aibu to hate this expression?

[ginbin54]

The expression "full time mother" drives me nuts! It's as if when you leave the house to go to work you stop being their mums. We are all full time mum's whether we are stay at home or have to go out to work.

Bowlersarm, parenting isnt work in any shape or form. Its just what you do if you decide to bring a child into the world. Do those that work say they have two jobs? No.

Housework is something most adults have to do as part of life. Its not as though sahms have the monopoly on it - in fact many on MN believe they are not home to do that and believe the wohp should share it once they come home.

I dont want my DS to grow up believing he has to work in order for his wife not too. He can see its perfectly possible to work and parent at the same time.

I haven't called SAHM's lazy.
But I don't see why they think that they shouldn't contribute to the families income if the children are in education? Why should the DH/DP carry the financial burden alone? I could never just stay at home and watch my DH go out to work every day whilst I did nothing to help towards bills, food, holidays, birthdays, Christmas etc etc .

kay everlong. sorry.

Exactly Rosie

Fucking hell. MN is the most judgmental organisation. - Sorry make that some members of mn.

That's your choice Writer. Not mine. Or my DH's. What right have you to tell me/my DH how we should be conducting our lifestyle?

I just say I'm at home with the DC (though I do have an evening job and a couple of voluntary roles too).

My youngest starts school in September and I can't WAIT to get back to work. We don't financially need me to work but I'm really, really looking forward to it.

I wouldn't want to be at home once my DC are at school mainly because I despise housework and I'd rather be earning in a job I enjoy and pay someone else to faff around cleaning things

But you are perfectly happy for your DS to grow up believe that he can dismiss and insult whole sections of society because they make different choices than him.

Molly, i think girls should be the same as boys. Able to have a job they like, parent and share all responsibilities. It doesnt have to be a career for either, some are quite happy not climbing the ladder.

Education in schools is equal for boys and girls so they both have the same chances in life. We fought for equality and we now have it.

What is the point of girls going to school if their main ambition in life is to find a man to be beholden to for their every need?

Believing

I'm not bowlers - I'm just explaining my viewpoint, that's all.

My mother always worked. She had (and still has) a very important and fulfilling career. I am a SAHM.

Obviously did a piss poor job at setting a good example

happy the wohp wants to earn money. He doesn't want to do any housework whatsoever. I like staying at home, and enjoy doing housework. What right do you have to say he/I shouldn't be conducting our lives in that way?

Imo... The point of saying full time mum is that it is all you do. IE, I am just a mum, full time, i have no job, but neither am i looking for one. Its not a dig at anyone, not implying that "wohms palm their children off on anyone they can, anything to avoid raising their own children" (nb not my view, but one that i've seen something 'think' a sahm was implying about her)

I'm quite sure it isnt supposed to offend anyone, but while we're on about "what i dont understand", the thing i dont understand is why everyone is always so defensive over their own choices that they attack the other side and come out with utter shit like "i cant imagine being so lazy i wouldnt want to work" ffs.

But you are writer in your negative terminology about the SAHM.

stephenkatz - does she pass comment on your choice to be a SAHP? I'm only asking because I'm genuinely interested as to whether high-flying career mothers automatically expect their daughters will make the same choices as them due to having 'set an example'

Well it doesn't really happen like that outside of your head Happy. Ambitions change.

People meet, get married, have children then make choices together for their families.

Sometimes couples agree that having someone stay at home is best and they make that work.

Sometimes the wives even go out to work! Shocking but true.

I'm very lucky to have found a term-time job that finishes at 3 so I can do the school run. The cost/availability of afterschool, possibly breakfast clubs, and holiday clubs would have made a non-term time job logistically difficult and financially not worth it for me.
And personally, I would fucking love to not have to work, working is shit.

writer She's rather puzzled by it. Fully admits she couldn't have done it herself. But has never ever passed judgement on my and DH's choice and is very complimentary about me as a mother.

But then, she's a nice person who wouldn't dream of telling another mother that their decisions were wrong

All I said bowler was that I couldn't sit at home whilst watching my DH go out to work every day. If I want nice clothes, a car, holidays etc then it is just as much my responsibility to provide financially for them as it is my husbands. He does not owe me my quality of life. We are 50/50. We both work so we can both pay for things that we both want to enjoy.

Obviously you have a different set-up and both you and your DH are happy with that and that's your choice.

Just because I think differently to you does not mean I'm dictating to you as to how you should live your life - I'm just explaining how me and DH live ours.

Bowlersarm, parenting isnt work in any shape or form. Its just what you do if you decide to bring a child into the world. Do those that work say they have two jobs? No.

So if you choose to stay at home and look after your children, are you not working? What do you do with your kids when you are at work, turn the batteries off? Do CM or nannies not work then - or does it only count when you are looking after children who are not your own?

Whether you choose to go to work or look after your children full-time, you are working. It's called a CHOICE. Respect other peoples choices as well as your own, and get on with it.

*stephenkatz "But then, she's a nice person who wouldn't dream of telling another mother that their decisions were wrong."

Can we swap mothers??
My baby isn't even born yet and my mother is already completely panicked that I'm going to choose the SAH option

"People should stick to Housewife - less confusing and less offensive to working parents. "

Fucking offensive to full-time parents though, isn't it? Are you a workwife wannabe?

YANBU to hate any expression you want. But yabu to read more in to it than is meant. If I say I am a full time mum, it just means I stay home with the kids and do all the day to day stuff. I certainly am not calling my husband a lesser father. He doesn't get his pants in a twist about it.

Children are hard work, parenting is the hardest and yet most rewarding job I've ever done and I had a high pressured job before having my children. It's pretty relentless when you're home all of the time. You choose to go to work, fair enough. Good for you. I choose not too as we'd be worse off financially (I have more children than you) and I want to be at home with my children whilst they are very young. Makes every sense in my book.

Housework everyone does - sure, hubby and I share what doesn't get sorted throughout the week. We don't live a 1950s female / male existence because I'm at home in the week. Indeed if is earned more than him, quite possibly he'd be at home. I don't think that SAHMs make declarations about being domestic goddesses.

And I think what your ds and his future wife / partner chose to do when they make their life should really be their decision based upon their own circumstances, not yours. I know my boys will be taught to respect women and support their spouses whatever they both decide is the right choice for them.

Or maybe that should be 'officewife'