To wonder why friends think you'd want to pay £500 each for a weekend to celebrate their birthday?

[Birthdayquery]

NC for this.

I've been pondering this for a while now.

Most of my friends are the same age and over the next few months we'll all turn 40.

One friend has planned a weekend away for her birthday which will cost £500 per person (not clear if it's a girly weekend or couples as she is single).

This isn't a joint celebration thing as she is inviting a lot of people outside of our circle iykswim.

Is it only me that thinks a birthday with a zero on the end is really just another birthday and if we all expected each other to fork out a grand per couple to celebrate each one we'd all be skint

YANBU at all - I was asked to a 50th which would have cost pretty much the same - but the birthday person was paying for 1 dinner. I declined and sent her a card.

You said you weren't in the minority with your views. And "your views" include being annoyed about being invited. Hence my post!

If you meant your views that it was too expensive and far away, well, I think more people on the thread agreed with that than with the idea that the invite was rude in itself.

I did mean the latter garthsuncle.

My feeling of annoyance may have been unjustified but I still think it was unreasonable for one person in a group if friends who are celebrating the same event with a few months of each other to expect such a disproportionate and indulgent amount to be spent celebrating only their birthday.

Whether the rest of the group thought it was unreasonable or whatever, doesn't matter as they aren't prepared to do it either.

So... What are you going to do for your birthday?!

We'll be on holiday for my actual birthday and then maybe a meal with friends and family either before or after it.

On holiday!! I hope you're paying for it. DH isn't being expected to chip in is he? Not for your birthday?

Some people are really being unnecessarily provocative on this thread.

We always go on holiday around the same time of year due to work commitments, it just happens to be around my birthday.

And I hardly think DH and I chosing to go on holiday is the same as the situation I described but if you feel the need to continue to make snide digs then carry on.

My feeling of annoyance may have been unjustified....

Hooray. Well done for admitting it at last, OP.

...and some people are joking. I did a winky face and everything!

Maybe lighten up a bit?

Maybe you have what I sometimes do and feel all cross and riled about something then wake up the next morning and wonder why you were so upset?

I wouldn't want to decline by saying "I can't afford it". I don't discuss money with my friends or make comparisons about what I/they can afford. I would make some other excuse.