Bank account details on wedding invite!

[Passthesaltdear]

Yep so...got an evening guest invite few days ago, had the usual "we-ve been living together for ages now and have everything we want but if you are so inclined we would love some money for honeymoon etc..." Then at the bottom is the couple's account name, number and sort code so money can be paid directly in! I was shocked, is it me or is this really cheeky?!

Beyond cheeky, I'd pay in 10p

It is a very common thing to do from where I come from. I don't see anything wrong with it (but I am the practical type).

I don't see an issue with it really and no I haven't done this myself

It's no different from having a gift list is it where the doting couple have picked out everything they want from John Lewis and expecting other people to buy it for them. Lots of people co-habit before marriage so don't need the essential home starter kit. I've been to a few wedding where the couple have asked for a donation for their honeymoon or home repairs. I would be buying them a gift anyway so why not give money for something useful they really need

I think asking for money is a wee bit cheeky altogether, cash, cheque, whatever.

If someone turns up and puts a cheque/cash in your card/hand of course the gracious thing to do is accept it. But to ask? No.

I don't care if it is the 'done thing' nowadays.

A great idea. Apparently I have a cheque book but I've no idea where it is.

Out of interest, the people who say it's common where you come from, whereabout do you live?

Well it is different to a gift list.

Unless you include that in with the invitation I suppose.

Buy some teaspoons OP, you can never have enough!

I'd give them love2shop vouchers or a popular travel company vouchers. Or pay 1p into their bank account.

I had this for a wedding recently. Before I opened the invite the bride popped over, I jockingly said that it's so embarrassing that some people put their bank details on the invite. She left and I opened the invite, lo and behold there were bank details on the invite, I was so

I think mn is the only place in the world where expecting wedding gifts is thought of as grabby.

I really must live in a different universe or it really is just different in Ireland but no wedding I have ever been to here mentions gifts/lists/money/poems/bank accounts. Everyone just knows you put money in the card and jobs a goodun :o

Again, failing to see the outrage here! The last 3 weddings we've gone to I've given cash as presents and the bank transfer one was the only one fully happy with as most secure and they could see who had given what.

For my own wedding I asked for tesco vouchers but some people still bought us a selection of bits that went straight to charity as we didn't need it. Is asking for cash really that different from having a gift list?

I reckon there should just be a trend of giving nothing if it causes so much offensive to be decisive and practical. I'd rather the happy couple have something useful or that they have asked for, rather than something that would go to waste! :(

Grabby Grabby Grabby! The point is to give young people starting out a helping hand at the discretion of guests. If you have everything you need then stop being so GRABBY!

I don't think expecting wedding presents is grabby, it's a social norm.
Asking for them is grabby and putting bank details in an invitation is incredibly bad form.
I suggest tea towels.

I think it's the asking/assuming that's thought of as "grabby" isn't it?

We had a list of stuff.

Well, two lists, one with mum, one with MIL.

But they weren't handed out with invitations & were only used if asked for.

Jeremy Clarkson did a whole "Pah, there's nothing to be worried about -- you can only put money in to an account with the sort code and account number" thing a couple of years back, and published his details in his newspaper column to make a point... at which point, IIRC, someone set up a direct debit from his account and he had to accept that maybe it wasn't the most secure idea in the world.

My sister was going to do this. Her and her fiancé are much much richer than us. They don't need money, they just can't think of anything else...

They won't be getting money from me - we need it more than them. I've seen something nice on Etsy, and I make funky machine embroidered cushions... so they are getting that instead.

Decline.

If you have all you need, you don't need cash, either.

Send a card. At the most. An empty one.

I hate it when anyone asks for money. I'm sure its very lucrative since people feel mean about giving £20 but I think its awfully grabby and very crass. My sister did it and I was embarrassed (she wasn't since she made £3.5k out of it!).

I would personally make a point of buying a gift. If they don't like it never mind.

*And this is a wake-up call to people who may have done this, and didn't realise how bad it is.

People are judging you - at least now you know!*

If by people, you mean you! This one always splits opinion, but I just assume that those who are wildly offended (and judging) over it probably have friends with similar opinions, so they don't do it and vice versa. Surely it's a matter of personal preference rather than something that people can pronounce on definitively?

See here.

OP, how do you feel about Diabetes UK?

I really couldn't give 2 shits. Give or don't, but I really fail to see why MN gets all Hyacinth Bucket about it.

we (d h and i) were invited to a wedding last year, bit last minute, think we were on the reserve list and had this elaborate detail of their planned honeymoon and account details so we could contribute, we didn't go, or contribute!
when dh and i got married we made no mention of gifts or money etc not even a gift list, and almost everyone bought us something and the majority played very safe and gave us john Lewis vouchers, they were brilliant as we subsequently bought bigger items which will last years! i think people who feel the need to ask underestimate their friends!?