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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that 8 is too young to wear a crop top (in place of a vest)

268 replies

MrsGoslingWannabe · 22/02/2014 00:33

DD wants a "child bra". She means a crop top and said "all the girls in her class have them" (not true). I hate it but I imagine that at PE changing time there is now a discussion over who has them and the fact that those who don't are "showing their boobies". I hate the pressure to conform.

OP posts:
Needsmorecake · 22/02/2014 18:53

The thread wouldnt have kept going, if peoples mothers had been a bit more understanding to their childs needs. which is exactly what the OP was about, and exactly what the posts since have been advising/ discussing.
Biscuit

K8Middleton · 22/02/2014 18:53

Wow stooshe did you mean to be so fucking nasty? How unnecessary, especially as the op quite clearly states in her op she is "imagining" the scenario at school so I think a bit of relevant extrapolation is fine considering the context.

Maybe you should have some therapy to teach you a bit of proportion or empathy?

SuburbanRhonda · 22/02/2014 18:54

stooshe, are you sure you're on the right thread?

PandaFeet · 22/02/2014 19:26

This is a forum for people to discuss things. No one (apart from HQ) gets to dictate how a thread goes or what should be posted on it, and it is ridiculous to think otherwise.

Your post was nasty stooshe. Nasty and unnecessary. How dare you tell people to "deal with their shit"! How fucking dare you!!

Please stay away from the mental health board.

PikaAchooo · 22/02/2014 19:43

I'm another who thinks YABU. I can't see one logical reason not to buy your daughter a crop top.

lottieandmia · 22/02/2014 19:44

Stooshe, what the hell does a crop top have to do with sexuality? Don't be so ridiculous. Who really has a hang up here?

tess73 · 22/02/2014 20:02

Last summer dd1 kept pulling at her top, saying it was irritating her but it was too hot for vests so I bought her some crop tops. She was 9. She says they are way more comfy and has worn them through the winter too.
Dd2 is 8 and some of the more grown up/cool girls have been wearing crop tops for years. Dd2 thinks it's a bit strange.
Re changing for PE they now wear PE kit all day on pe days. No separate changing facilities.

bodybooboo · 22/02/2014 20:07

Stooshe I really hope you arnt a mother with a vile and nasty attitude like this.

threads develop and if you can't actually understand that do please go onto candy crush or such like as you definatly don't have enough intelligence, empathy or sense for mumsnet.

CaptainSinker · 22/02/2014 20:12

Stooshe.. well named.

Oh the irony of accusing others of being unhinged, projecting and getting things out of proportion!

If you think all parenting decisions need to be based on the question "Will this give my daughter vaginismus in the future?" I hope to fuck you haven't got kids!

bodybooboo · 22/02/2014 20:23

NeedsMore please don't let this stupid idiot upset you.

some post just to be nasty. everyone else on here feels for you. xx

Cranky01 · 22/02/2014 20:39

Please buy your dd a crop top, why would you not, she's asked you for a reason, I wonder how long it's taken her to pluck up the courage.

Fwiw, my mum was like you, didn't feel they were needed. My aunt brought me some . I used to put them in the wash, and I sure she used to hide them from me for a while because I could never find them anywhere, then suddenly they would turn up.

It makes me sad to think how uncomfortable I felt with out a crop top and difficult it was to ask her where they were.

Needsmorecake · 22/02/2014 20:54

Body, thanks. Im fine ;)

I was posting to try to highlight to the op that she cant control her daughters growing up, and should be helping and providing emotional support.

How does anyone expect their child to be able to come to them with big problems, when they arent there for the less big issues.

fatlazymummy · 22/02/2014 20:55

I don't see why this would even be an issue. To me a crop top is just a short vest. My daughter wore them from 8 or so, until she needed a bra.

bodybooboo · 22/02/2014 20:56

Needs exactly and your posts although painful for you to post, and read, have helped other posters realise how important these issues are.

HobbetInTheHeadlights · 22/02/2014 21:05

DD1 8 is starting to develop and she was wearing the same camisole white cotton thing that had come with almost see through type tops she had been given under her school blouse's.

I went shopping couldn't find any of those - saw some crop vest and though - oh that's a good idea. DD 1 initially not keen on first sight - thinking they were like a bra - now loves them.

I really don't think the girls in her class are comparing breast development on back of my buying her some. Do think that is an odd jump to make.

IWillOnlyEatBeans · 22/02/2014 22:38

I can remember getting teased at secondary school for wearing a vest when all the other girls were wearing crop tops or bras. The worst bit was that I loved my vests - they had pictures of blue birds on and I had thought they were so pretty!

I asked my mum for a crop top and she got me some. YABU.

Original poster
MrsGoslingWannabe · 24/02/2014 11:17

Gosh this thread only had 11 replies when I last looked! Thanks for your advice. Some has upset me not because it was nasty but more because it was a wake-up call and reminded of how hard I found growing up and not being able to talk to my mum openly. DD was back to school today and not happy about it - not enjoying it lately. I will get her some crop tops if she wants them. As people have said its one less thing for her to worry about and she seems
to be worried about a lot Sad

OP posts:
MrsBungle · 24/02/2014 11:19

Aaa, that's nice op. Glad this thread has been an eye-opener. Definitely was for me too.

SomethingkindaOod · 24/02/2014 11:20

At this age a small worry can be seen as the ultimate tragedy can't it? I sympathise, DD1 always has a worry on the go at the moment!

brighteyedbusytailed · 24/02/2014 11:21

No.

I started developing breasts at 8 and i was so anti boobs you my DM to force me bra shopping.

Original poster
MrsGoslingWannabe · 24/02/2014 11:23

Actually haven't read the whole thread Blush so perhaps I will be more upset when I do Hmm

OP posts:
WaxingGibbon · 24/02/2014 11:31

MrsGosling I just wanted to echo MrsBungle. Thanks for coming back and letting us know your thoughts. You're not alone - I think this thread has been an eye opener for many of us. Don't worry about the harsher replies - you do just get brutally honest feedback in aibu!

PrincessScrumpy · 24/02/2014 11:32

Some of her friends might be starting to develop. I started wearing crop tops at 8 and started periods at 9, was in bras at 10. Vests are not cool in juniors I'm afraid (or they weren't in my day and I'm 30+ now). I wouldn't fight that one tbh - crop top as a top however would be a massive no no for me :)

nannynewo · 24/02/2014 11:46

I agree with people who say to pick your battles. Don't get me wrong, I think it is sad that young girls feel they have to wear a crop top as if they have something to hide. BUT I work in a school, in a year four class, so 8/9 year olds. Nearly all the girls in the class (I would say about 90%) wear a crop top. Children can be cruel, and your DD obviously feels self conscious and wants to be like all the other girls. A crop top won't harm her, it's just like having a short vest.
It's when she is a teenager wanting to wear a top that shows her stomach out in public that you can put your foot down!

pointythings · 24/02/2014 11:47

I think this thread has been an eye opener for many people, OP. Don't feel bad, you've listened to the many people on here who have had similar issues and decided to change your mind - that makes you a bigger person. I hope your DD is happier soon. Flowers