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Original poster

Bank account details on wedding invite!

313 replies

Passthesaltdear · 20/02/2014 17:21

Yep so...got an evening guest invite few days ago, had the usual "we-ve been living together for ages now and have everything we want but if you are so inclined we would love some money for honeymoon etc..." Then at the bottom is the couple's account name, number and sort code so money can be paid directly in! I was shocked, is it me or is this really cheeky?!

OP posts:
HappyMummyOfOne · 22/02/2014 11:12

Cunk, love it. Just think how much fun you could have with the gift tag Grin

"Its your happy day with a dream trip to come
So i've given you some suncream and hope you have fun
You'll laze on the beach and dance through the night
Knowing you fleeced your guests for your own delight"

TheCunkOfPhilomena · 22/02/2014 11:17

Haha HappyMummy, I think you're onto something there. Contact Hallmark immediately!

rednellie · 22/02/2014 11:36

I've never liked gift lists or asking for cash. And that is in RL. So when we got married we said no gifts but if you really wanted to you could give to Oxfam.

And you know what? I had several people getting really pissed off with me. I think the older people just wanted to give us gifts because that's what you do and I think the younger ones thought it was a criticism of what they'd done at their weddings. You can't please everyone, although I wish now we'd just said nothing at all.

ToffeeOwnsTheSausage · 22/02/2014 13:07

I wonder if people don't buy anything when the bride and groom have said no gifts they think the B&G will secretly think them mean. Such a mine field.

I prefer an invite with a gift list/web code to look at list on line.

pitterpatterfeet · 22/02/2014 13:11

Just told my husband about this thread - he had never heard about this but has come up with a few good wedding invite poems.

"He is my darling and I am his honey
We've got almost everything!
Just give us money"

"We'd love your company at our wedding bash
Don't bother with prezzies just give us cash"

HoratiaDrelincourt · 22/02/2014 13:16

Great poems! Grin

I couldn't have told you at the time who didn't give us a wedding present. I can tell you that the toaster was from John, the breadbin from James, the bin from Caroline, etc, but we didn't tick off our thank-you list against the guest list.

I assume other couples are like us. And if they do judge us, well I can't change our disposable income based on their bad manners Wink

HappyMummyOfOne · 22/02/2014 13:19

We're tying the knot and hope you can come
There will be cake and tea
Dont worry about gifts, we'll save you the hassle
By charging an entry fee Grin

Inertia · 22/02/2014 13:26

I'm not keen on the cash requests, but almost every wedding I've been to recently has included requests for either cash or honeymoon donations. In the past I've given cash in the currency of the honeymoon destination, so that at least it feels as though we've bought the (say) a meal out in France, rather than paid off part of their gas bill or Visa card debt.

We did have a wedding list, but in those days it was expected by family, and family members did ask us to set one up because it's what our older relatives were comfortable with. We also got several surprise individually-chosen presents too, which were among the most memorable.

Robfordscrack · 22/02/2014 13:36

I don't think there is anything wrong with asking for contributions towards a fund, but bank details have no place on an invite. We were casual about the gift situation and did not include details - we eventually put them on our wedding website as the guests kept phoning my mother for suggestions! People who have us money did so of their own free will, in an envelope at the reception.

minouminou · 22/02/2014 13:47

Cash with your name on it?

I just broke out into a cold sweat at that.

Friendsupport · 22/02/2014 14:37

Asking for anything is downright rude. If you are unsure what gift a couple may like, then certainly give them cash.

But anyone who blatantly asks for cash & goes as far as providing bank details would be getting a decline by swift reply.

expatinscotland · 22/02/2014 14:58

I don't go to weddings where the couple touts for money. Just charge a fee, it's more honest.

FryOneFatManic · 22/02/2014 20:12

I mentioned my cousin's daughter previously in this thread, as they have no gift list and made no request for money.

I asked my cousin today if they were having a gift list, etc. She said they had decided not to, as they already had stuff they needed for their house (which they only moved into last summer, it's their first house, and they are early 20s).

Cousin has said she'll see if they have anything they fancy, or, as a group of us have offered, if they'd like a contribution for a holiday.

We want to do this, as they are such a nice couple, not grabby at all. And if we contribute as a job-lot, they'll never need to know exactly who put in what amount. Which we suggested as I know there's a couple who want to add but can't afford a lot.

Floggingmolly · 22/02/2014 20:18

Your wedding website, Robford??? Doesn't sound so casual to me...

Pagwatch · 22/02/2014 20:51

Wedding website?

Say what?

Sparklingbrook · 22/02/2014 20:52

I think I have heard of a wedding website.....

Only1scoop · 22/02/2014 20:52

Blimey....wedding website
Wow is that....usual?

bunnysmummy · 22/02/2014 20:52

Well times have changed, haven't they?
It was the norm to have a gift list and the bride and groom asked for specific cutlery, chinaware or glassware, probably something fancy for best. There was a time when it cost considerably more to set up a house and home. Nowadays we don't use best stuff for entertaining and to buy household goods is way cheaper. We set up with Ikea and chuck it out when it breaks and move up to habitat etc.
Everyone of my friends weddings have been a "please give cash to go towards a honeymoon or a painting".
Presumably the bride and groom thought they were inviting a friend and "loved one" who would like to give a gift of something they actually want rather than some tight-fisted twat who would only give 10p or worse set up direct debits with their bank account.

killpeppa · 22/02/2014 20:54

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR! Shock
no freaking way-we lived together but made a small list for anyone who asked, we gave them the list details but only if they ASKED.

Only1scoop · 22/02/2014 20:58

Anyone remember when a gift list would sometimes be in the form of a little notebook....with a picture or description of a gift. It would be passed around and you would tear out page of gift you would intend to buy.
I remember helping my cousin cut out pictures of 'Eternal Bow' crockery to stick in her book.

Just remembering really....
Confused

killpeppa · 22/02/2014 21:08

1scoop
thats so cuteGrin

expatinscotland · 22/02/2014 21:10

Oh, yeah, bunny, such an honour, an evening do invitation.

Sparklingbrook · 22/02/2014 21:26

Wedding websites I am speechless.

Panzee · 22/02/2014 21:27

If you're not that close that you would begrudge bunging them £20 then you're right to decline, they probably only invited you out of duty anyway.

expatinscotland · 22/02/2014 21:29

Probably invited you to raise more swag, more like.