to send home this boy's treats?

[manicinsomniac]

A child in my class had a birthday today. They brought in treats to give to the class but said that they didn't want X to have one as 'we don't get on and aren't really friends.'

Stupidly, I said 'No, sorry, you have to share with everybody in the class or else you'll have to take them home and nobody gets one ' I thought a threat like that would instantly make the child say they would share. It didn't, they said 'ok, I'll take them home'. So I had no choice but to follow through with it and the treats are still in my desk drawer!

Now I am terrified of facing this child's mum at home time and admitting what I did. I have 10 minutes! She has wasted her money now.

As a parent would you be angry at me or your child?

I'm also worried that the child the birthday child wanted to leave out will get the blame from the class for nobody getting treats rather than the birthday boy.

You did the right thing. Absolutely. You had no choice really, you cannot allow one child to be left out so what you did seems like your only option.

Hello child's mum if you're out there!
Your son put his teacher in a difficult position with his behaviour, and she handled it reasonably. It's your son you should be blaming, not her.

GOOD Lord 10/11? When I first read this I assumed u were talking about 5/6 yr olds. I'd have been mortified if it was my son. You did the right thing.

I would have been so embarrassed had my dd behaved like that. Can't believe the mother had the cheek to tell you you handled it badly She should have been backing you up and ensuring her dc apologised.
I thought you were speaking of a 5/6 year old, at 10/11 you would hope they knew better.

At that age group I would not let there be a second chance for treats.

I also thought you were talking about a year 1/2 child.

Is he generally like this?

I think the mother was cheeky as well. I also think that if you'd said your mother sent them for everyone then the kid may well have said that no she didn't, she said that he could choose, and you'd have had a stand-off. You handled it really well. Enjoy your weekend.

I think you handled it very well. At age 10/11, attempting to exclude a child in this way is bullying. I would expect any teacher to do the same as you did. I would be very ashamed if this had been mine child.

If you'd not made an issue out of it then perhaps the child wouldn't have been taught such a lesson. You did the right thing, brushing over it by giving them out to all anyway wouldn't have made such a statement.

A child of that age is pushing their luck thinking a teacher would condone such bad behavior.

I think the childs got some balls to say that to the teacher.. he must have known its unkind and would not have been allowed!

I bet his mum never makes an issue of anything either, and that that's why the lad didn't twig that what he was asking you to do was totalky unreasonable and ungracious.

I would have supported you wholeheartedly if I was the mum and my son is 7. Tbh I wouldn't have the brass neck to criticise you at all I'd have been mortified that my son was being so horrible, especially if he was 10/11 and he wouldn't be getting a second chance either. He chose not to give them out, nobody else.

IMO it's not the teacher's job to hand out a child's birthday treats.

I teach 10/11 year olds and this is exactly what I would have done. Do not feel bad in any way.

Mum has a cheek suggesting you handled it badly. I imagine she sensed you were a bit unsure and pounced. Ignore, ignore, ignore!

I think you handled it well but I do have a little bit of understanding for the birthday boy.
When my dd1 was 6 a boy in her class bit her on the arm, it broke the skin and she was so upset for ages. It happened to be her birthday a few days later and she was so aggrieved at having to give this boy a lolly. She had a huge bruise on her swollen arm . TBH I didn't really want him to have one either but as the adult I knew it was the only thing to do. dd1 is almost an adult now and still remembers how angry she felt when she handed him his lolly, she confesses she had horrible thoughts!!

You did the right thing. I would have been mortified if any of my dc had done this.

You handled it just fine. At 10/11 they are way old enough to know better. The mums remark was uncalled for, you reacted to a situation as you saw fit.

It is not for the mum to tell you how to handle a matter of discipline (bullying) in your classroom.

Your school presumably has a policy about teaching the pupils about bullying and it is your job to let children know when their behaviour is unacceptable.

Am I the only one who thinks it seems rather weird to have the parents of great big 10/11yos expecting teacher to hand out birthday treats in the classroom? Why can't the ds pop round to his mates' houses with a treat after school if that's what he fancies doing? How is she going to cope with secondary school?

I agree cory. Even at First school (YearsR-4) the child stood outside the classroom door and gave each child a chocolate or whatever on the way out.
same as giving the teacher invitations to dish out. Not their job.

Bloody Hell, I too thought that the child in question was a much younger age.
That's awful behaviour, the mum's reaction doesn't come as much of a surprise now to be honest.

You didn't handle it badly at all op. You said and did the right thing and the parents are out of order to lay some of the blame at your door. It's the parents fault as it was their child who was being mean to not include someone just because they have fallen out with them. I would keep an eye on that if I were you.

Wow, I read this thinking you meant 5/6 year olds too.

You definitely did the right thing.
I'm shocked at the mother saying you handled it badly.
Is her son a PFB...

Age 10 - 11?

You did the right thing. And you have enough to deal with teaching bloody SATs without handing out treats. Not your job and the parents should have supported you better.