About Ds Teacher wanting to call him something else ?

[CrazyHhas5kitties]

So Ds 5 has come home from school a little bit upset & after asking bribing him to tell me what's wrong I'm unsure how to deal/react to it .

Right so for the sake of keeping my anonimity (sp) I have changed the names .

So Ds is called Tom & has a class mate called Thomas from what I can gather Thomas' mum has told their Teacher that Thomas must now be called Tom so the Teacher has told Ds that he must be called Thomas so everybody doesn't get confused

Ds said 'but that's not my name' but apparently that's how it has to be because everybody can't be confused by two children with the same name , even though Tom is what's on my Ds birth certificate not Thomas

So if I haven't lost/confused you all what should I do about this ?

I will be seeing the Teacher Monday so I will say something I'm just unsure of what to say

Weird thing for a teacher to try to change someone's name...

There were two boys in my secondary school with the same full name, first, middle and last, ie both John David Smith. They were both the same height and had the same colouring so they couldn't even be known as Tall John Smith or Blond John Smith or anything like that. In subjects we were streamed in they were always in the same classes, so the teachers had to name them by their forms, ie John Smith 9B and John Smith 9E.

Reminds me of one of my a level classes-15 of us , 3 sarahs, 2 catherines, 2 joannes, 1 joanna and the identical twin of one of the sarahs! Could get very confusing!

Teacher sounds odd. How would she have coped in the eighties? There were three Rachels, two Nicolas, four Victorias and five Rebeccas in my class alone at primary school!

What on earth is that teacher thinking!? I used to be a teacher - all reports, etc, were supposed to be in the "official" name of the child but all other communications were whatever the child wanted to be known as. More than one, then they get their surname initial tagged on the end!

My DS is Alexander on his birth certificate but is known as Alex. He can choose whichever shortened version (or not!) he wants as he grows up.

I also know 3 Xanders, all of whom are officially Alexander on the birth certificate.

Either way, the teacher should not be making up random names to give your son and I would be writing to the HT!

When I was doing my O levels (old gimmer :o) there were 5 Sarahs just in my maths class!

If the teacher can't cope with two children with the same name, I'd suggest she really isn't fit to teach frankly.

I have a similar problem (and I'm one of the hated on mumsnet!)

I named my child (not real name) Rebecca but call her Beckie. Since birth she has been Beckie. When she started nursery I used the 'known as' box and put Beckie. I know the formal stuff will be Rebecca as that's her name, but on the first day of nursery she came out in tears because they 'kept saying Rebecca and I don't know who Rebecca is!'

I've taught her to say 'I'm not rebecca I'm Beckie!' She was very good at writing her name and knowing what the letters looked like, but they are insisting she has to write rebecca and not Beckie and now she's struggling and getting very upset. it wouldn't be so bad but there are 3 other Rebecca's in the class and not one of them go by Beckie.

Op I hope you get it sorted soon, love Xandur btw.

Sorry op, I didn't mean to imply that your Ds name is not a stand alone name in your culture or anything, simply that it is an common accepted form of Alexander here and although the teacher cannot possibly tell you what to call Ds, its understandable she made the presumption albeit wrongly.

I don't see the big deal in having more than one Xander in a class, its a fab name!

If the teacher is still looking for a shortened version of Alexander to keep the other woman happy I've got a suggestion.

We lived in Russia for a few years and Alexander is a very common name there as well. The usual shortened form is Sasha.

I don't think the child's name is Xandur, I think that was an example by someone else.

Oh my goodness. Appalling. Get that letter to the head today op

There are 5 Alexanders in my son's year - they go by Alex B, Alex J, Sandy, Xander and Aleksi.

Somehow they all cope.

Doctrine The example was Tom - the actual name is Xandur.

I used to be form tutor to a girl called Rachael and there were a couple of members of staff who insisted on spelling her name Rachel; despite it being clearly spelled correctly at the top of reports etc, in comment boxes they would always spell it wrong. As her tutor it was my job to proofread reports and I'd always point it out and they'd have to change it. One of them did it several terms in a row and eventually exploded that it wasn't his fault if her parents insisted on being so pretentious

But I suppose on the bright side at least it was written down, not said aloud, and at least he didn't say it to her parents like this idiot teacher has done!

It's so mountain out of a molehill.

There is a Xandur in the class.

Now another wants to be known as Xander.

There should be no effect on Xandur at all!

You are right, I totally missed a page

My son's name can be spelled two different ways and it is often spelled wrong. Even by one of my siblings

Then again I realised recently that he doesn't actually know how to pronounce his middle name (it's Welsh) so that's probably the least of our problems :o

If the teacher is still looking for a shortened version of Alexander to keep the other woman happy I've got a suggestion.

Yes, but she'd want to use it for the OPs son :o

I bet the other boy/mother only wants Xander because he's heard the OPs son called it.

Glad you're sending the letter OP. I'd be unable to let it lie after such infuriating response to your complaint.

Find it very odd, cliquey and unprofessional behaviour on the part of the teacher.

I can only assume that the fact the teacher is friends with the other parent is why she has decided to make other boy's name change your problem. Helps her friend, tries to foist the consequences onto you. Half the time it will be obvious which child she is talking to anyway. For those occasions when it isn't, she can just add the surname, in full or by initial, to differentiate.

Unfortunately, the fact that she hasn't opted to do this makes me wonder whether the other mother is agitating behind the scenes in some way. So I think sending a letter to her and the Head is a very good idea.

Reading all this has reminded me of the time DD's head teacher asked her what she liked to be called:

HT: "So Elizabeth, what do you like to be called? Is it Elizabeth, or maybe Lizzie or Beth? What do you get called at home?"

DD: "Butthead."

She then started laughing and the HT laughed as well thank God.

On a tangent, friend of ds has an unusual name, completely contextual for family. DS calls him this without bother. The mother calls him the equivalent of 'sweetums' in the playground. He is seven. I think that if she doesn't stop calling him sweetums the poor lad is going to get his head kicked in.

The most annoying bit is Ds name is not Common or even very well heard of & is a completely different name to his Class Mate

Eh? So is his class mate's name the longer version of your DS's name, or is it a completely different name?

e.g. Your Son is Tom, class mate is called Jack, but his mother has decided to call him Tom from now on, so your DS has to become Thomas..???

The names were given

OPs DS is Xandur
other by is Alexander.