To be hurt by 'best friends' Facebook post?

[MrsDrRanj]

I know I know, it's just Facebook, please don't stone me!

I have been close with my best friends for over 10 years, we have both supported eachother through some very tough times. Including an abortion I had when I was 15. I didn't get much professional support and struggled with the decision for a long time, in fact it's something I still struggle with today and still think about.

Being my best friend she knows all this, she knows it is a sensitive subject and the torment I went through afterwards.

Last night she posted a picture on Facebook, that had a picture of a pregnant woman with an arrow pointing to her saying 'your body' and an arrow pointing to her pregnant belly saying 'somebody else's body' and the headline 'it's not your decision - abortion is murder'

I texted her saying 'ouch, that pic hurt' and she messaged saying 'I'm not trying to offend anyone but I agree with it'

I know everybody is entitled to their views, but aibu to think this was really insensitive and unnecessary? She is not just a random person who knows I have had an abortion, she is my best friend who knows how much it hurt me and supported me through it.

I almost feel betrayed and confused about our whole friendship.

TBH 5madthings I think anyone who thinks that a decision made about a woman's body should be made by anyone other than that woman, has a very poor opinion of women.

Any decision that should say.

Bumbleyummy But are you saying that women would flippantly, more than halfway through their pregnancy decide they didn't want a baby- if only it was legal?? I have luckily never had to have a termination but I can only imagine how hard it would be to have a termination at 6 months pregnant. You can see the physical changes in your body. You must have an incredibly low opinion of women if you think that would be an easy or flippant decision! Do you know the reasons why those 150 had abortions?

Agreed basil

5 mad things. The only figures I can find for abortions in Canada only records later term abortions as '21 weeks+' but the rate for that is higher than the UK.

Janine, yes, I do. If you look at it statistically then yes, it is 'rare' in relation to the total number of abortions (I have already said this). However, that model is flawed because abortions are only allowed under exceptional circumstances after 24 weeks . Do you understand that?

IMO, 150 late term abortions is not 'rare' in the sense of it being something that does not occur very often. It averages out at around 3 a week.

fancy, I don't understand how women can abuse or kill their babies and/or children but it happens. Maybe we shouldn't have laws about that or any crime for that matter and just have high opinions of everyone.

fancy, "Do you know the reasons why those 150 had abortions?" Seeing as abortions after 24 weeks are only legal in exceptional circumstances(which I gave in an earlier post) I am going to say that it is for one of those 3 reasons. Is that not obvious?

Consider it against the number of live births then? That's about 700,000 a year.

fancy, without being as flippant, the main reason for the late term abortions is disability - congenital abnormality, chromosomal abnormality etc.

90% of abortions in camada take place before 13 wks, less than 1%take place after 24 wks. So even where it is legal it is stillrare.

No, bumbley I don't understand the point you're trying to make. You said that you wouldn't regard 150 late-term abortions per year as rare. I'm pointing out that they are extremely rare. How are they not rare? In the context of live births, as HopALong pointed out?

And post 24 weeks doesn't mean 40 weeks. It could be mean 25 or 26.

Mostly things which are less than 1% of a whole are called rare in English.

You could call it bookish, or table-ish or common if you prefer, but that way you make language completely meaningless. And discussion impossible.

HopAlong I've found one source that is saying "31 abortions per 100 live births" for Canada.

I think you have to put that 150 against the number of pregnancies that aren't terminated tbh. It's a vanishingly small figure.

I would hazard a guess that even if you allowed abortion to term, those would still be the reasons the vast majority of women would have terminations. And it would still be incredibly rare. Yes there are women who may terminate because they just feel like it, but it is a medical procedure. A person cannot just abort their child by themselves, They would have to be seen by doctors. It's nothing like abused children!

31 abortions at what stage though? 31 abortions at before 12 weeks? Thought we were specifically talking about late term abortions?

5madthings - do you have a source for that. As I said, I can only find 21weeks+ and there were a lot listed under 'unrecorded gestation'.

Janine, why are you now comparing it to live births? I've already explained my thinking behind it. You are perfectly welcome to disagree with me though.

Hopalong - "And post 24 weeks doesn't mean 40 weeks. It could be mean 25 or 26."

I haven't said I think it means 40 weeks.

AskBasil, statistically speaking, yes but as I've already pointed out (several times now) Abortions are only allowed in exceptional circumstances after 24 weeks.

Hopalong- seeing as they only give figures for 21+ weeks, why do you think I'd be able to calculate the rate of post 24 week abortions per 100 live births? I thought you wanted the overall rate of abortion per 100 live births. If you have the figures, please point me in the right direction.

The thing is that, with regard to the detust, I don't actually care how many abortions take place. I care about the situations that womenw so often find themselves in where abortion is necessary or desirable and in an ideal world of course it would be less common. I'd rather we were all free to control our fertility and contraception, and educated fully on all our options. But that just isn't the case now, and even if it was, people make mistakes and have accidents. A woman's right to control what happens in her body will always come first to me.

Me too Hopalong.

And I'd dump any friend who implied I was a murderer.

bumbleywe are talking about how rarelate term abortion is, as were you.

I got it from "statistics canada" the federally recognised statistics.

What hopalong said.

No bimle. My point was that 150 late term abortions per year, versus around 180,000 total abortions, and around 700,000 live births, is really very very rare. In the context of pregnancy and birth, it is incredibly rare for a woman to choose to terminate her pregnancy past the point of 24 weeks.

HopAlong, you are entitled to your opinion.

5madthings, I've been on the statistics Canada website and I can not find figures to say that 1% take place after 24 weeks. Do you have a link to that source please?