the thread.

If you want to take it personally that's your perogative but in no way my motivation :)

BlueSkySunnyDay · 30/03/2014 23:30

I find there are two kinds of friends - party friends and real friends. The first are fun aqaintence/friendships and the second are people who are with you through both the fun times and bad times.

It sounds to me like this couple and perhaps bear and wanna just want to skim the shallows of friendship, which I guess is their perogative. I really don't understand how they came to their conclusions regarding how interesting this conversation was. I have often listened to friends discussing work, if I were bored id say "ok thats enough of work, let's lets discuss...." adults who are real friends can do that.

Even if the op had been listing the shoe size of every employee it would still not excuse shouting in her face. I find it both odd and disturburbing that anyone would cite being boring as justification for such appallingly rude behaviour.

BuggersMuddle · 31/03/2014 00:21

He was rude.

I have friends who on occasion bore and I have I am sure know that I have on occasion bored. We are quite upfront with each other if someone is ranting at the time

He was rude. It doesn't matter if you were the most boring person on the planet, he was still rude. He should have excused himself if it was that awful. (I am assuming you weren't embarrassingly drunk btw).

Been out plenty of times with friends where a group will split off into multiple conversations. DP is an engineer and a camera geek. Many of my friends are in similar professions so when it all get's a bit techie we'll often talk about something else. No biggie. He's networking with his peers who are my friends and if they spend 20-30 mins discussing something the rest of us can surely converse about something else... It's not always DP though, we have several tech specialists in out regular group, so as often as not DP is bowing out while others are talking about it security or similar.

RandomInternetStranger · 31/03/2014 00:29

Hmmmm. On the one hand if you say something you could ruin a good friendship and is it worth it, on the other I would have had to say something, I couldn't let that go. I would either have said something there and then or I would be all passive aggressive, store it up and make some sarky comment in 6 months time when the opportunity presents itself - not sure either would be a good idea but I rarely have those!

AchyFox · 31/03/2014 00:56

Any contact from your friend ?

Flip

1 2 ··· 10 11 12 13 14 15