My partner told friends that she has had 110 partners last night

[Plutorover]

My partner of 7 years who is 40 told some friends that she had slept with approximately 110 men in the past. I did know this, but feel angry that she decided to tell others. It was at a school reunion do that I was not at. The question was specifically asked in a finding out game. I don't understand why she didn't tell them to mind their own business or lie.

She has hinted at it before to my brother too. May have actually told him but I'm unsure.

Why would she do this? Am I wrong to feel aggrieved about this?
Thanks
Confused and angry bloke

Agree 100% with sillylass.

"I would no doubt think him a pillock for playing stupid games, but I wouldn't say oh my god, how could you tell people the truth, why didn't you lie oh my god what will people think?"

You're missing the point. It's not the number, it's what it tells you about the person.

What does it tell you about the person?

Because the only thing it tells me about them is that they have slept with 110 people and they don't give a shit about that.

and that they play ridiculous truth games.

whereas I am told a lot more about the person who wants them to lie to protect The Secret.

whereas I am told a lot more about the person who wants them to lie to protect The Secret.

Oh for gods sake. Any normal, civilized adult would be appalled at their partner drunkenly disclosing how many people they had shagged at a party. She's 40. She's a mother. It's really not on.

I wouldnt judge a woman on the number of sexual partners she's had - who cares. I dislike people who are indiscreet though. I suspect the OPs partner suffers low self-esteem hence the need to blab about her sexual history publicly. & also that she doesn't like him.

He hasn't shown himself to be super likeable to be fair...

We have different views on that. Last time I checked, that was actually ok.

I am managing to express my view without making silly exclamations at people who dare to see it differently, what is wrong with you that you can't do the same and you have to get personally cross at another poster for having a view you disagree with?

Whether you feel it is 'on' or not, I couldn't care less. Whether you feel that when someone is a mother, they should hold themselves to a higher standard, again, not one single fuck is given by me.

I have already said, many times, that I personally think that the truth game was ridiculous. That I would tell people to mind their own business.

My point. General. On the thread. Is about the OPs view that she ought to have lied. Lied. I agreed with him and said so that truth games at the age of 40 are pretty tragic.

I disagree that she had a duty to lie about the number because People Will Talk.

anyway, I've wasted two days of my life on this crock of shit, so I'll leave you to form your scathing and frothing reply.

The thought of you replying to me and me having hidden the thread will keep me slightly amused as I tackle the ironing pile.

I dunno derek.. your ipod made me chuckle

Why is it not ok for op to feel uncomfortable about this?

I would not be indiscreet about my private life during an immature game and i certainly wouldn't be divulging information to my in laws about my past experiences.

There are two ways to look at it, op's wife sowed her wild oats had a good time (or not), found Mr right settled down, it's all in the past.

Or, Op's wife was a reckless and promiscuous attention seeker who jumped in bed with anyone she fancied before finally settling on op, but then went on telling people about her past once married...as if perhaps to indicate how wild she was or how much she misses it.

Surely op's entitled to feel how he does?

YANBU

Women always halve their real number.

Something to mull on.

I dunno why people feel compelled to tell the truth when playing stupid drinking games. You're not in a court of law, people!

Its like those numptys who get 'nek-nominations'. "Ooh, I have to drink a pint of vodka."
Er, no you don't.

220? That is going some.

And I would say that if it were a man or a woman.

YABU. Why do you care? I wouldn't care if my partner had slept with that many women.

I'm not keen on all these rules about what you should not tell people either. She didn't brag, she was asked. Why should she lie? Out of SHAME perhaps?

Agree that games are stupid though.

It shouldn't matter how many sexual partners someone has had. Unfortunately in the real world, people still judge women in particular. They shouldn't, but they do. I can understand why the OP feels uncomfortable at the thought of his wife's sexual past being discussed down the village pub even while deploring the fact that it might happen because it is still seen as unacceptable and a subject for gossip for women to have had multiple sexual partners.

I would have more sympathy for the OP if he hadn't been such a huge PA disrespectful hypocrite as to post the information - which he would apparently rather keep private - on a public forum without his wife's knowledge. I think he needs to take a long honest look at himself, his motives for starting this thread and his issues with her past because I don't believe that he is truly fine with it. Methinks he do protest too much.

I have respect for the OP's wife if she told her school friends the number because she genuinely believes there is nothing wrong in having been sexually active in the past. If it was done out of a desire to seek attention or hoping to shock, then she needs to grow up a little.

I don't halve my number thanks all the same Marmalade CBA with that shit.

And even if it is 220 - IT DOESN'T MATTER!

Thanks sillylass79 but I have a confession to make....I'm in my late 20s and still don't like to hear this kind of talk, well at least not in public anyway. Maybe I am a prude after all hahaha .

*and I just re-read my post. I meant to put I wouldn't dream of discussing my intimate life with anyone who wasn't my dp or a close friend....d'oh!

I think people often blurt out the truth when put on the spot - who knows what spirit the OP's wife divulged this information in? School reunions are famously psychologically weird affairs, full of people re-encountering teenage friends, former bullies, past selves, and there's a lot of remembered misery, showing off, and silliness. It's perfectly possible that, while the OP knows the information to be true, no one who heard his wife at the reunion believed her for a moment, especially if it was in the context of a silly drunken game, where everyone tells all kinds of lies.

I think she is entirely entitled to divulge personal information on her sexual past as she sees fit, and deal with the consequences, if any.

Also, could someone enlighten me on what the correct number of sexual partners for someone to have had before entering into a serious relationship and marriage at 33? Two? Five? Twenty? Fifty?

I ask because I got together with my partner in my late teens, and have been monogamous since, so I've had very few sexual partners - something which has attracted criticism from virtual strangers. And no, I didn't discuss my sexual past with my colleagues or at dinner parties, but once some people realised how long we had been a couple, there were acid little remarks about it being a shame, and inexperience, and committing too young etc.

Fortunately, I am an extremely forthright person, so they retired crushed, but would be interested to know what an acceptable number might be...

The right number Burren?

More than the Queen, less than Lady Di it would seem