Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ok so I posted earlier but I've now had to call the police...

295 replies

MeepMeepVrooom · 25/02/2014 17:14

I posted earlier about my ExH taking pictures from my FB page and putting them on his, he tagged his girlfriend of 2 weeks in them etc etc...

I have just been to pick up my DD from nursery to be told than a woman fitting his new girlfriends description tried to collect DD from nursery. They called me but I was already on my way and told them I would deal with it, they refused to release my DD (obviously) and waited on me.

She was gone by the time i got there and have called 101 once I was home.

This bizarre behaviour seems to be escalating and I'm getting worried. I know where the woman is right now and tbh I'm trying my best to stay calm and not go to her and go through her like a ton of bricks.

Has anyone been in this position? I'm really struggling to sit tight right now.

OP posts:
Original poster
MeepMeepVrooom · 26/02/2014 08:23

I have had a quick chat with the nursery this morning and they are not under any circumstances allowed to release my DD to anyone without my permission.

The nursery is not a public nursery it is private and they have a contract with me and a duty of care to my DD, that involved not releasing her to anyone else. There is an intercom and they are on shut down at the moment, as in will not even answer the door to someone that is not known to them.

I can't remember everything they said but they are sending out some information for me so I have it all to hand.

I haven't heard anything from the police. I will ring the solicitor I used for my divorce and hopefully he can forward me to someone with more in depth experience, I'll do this once they are open.

I'm just packing up some stuff. Will update later. Thanks so much for keeping me calm last night. Thanks

OP posts:
WeekendsAreHappyDays · 26/02/2014 08:28

amazing jumper prove he hasnr seen her - to a school, prove that is because of x y or z, prove its not because mum is obstructive. Im not saying OP is but how is a standard place to know.

He is under the law a parent - it is for the family court to resolve these things, not a scho or a nursery.

I am not saying he should do these things, I am saying legally be can until steps are taking to stop him - it is not really a school or nurseries place to establish anything because they will not have the time, legal knowledge or facts.

The law is the law - thats why things like PSOs exist.

WeekendsAreHappyDays · 26/02/2014 08:30

meepmeep good luck with your solicitor - it should be a simple thing for you to put everything in place you need.

LilyBlossom14 · 26/02/2014 08:33

Am so glad the nursery are so brilliant - good luck with solicitor today. Really hope the police get back to you soon.

PissesGlitter · 26/02/2014 08:47

What a weird situation
You seem to be doing all the right things
I hope you get to the bottom of it (why she thought she could collect your child)

coco44 · 26/02/2014 08:47

*coco it wasn't him it was his girlfriend!

And sorry but no he fucking isn't as much a parent as what I am. Really? I raise my child, I love my child, I protect and look after MY child. He does none of that. she may share 50% of his DNA but that does not make what he does equal to what I do.*

but legally he has many rights over her as you do.Yes the nursery has a contract with you and will only release to the people on the registration form, but that doesn't mean he was doing anything illegal sending his GF for her.I xcan't see why the poluce are getting involved.

HavantGuard · 26/02/2014 08:57

Well the person who is a police officer on this thread has disagreed with you thankfully,

WeekendsAreHappyDays · 26/02/2014 09:05

I know categorically that the police could do nothing - Coco is right and all she is saying is get it all sorted out legally so the position is clear. I cannot see why she is getting such a slating.

Original poster
MeepMeepVrooom · 26/02/2014 09:13

Sorry hold on a minute my ex Husband was not the one to try and collect my daughter. His girlfriend was. At present there is nothing to say this was done with his knowledge or consent (although as I have said even he can't pick up my daughter because the nursery will not release her into his care)

The police are looking into it. I'm not saying they should be charged, I'm not saying anything because I don't know. I am taking the appropriate actions and going through the correct channels to protect my child. They are involved because someone my daughter doesn't know, has never met and neither have I has turned up to her nursery and tried to remove her without my knowledge. Of course they are going to be involved.

I'm struggling to see if you're being deliberately obtuse or you are just that stupid.

OP posts:
coco44 · 26/02/2014 09:16

'I'm struggling to see if you're being deliberately obtuse or you are just that stupid.'
Because you don't ike what I am saying
a) It doesn't stop it being true
b) doesn't mean you have the right to resort to personal insults

isitme1 · 26/02/2014 09:16

Just a hand to hold.
must be horribly scary!
X

Meerka · 26/02/2014 09:18

meep, you're getting a lot of support on the thread, we're almost all behind you :)

Hope you managed to get some sleep, is your daughter at home today? How is she?

Do you know if the police will get back to you today to let you know what's happening and to confirm if it was your ex's brand-shiny-new gf? Your nursery sounds excellent, so glad they were on the ball.

Original poster
MeepMeepVrooom · 26/02/2014 09:18

You are saying you can't see why the police are involved... That's not a matter of not liking what your saying that's you failing to see what is obvious.

And you are wrong with part of what you are saying because he cannot collect my daughter. End of story.

Maybe it's different in Scotland than it is to England but you really have no idea what your talking about because everyone I have spoken to so far has disagreed with you and that's what their job is.

Not responding to you again to be honest. It's a waste of my time.

OP posts:
Meerka · 26/02/2014 09:19

coco she's stressed out of her head and under threat of someone trying to abduct her child. Please, let it drop, you're only stressing her more.

Original poster
MeepMeepVrooom · 26/02/2014 09:20

Thank you Meerka - She is fine, she doesn't know what's going on. She just asked if Mummy had a smiley face today and when I said yes was quite happy with that Smile

The police have just rang so they are coming back round this morning. I'll wait here till then and then go to my friends.

I appreciate everyone's support.

OP posts:
WeekendsAreHappyDays · 26/02/2014 09:21

Did you see theblink upthread on applying fpr a pso - you could apply today.

namechange74 · 26/02/2014 09:24

Good luck today Meep thinking of you and your little one x

Eatriskier · 26/02/2014 09:28

at my dcs nursery I'm considered the main carer as I signed the contract and other forms. because of this when dh asks to make a change they double check with me. we have no separation issues to muddy anything either. dh or me cannot simply nominate another person for pick up without the nursery having the appropriate paperwork. they've even questioned mil picking up before and she is a named person with a password.

Original poster
MeepMeepVrooom · 26/02/2014 09:33

Weekends I'm going to wait on the solicitor returning my call. He is in a meeting and will return my call at about 10am. I do want to make an application for this today though.

Thaniks.

OP posts:
TheNightIsDark · 26/02/2014 09:34

Good luck. I agree with pp. we had a situation at my nursery and we were not allowed to release a child to their father and in one case to both parents.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 26/02/2014 09:35

Interested to hear what the police have to say.

Hang in there OP.

AllThatGlistens · 26/02/2014 09:35

Oh come on Coco Ffs, it was a complete stranger that attempted to take a child from nursery, and you think that's normal? Hmm

Luckily, the law disagrees with your opinions.

nennypops · 26/02/2014 09:38

Coco is simply saying what people like Weekends are saying, and, whilst I fully understand that OP is frightened and stressed, there really is no need to for everyone else to have a go at her. It doesn't help OP to deny the legal facts. If exH has parental responsibility then in law he is entitled to pick up his daughter, and he is also entitled to ask someone else to do so. The contract with the nursery doesn't in law entitle them to prevent that. I'm very glad that in practice they are preventing it, but I agree you need to get to a solicitor quickly so that you can put in place the necessary legal protection.

nennypops · 26/02/2014 09:41

Just for clarification, the nursery was of course entitled to stop OP's dc going with the girlfriend when she turned up out of the blue with no i.d., but unless and until there is legal protection in place the ex can tell the police that she was authorised which it appears is likely to get her off the hook.

Christmascandles · 26/02/2014 09:41

Hi Meep,

I've just caught up with your thread (s) and I'm so sorry to read what's happened. I'm not going to debate the Ins and outs of nursery collections vis-a-vis parental responsibilities as that's been done and anyway I think that is taking us off track a bit....

This woman, gf, call her what you will, has actually only known your ex for two weeks. So hardly a gf then. Someone he's just met. A stranger.

That is what you need to focus on. A random woman tried to pick up your child. You ^think^ she may have a connection to your ex.

Hope you get on ok with the police and your solicitor. May be a bit dramatic, but if it were me, I wouldn't tell anyone except my mum where I was going for the remainder of the week either....

Thinking of you Thanks