To tell Dh it is not ok to leave 10yr old ds and 6 yr old dd alone in the house?

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Dh is making me feel that I'm making a mountain out of a molehill but I came back from work today (later than usual as had a meeting) to find Dh in the car on the drive about to take ds2 to beavers.

He was going to leave ds1 and dd1 in the house while he dropped ds2 off! They are only 10 and 6.

Dh says they were both settled watching tv and he would only have been gone for 5mins.

However I am appalled and feel shocked that he has considered doing this. I'm really upset and feel cross but can't be cross as Dh is making out that I'm over reacting.

Am I?

I see, looking back, that you have completely nutty parents to deal with, notso! Perhaps that is why the school is over protective.

From my experience as a parent, nursery nurse and TA there is often one or two over protective parents in a year group. Some of them have good reason for this based on past experience. It is just unfortunate that in DS1's year they are the majority and are very involved at school as are SAHMs.

"10 yr would be fine but 6 is way too young to be unsupervised. Its not fair to put the responsibility onto another child should there be an emergency.

Our school only releases year 6 children without an adult after school so age 10 is when they believe they are mature enough to be left alone and given their experience it seems a good place to start."

Yet in so many countries in most of Europe children are allowed to walk home from school from age 6 (which is usually when they start school, having been to Kindergarten before that)... and in fact parents are very actively discouraged from collecting their children, in booklets given out to parents of school starters and at parents information evenings. Our primary emphasises that children benefit from the independence, the time with their peers (as most awalk in groups) and that it is part of the gradual process of growing up and becoming responsible for themselves, which should be taking place in all areas of their life, not just school work.

Surely there is nothing intrinsically incompetent about British under 10s (my kids are half British and seem to have managed to be as responsible and independent as their German peers) ... so why do they become capable of the same things 4 years later I wonder....

I'm in the same situation MrTumble, but living in the UK. Sometimes it's been quite a tricky discussion with half-foreign dc, trying to explain exactly why they'd be considered safe enough to go to the beach on their own while on holiday with their cosins but not safe enough to be alone in the house with a friend while at home, or why they have to remember not to make a cup of tea with their friend because the friend might not be allowed to use the kettle.

Apparently our local secondary school has stopped doing foreign language exchange trips to France because the parents won't allow their children to stay with French families. What a lost opportunity.

Depends on the children as others have said.

I'd leave my 8 y/o with my 13 y/o a few years ago but not with my 12 y/o.

12 y/o I'd leave alone for a short time on his own but not to be responsible for 8y/o.

2 out of 30 are going on the residential?!? Poor children... how weird is it going to be for the 2 who are going?

op - I think the problem here was that you hadn't discussed it and agreed beforehand? We have just started to leave 9 year old dd alone for 10 mins but having discussed all sorts of possible scenarios, phone use etc. DS who is 6 is not happy to be left (and I wouldn't feel he is ready so that solves that one).
We have been talking about it as a family for a while but just started to leave her alone when dh, me and dd were all happy.

i think YABVVVVVU op. the eldest will be starting secondary school soon and he can't be left alone for 5 minutes???