Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aarrgghh Bloody Kids <<fumes>>

104 replies

LtEveDallas · 22/03/2014 15:24

DD (8) has a friend over today.

So far they have smashed the glass shelf in the bathroom, shouted "fart" and "poo" out the window at the next door neighbour and pulled the towel rail off the wall in the downstairs loo.

But the crowning glory was the decision to jump off the garden table onto the giant outdoor beanbag, splitting it and making me have to spend the last hour chasing round the garden trying to get as many polystyrene balls as possible.

I'm furious. DD has NEVER been like this. I am SO pissed off with her.

Two hours till the friend goes home and I can't even have a beer.

AARRGGHHH Angry

OP posts:
Original poster
LtEveDallas · 22/03/2014 15:25

Oh, the AIBU

AIBU to say "NO WAY NEVER AGAIN" - it's DDs birthday next weekend, she was supposed to be having a cinema & sleepover with 2 friends. AIBU to cancel?

OP posts:
MrsDavidBowie · 22/03/2014 15:26

I would be phoning mother of child to collect asap and sitting them both in separate rooms with nothing to do but reflect on their behaviour. After they have picked up the beanbag stuff.

PumpkinPie2013 · 22/03/2014 15:28

Goodness me YANBU - I'd be furious too!!!

What is her friend usually like?

Can you take friend home early? I'd be having very strong words and no friends round next week (or indeed for a good while) birthday or no birthday!

YouStayClassySanDiego · 22/03/2014 15:31

Bloody hell Eve that's appalling.

Not sure I'd cancel the birthday treat but I would be getting the friend picked up asap and disciplining my own child by whatever means make her realise that actions have consequences.

Original poster
LtEveDallas · 22/03/2014 15:31

Mother was going to the pub to watch the footie. I've got to drive kid home, hence no beer for me.

Can't get any more of the balls. Bloody garden looks like it's been snowing (it's really windy here today). DH has had a go with the garden leaf vac thing, but it won't work.

I'm worried for the birds/wildlife. Will it harm them? You can't recycle polystyrene can you? Wonder why not.

OP posts:
Original poster
LtEveDallas · 22/03/2014 15:45

I don't really know this friend. She's new to the school and DD has been playing with her for a couple of months. I didn't like her at first from things DD said, but as ever with kids, within weeks they became friends.

I don't want to blame her, DD is equally at fault, but we've NEVER had this sort of play from other friends.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 22/03/2014 15:49

Why are3n't the girls cleaning up the polystyrene?

Finola1step · 22/03/2014 15:53

The girls need to be sorting out the garden.

Do not have this girl over again. Your dd can choose who she wants to play with at school, but you do not have to tolerate such behaviour from either of them in your own home.

As for the sleepover, I would let it happen after some very strong words and contrition from dd.

LeBearPolar · 22/03/2014 15:59

I maybe wouldn't cancel the birthday plans but I would identify some appropriate consequences for her actions today, so:

DD and friend spending the rest of the afternoon clearing up the polystyrene.
Cost of fixing glass shelf and towel rail out of DD's pocket money.
DD and friend writing a note of apology for rudeness to neighbour.

Original poster
LtEveDallas · 22/03/2014 16:14

FFS. We've just had water tipped down the stairs.

I've blown. Shouted at them both - one more peep out of them and friend goes home early, DD goes to bed.

I don't fucking believe this. I don't think I can have this girl here again, whether it's her fault or not, DD is obviously horrible around her. We've never had any issues with other friends - the worst was just frustration at a fussy eater. I actually miss that one.

DD will def get punished once friend has gone - should I say something to mother? I don't know her, met her for the first time on Fri. She has text twice since friend has been here (since 10) but both times I said they were OK. At that stage only the shelf had broken and I assumed it was an accident.

OP posts:
CiderwithBuda · 22/03/2014 16:46

I would text the mother and say that they are obv not good together so you will be dropping her home early.

And I would make them pick up the polystyrene.

It sounds a nightmare.

StinkyElfCheese · 22/03/2014 16:55

We have also had the new neighbours 8yr old dd round.....my good its been hard work theres shouting tears, storming off sillyness, silly words making up ryhmes, raiding the cubords drawers and fridge..... we had enough and sent them of to her house to play for a bit

CorrieDale · 22/03/2014 16:57

Blimey! You are a saint! I'd have had that child home after the beanbag incident, and my child would be going to bed early after doing a long list of chores. I'd be reluctant to cancel the birthday treat but, by golly, she'd have to put some work in to earn it. Starting with mending the beanbag. And paying for the shelf from her birthday money.

WorraLiberty · 22/03/2014 17:00

Jesus I'd have them on the couch now in front of the TV and tell them not to move

Yes, tell the mother absolutely everything

007licencetostandonamolehill · 22/03/2014 17:02

Take the child to the pub and return her to her mum. Explain its been a very hard play date and apologise for the early return.

LaGuardia · 22/03/2014 17:03

What were you doing when they were wrecking the house and abusing the neighbours? Do you live in one of the mansions in Hampstead?

Mintymoomoo · 22/03/2014 17:10

Why are you in the garden picking up the balls?? They should be doing it! I agree with other poster I would be telephoning the parent to come and collect and explain to her what has been going on, I would also be cancelling the sleepover as a punishment

Littlefish · 22/03/2014 17:10

Text the mother. Tell her that things are to going well and you need to bring her daughter back now. Then tell her face to face what has happened.

Until you hear back from her, put the girls in the same room as you with some pens and paper and nothing else. Have an incredibly firm word with them both about how completely unacceptable this behavior is.

Do not put up with any more of this.

Littlefish · 22/03/2014 17:11

not going well

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 22/03/2014 17:15

Bloody hell Eve are they possessed or something??

Definitely tell the mum. I'd want to know.

MomOfTwoGirls2 · 22/03/2014 17:21

There would be serious consequences for that behaviour in our house. If it was me I could cancel sleepover and stick to cinema, with perhaps pizza afterwards. And I would NEVER have that other child in the house again, or allow my child to their house.

TheNewSchmoo · 22/03/2014 17:21

Well it seems like there is no consequence for their appalling behaviour, so they are continuing to run riot.

I world have taken the child home after the second incident when it became clear that the first want an accident.

Is DH just merrily standing by and allowing this too?

TheNewSchmoo · 22/03/2014 17:21

*Wasn't

bebows · 22/03/2014 17:26

Maybe get off the internet and supervise

I know it's radical and a bit shocking but needs must :)

PunkrockerGirl · 22/03/2014 18:57

They are 8 not 2. I think OP could reasonably expect them to play nicely without constant supervision.