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AIBU?

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Original poster

Ok so I posted earlier but I've now had to call the police...

295 replies

MeepMeepVrooom · 25/02/2014 17:14

I posted earlier about my ExH taking pictures from my FB page and putting them on his, he tagged his girlfriend of 2 weeks in them etc etc...

I have just been to pick up my DD from nursery to be told than a woman fitting his new girlfriends description tried to collect DD from nursery. They called me but I was already on my way and told them I would deal with it, they refused to release my DD (obviously) and waited on me.

She was gone by the time i got there and have called 101 once I was home.

This bizarre behaviour seems to be escalating and I'm getting worried. I know where the woman is right now and tbh I'm trying my best to stay calm and not go to her and go through her like a ton of bricks.

Has anyone been in this position? I'm really struggling to sit tight right now.

OP posts:
AllFurCoat · 26/02/2014 10:43

How scary OP! I'm glad the police are taking it seriously, it does sound like your ex didn't know about it, or maybe that because they couldn't speak to him, they've had to question her as they couldn't corroborate the story?

On the picking up from school note, our school's policy is that they won't release a child to someone unless they have prior permission from a parent, so if someone turned up to collect, they will check with a parent first, if it was someone claiming to be a dad's gf and the dad wasn't known to them, I'm assuming they'd ring the mum first to give a head's up before trying to contact the dad!

I've asked before about if xp turned up randomly to collect any they said there was nothing they could do to physically stop him, but they'd make attempts to stall him whilst contacting me. There's also a note on their files to say that all other emergency contacts should be used before him. He did once collect last minute, which I did know about, but couldn't get in touch with school to let them know and got a call just after they'd left checking that I knew!

LilyBlossom14 · 26/02/2014 10:49

Very scary but I would presume this lady has a criminal record/outstanding or something else has flagged up? I am v glad the police are acting so well. I think you are very brave x

RalphLaurenLover · 26/02/2014 10:50

Meep! Thinking of you in this time!

You should be proud you've acted calmly and dignified in what is every mothers nightmare!

likegulliverstravelsbutmorebit · 26/02/2014 10:51

It may make things a bit easier if you are pro-active about getting legal advice. It needn't cost a lot/anything, but there could be a window of opportunity to secure powers for yourself/the police/others to immediately defend your child in situations that would otherwise be difficult.

fideline · 26/02/2014 10:52

"Very scary but I would presume this lady has a criminal record/outstanding or something else has flagged up?"

The police don't take people into custody for having a criminal record. 1/3 of the adult UK population have a criminal record. Police stations would burst!

Either she has an outstanding warrant or they have found something else in the house when they went to speak to her, but it's working in the OP's favour so let's hope they make some headway with one thing or the other.

Solicitor called back OP?

harriet247 · 26/02/2014 10:55

Thinking of you OP, i too assume they found something at her home or she had an outstanding warrant

Original poster
MeepMeepVrooom · 26/02/2014 10:56

I have an emergency court hearing a 15.45 today. My friend is with me and will look after DD for me when I go.

OP posts:
Original poster
MeepMeepVrooom · 26/02/2014 10:57

I'm on route to solicitor now. Will update tonight.

Thanks again everyone.

OP posts:
GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 26/02/2014 10:59

That's excellent, OP. I hope the court grant you a interim PSO today. I suspect they will as ex's girlfriend is in custody. Did someone from the nursery identify her do you know?

I think you have handled this very well and you are sensible to get legal protections in places since there are grey areas relating to whether your ex himself could collect your DD etc.

fideline · 26/02/2014 10:59

Good luck

WeekendsAreHappyDays · 26/02/2014 11:00

allfur if he challenges it thats illegal as well - if he has pr he has to be treated equally as yourself by the school - and he is entitled to a copy of her school records.

Schols are not a replacement for proper legal steps and it is hugely unfair of families to use them as such.

WeekendsAreHappyDays · 26/02/2014 11:01

Well done meep i really really hope the otder is granted.

SooticaTheWitchesCat · 26/02/2014 11:04

What a frightening situation. I am glad everything is being done to protect you though.

Good luck with everything.

AlpacaYourThings · 26/02/2014 11:12

Good luck today, Meep

really1234 · 26/02/2014 11:18

Good luck this afternoon.

Damnautocorrect · 26/02/2014 11:22

Wow, meep I caught this last night. But want to delerk to say your doing amazingly well moving this so quick. The police, nursery and solicitor seem thankfully, very on the ball.
Good luck this afternoon xxx

JerseySpud · 26/02/2014 11:28

Good luck my lovely. I hope everything is in your favour x

starlight1234 · 26/02/2014 11:57

Good luck... I do have experience of nursery simply refusing and School following the letter of the law...However they do understand the risks and have said they can't legally stop him taking him however they would hold him for me to arrive...

When Little one starts school make sure you have a meeting with head so they understand the risks...

Terribly frightening situation

Piechomper · 26/02/2014 12:12

Very best of luck. X

minniemagoo · 26/02/2014 12:26

Wishing everything goes in your and your DDs favour. best of luck

Peanut917 · 26/02/2014 12:28

Just seen this. Very best of luck for later. X

Original poster
MeepMeepVrooom · 26/02/2014 12:53

Thanks for the good luck messages.

Everything sorted with solicitor just need to wait till this afternoon now.

OP posts:
FryOneFatManic · 26/02/2014 12:54

Fingers crossed here that everything is sorted in favour of you and your DD. Thanks

GingerBlondecat · 26/02/2014 13:14

Good Luck, and sending (((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))

Meerka · 26/02/2014 13:17

If the police replied that it was a good idea to go away for a week when you said you were thinking of it, then it does sound like something odd is going on. It sounds like they're concentrating much more on her than him. It also sounds like it'd be wise to follow their advice quickly after the court hearing today. They have your mobile number, right?

Good luck with the hearing, and thinking of you and your daughter.

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