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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ok so I posted earlier but I've now had to call the police...

295 replies

MeepMeepVrooom · 25/02/2014 17:14

I posted earlier about my ExH taking pictures from my FB page and putting them on his, he tagged his girlfriend of 2 weeks in them etc etc...

I have just been to pick up my DD from nursery to be told than a woman fitting his new girlfriends description tried to collect DD from nursery. They called me but I was already on my way and told them I would deal with it, they refused to release my DD (obviously) and waited on me.

She was gone by the time i got there and have called 101 once I was home.

This bizarre behaviour seems to be escalating and I'm getting worried. I know where the woman is right now and tbh I'm trying my best to stay calm and not go to her and go through her like a ton of bricks.

Has anyone been in this position? I'm really struggling to sit tight right now.

OP posts:
Tailtwister · 25/02/2014 18:04

That's awful! You have done the right thing getting the police involved. Does the nursery have CCTV so you have proof it was her?

I would certainly look into the possibility of moving her, but thank goodness the nursery were on the ball.

ReindeerBollocks · 25/02/2014 18:13

That is awful.

Get a crime reference number - give this to the solicitors when you see them. The solicitor for residency and contact will also need to know about the new gf having previously had SS intervention.

It sounds like the nursery also has DD's interests at heart and if a stranger walked in claiming to have PR of your dd surely they would require photo ID and a copy of the birth cert, especially considering this potential abduction and having never met your ExH. Tell them to use that procedure ^ even if it's just a stalling tactic until you can get there.

It's good that you can trust the nursery so it might be better to keep her in that nursery because they have dealt with this situation so well.

innisglas · 25/02/2014 18:14

Attempted abduction should be a very serious charge! The woman doesn't know what she's let herself in for

Original poster
MeepMeepVrooom · 25/02/2014 18:17

Truthfully the only reason I didn't go to her work is because by that point I had my DD. I'm glad I didn't find out the description beforehand.

I'm surprised the photo's were removed after the comments on the previous thread... [confused}

OP posts:
LilyBlossom14 · 25/02/2014 18:19

even if you have blocked them on facebook please do look into making your account as private as possible. Either of them could have other facebook accounts or friends looking at you there and stealing your pics. At the top right click on the padlock then who can see my stuff - you can limit all sorts from there - even do a 'view as' so you can see how your FB looks to someone who is not a friend.

CerealMom · 25/02/2014 18:21

Close down your FB. Just use (old fashioned) emails.

HadABadDay2014 · 25/02/2014 18:25

www.gov.uk/looking-after-children-divorce/types-of-court-order

Hope this link helps, I bet it was scary for you today.

The nursery sounds fantastic I would be buying them a nice box of chocolate or biscuits for the support from them.

Logg1e · 25/02/2014 18:32

Yes, I think it's best to say you suspect it's this particular woman, but I'd really emphasise that you don't know her, let alone have given her hint that she's in a position to take your child (as many ex's girlfriends would in the normal way of things).

Original poster
MeepMeepVrooom · 25/02/2014 18:34

I will definitely be buying them something nice.

Thanks for the link. Will have a look once the little one is in bed.

OP posts:
Original poster
MeepMeepVrooom · 25/02/2014 19:48

Police arrive early. They are just away and they are off to speak to ExH's gf and him if they can find him.

Thanks everyone for your posts.

OP posts:
SeptemberFlowers · 25/02/2014 20:09

good luck meep x

AllThatGlistens · 25/02/2014 20:23

What a nightmare! Will they be looking to press charges?

Icantstopeatinglol · 25/02/2014 20:28

Omg that's terrible op! Did the police take it seriously....as in did they act like it was a serious crime? Cos at the end of the day it is attempted abduction!

Original poster
MeepMeepVrooom · 25/02/2014 20:32

They have only really said that they are taking the complaint seriously and have a view of speaking to the two of them as a matter of urgency.

They have advised me to keep DD with me for at the very minimum the next 24 hours. I will take a couple of days of work to be on the safe side.

I feel physically sick right now. When I explained who she was they exchanged a bit of a weird look. I asked but they didn't say anything. It's made me quite uneasy if I'm honest.

OP posts:
VivaLeBeaver · 25/02/2014 20:34

Sounds positive. Are they going to update you once they've spoken to them?

I take it you suspect from their reaction she's known to them?

Original poster
MeepMeepVrooom · 25/02/2014 20:55

They said they would keep me informed.

I don't know... Maybe imagining things now. I honestly feel like I've been up for days

OP posts:
MrsDeanAmbrose · 25/02/2014 21:03

Have social services been involved at all? You mentioned that this woman had her own children removed from her care - depending on the reasons for this, social services may have concerns about her even being around your children (eg if your ExH had contact at his home address). Definitely seek legal advice.

jamtoast12 · 25/02/2014 21:07

How awful and scary too :(

however going by what someone else said, can they do anything if your exh turns round and says he gave her permission, given he has PR? However if nursery haven't met m, its unlikely they'd even know him as the dad would they?

Hissy · 25/02/2014 21:16

Absolutely shocking.

I'd say that you need to do whatever you can to enable the nursery to only release on safe word, no matter what, and call the police if challenged.

I'd actually change contact to only you being authorised to collect for the time being anyway. To aid clarity.

Original poster
MeepMeepVrooom · 25/02/2014 21:16

He has never had unsupervised contact and through various reasons he is unlikely to ever get it if he even tried through a court. I have never met the woman, although I know who she is and as far as I'm concerned my child never will.

There has been no SS involvement with my DD. If any results of this then obviously I will fully cooperate. I genuinely have nothing to hide. We live quite a quiet wee life just the two of us. Well we normally do anyway.

The nursery know who he is (like I said it's a small village), the door is always locked and they won't open it to him. They know to always phone me in the first instance and the police if he get's aggressive (the local police station is 3 doors along). I know they would not release my daughter into his care.

OP posts:
Original poster
MeepMeepVrooom · 25/02/2014 21:17

The only people allowed to collect at the moment are myself and my Mum. They know us both well. They wouldn't release to anyone else.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 25/02/2014 21:18

So why don't the Police want her to go to nursery tomorrow? Confused

LesbianMummy1 · 25/02/2014 21:19

Sorry no real advice to add but didn't want to read and run. Hope all gets sorted soon and police take appropriate action.

Original poster
MeepMeepVrooom · 25/02/2014 21:20

I honestly don't know that's what's bothering me. I'm not sure if it's just a case of until everything is sorted it's better if she's with me or if there is more to it.

OP posts:
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