Bank account details on wedding invite!

[Passthesaltdear]

Yep so...got an evening guest invite few days ago, had the usual "we-ve been living together for ages now and have everything we want but if you are so inclined we would love some money for honeymoon etc..." Then at the bottom is the couple's account name, number and sort code so money can be paid directly in! I was shocked, is it me or is this really cheeky?!

We've been invited to the wedding of my cousin's daughter.

Lovely, hand made invite. No list, no mention of cash, absolutely nothing that refers to gifts at all.

Who wants cash? thieving fuckers at the reception will be away with the envelopes (I've read that thread before)

I went to an Irish wedding last year and on arrival at the reception the brides mum pointed me in the direction of the "wishing well". I was curious as to what the heck it was......it was a box for putting money/cheques in.

So so cheeky...people have no shame.

I'd pay in a very small, random amount to confuse/embarrass them...£3.28 or something like that!

Total cringe unless the money is for charity.

Very rude-I couldn't have imagined anyone doing it!!

OP, to answer your question, I am in Greece but I think we view weddings in a different way, not necessarily better, just different. A wedding is not a whole day celebration and there is very rarely a venue where people must travel. The wedding - ceremony - usually takes place in the evening, about 19.00 in the summer due to the heat, and then there is a dinner, reception, dance thing where usually everyone is invited (including children, babies, toddlers - no childcare costs involved). So, the expense for guests is limited to just travel to the church and then the reception. People will get married in the town/ city they live or the place where bride or groom is from, so there will only be people from that side traveling and more often than not the traveling side will be put up by the local side (we are one big happy family!). And then there are no week-long stag/hen dos. The bride/ groom will spend quite a lot of money to entertain all these guests. The guests will get the couple something anyway, why not give them cash to use as they please instead of buying them something they will give away to charity?

I think asking for vouchers for a department store is a bit more subtle, and would be a more polite thing to do.

Do you think the bride and groom will accept 1,000 Armenian Dram in cash?

That's £1.45 to you and me

Asking for money outright is cheeky and rude. Why not just send the invite and if people want to give you something (which is traditional) they can ask and you can tell them later or provide a wedding list.

A lot of cultures have a long tradition of giving the bride and groom money (Irish, Italian etc) but that is (mostly) done without the bride and groom spelling it out on the invite/providing bank details.

I personally find it appalling that a bride & groom would ask for money and then claim they will be donating a portion to charity (as one poster said their friends had done), how nice of them to be so charitable with your hard earned cash!! Ridiculous!!

I don't have any problem with this at all. Very practical.

@thequeenofsparta...see what you have explained sounds so nice and I can see why in these circumstances nobody would bat an eyelid at giving money. We worked out that the last wedding we went to cost us around £700 with hen do, hotel, childcare, outfit etc! To then put account details on an invite makes the guest feel obliged to give money, and I would feel stingy giving less than £20, so all in all it just becomes even more expensive!

Pinning money on the dress.

static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2010/5/4/1272994395157/wedding-006.jpg

OP are we going to the same wedding?!?
We also just had an invitation with various inserts, menu etc. one of which was a request for honeymoon money with bride's bank account details on!
Am so glad I'm not unreasonable to have been a bit surprised!!

I really don't see why any couple not wanting a load of useless gifts can't just specify No Gifts Please on their invites.

That way people can offer money if they wish to. Without feeling obligated, or like it's been demanded in a 'grabby' way.

Hideous t-towel or oven glove time

Beyond cheeky and tacky, how romantic to charge an entry fee. If they have everything then they dont need cash either. Pay for your own wedding or honeymoon!

Whilst traditional to give a gift it may be, its never acceptable to ask or specify what you want unless asked. A discreet gift list available upon request is the best way to go.

Very rude IMO.

Eurgh - horrible.
If you don't need anything and have gone so far as to write that on the invitation then don't ask for cash. It's awful.

I wouldn't go and I would have bought them a fucking fantastic present if they hadn't asked.

Unless things have changed very recently, Doitnicely, demanding cash is not an Irish "tradition".

Can you do an online shop & charge it to their account?! I mean they have given you all their details! Be a shame not to really!

ugh very crass.

and your a B class guest too!!! i would not give them anything.

yanbu, that's horrible. I wonder whether the bride and groom know about it, or if they delegated the invites to a family member with no manners whatsoever!

When I was preparing invitations to our wedding a few years ago, I didn't want to put any kind of registry information or account details for exactly this reason. There was a lot of pressure from family (mainly in-laws but also my trying-to-be-modern-and-savvy parents) to put a gift registration or "we will take cash too" thing in with the invites. I took a lot of heat by not including any info in with the invites, but included a link to a website which we set up, with a tab that had a link to our registry (Amazon and bank account) along with other info like RSVP, directions etc.

gamerchick i love how u think "direct debits galore"

Missed it was an evening only invite, so you are not deemed important enough to see the actual wedding but they would still like your cash. Unbelievable.