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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My partner told friends that she has had 110 partners last night

526 replies

Plutorover · 02/03/2014 09:47

My partner of 7 years who is 40 told some friends that she had slept with approximately 110 men in the past. I did know this, but feel angry that she decided to tell others. It was at a school reunion do that I was not at. The question was specifically asked in a finding out game. I don't understand why she didn't tell them to mind their own business or lie.

She has hinted at it before to my brother too. May have actually told him but I'm unsure.

Why would she do this? Am I wrong to feel aggrieved about this?
Thanks
Confused and angry bloke

OP posts:
motherinferior · 02/03/2014 20:50

You're right; she's had a wide range of sex. Again with the who cares.

Coldlightofday · 02/03/2014 20:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shakinstevenslovechild · 02/03/2014 20:54

I very much doubt it's the 'spreading stuff which might give rise to gossip' the op is bothered about.

People would be far more likely to talk about it if the op had been her one and only because that is more unusual than having multiple partners, but I very much doubt he would be complaining about that and encouraging her to lie about it I also bet he would have told his brother himself if that were the case.

Jengnr · 02/03/2014 20:54

You're another madonna/whore type eh troglodad

Nice!

JohnFarleysRuskin · 02/03/2014 20:56

Ops wife was wrong to go to a school reunion.

Terrible idea.

frumpet · 02/03/2014 20:56

Right i am getting it now , so there is good sex and bad sex , good being within the bounds of a long term relationship and bad anything else .

blessedhope · 02/03/2014 20:57

OP's partner is definitely in the sexually over-experienced category. Shock

Daykin · 02/03/2014 20:58

She's not 'spreading stuff'. She was asked a question and she answered it.

Jengnr · 02/03/2014 20:58

No frumpet

It's only bad if you dare to talk about it

Troglodad · 02/03/2014 20:58

It's always possible mumsnet is rubbing off on me a bit, as a touch of friendly megalomania about "DPs intentions" seems par for the course in these here foothills. If so that would be my fault, for which I unreservedly fail to apologise. :)

waltermittymissus · 02/03/2014 21:05

*No frumpet

It's only bad if you dare to talk about it*

If you're a woman...

Coldlightofday · 02/03/2014 21:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jengnr · 02/03/2014 21:09

Apologies waltermittymissus you are absolutely right.

VivianStanshall · 02/03/2014 21:29

Very funny Smile

Not being Tiresias I cannot claim experience of both sides but I would be unhappy about my sister going out with a man who had had 110 partners so no double standards from me.

RafflesWay · 02/03/2014 21:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fairenuff · 02/03/2014 21:36

The thing is, if OP had been honest with her in the first place and told her he found it, I don't know distasteful, embarrassing, cheap, whatever, she probably would have lied or refused to answer.

But because she was ok with it and she thought he was ok with it, there was no reason to hide/avoid the truth.

Then again, if he had been truthful from the start she might have shown him the door and moved on. In fact, that might explain how she got to 110. Each man judged her previous number, so it was simply a matter of 'Next'.

They do say you have to shag kiss a lot of frogs...

Troglodad · 02/03/2014 21:43

I think it is disingenuous to suggest I ever made an excuse for anything in any way, or said I didn't believe what I said. I think explicitly failing to apologise should be enough for anyone to understand that ;)

MsBehave · 02/03/2014 21:44

Just joined and flicking through a few threads here.
My take on this?

  1. Attention seeking.
  2. Goading you.
  3. She's a good time girl.

Does she know you don't like her telling people? If so, could she be using this as a bit of a tactic to wind you up for perceived wrongdoings/revenge tactics?

AnyFuckerHQ · 02/03/2014 21:57

oh dear, where has OP gone ?

K8Middleton · 02/03/2014 21:59

She's probably fucked off because you were all such cockwombles.

I hope you're happy now!

K8Middleton · 02/03/2014 22:00

Oh bollocks! Wrong thread!

Fairenuff · 02/03/2014 22:01

OP is a he not a she.

Fairenuff · 02/03/2014 22:02

Ah, that makes more sense K8 Grin

LondonNicki · 02/03/2014 22:05

Harsh people...

Look at it from his point of view. If I was at a reunion with a husband who boasted about sleeping with that number of peo

MistressDeeCee · 02/03/2014 22:27

Yes, very harsh

Who can honestly say theyd like it if their partner went around publicly saying theyd slept with loads of people in their life?

I can just imagine the comments if the OP was a woman saying she'd found out her man was telling all and sundry his sexual history. He'd be deemed a boastful, insensitive twat and she'd be told 'I wouldnt put up with that OP, you need to have it out with him and let him know its NOT acceptable and he's making you look stupid'

OP Im sure there's a Dadsnet..you'd have been better off posting there