To be hurt by 'best friends' Facebook post?

[MrsDrRanj]

I know I know, it's just Facebook, please don't stone me!

I have been close with my best friends for over 10 years, we have both supported eachother through some very tough times. Including an abortion I had when I was 15. I didn't get much professional support and struggled with the decision for a long time, in fact it's something I still struggle with today and still think about.

Being my best friend she knows all this, she knows it is a sensitive subject and the torment I went through afterwards.

Last night she posted a picture on Facebook, that had a picture of a pregnant woman with an arrow pointing to her saying 'your body' and an arrow pointing to her pregnant belly saying 'somebody else's body' and the headline 'it's not your decision - abortion is murder'

I texted her saying 'ouch, that pic hurt' and she messaged saying 'I'm not trying to offend anyone but I agree with it'

I know everybody is entitled to their views, but aibu to think this was really insensitive and unnecessary? She is not just a random person who knows I have had an abortion, she is my best friend who knows how much it hurt me and supported me through it.

I almost feel betrayed and confused about our whole friendship.

i dont actuallu care what men think or anyome tbh.

and i think most women who sat down and spent some time thinking about it would realise the importance of bodily autonomy.

anyone who wants to resign themselves to incubator status can go right ahead but dont expect me to follow suit.

you can choose what to do with your body and only your body. every individual woman deserves the right to choose for herself.

No, that's not what I said. I said that people who call themselves pro-choice don't always support abortion to term.

You said this:

"Most people who consider themselves pro-choice don't support the idea of abortion to term."

You actually don't have any evidence for that, do you?

Ask basil. The survey shows that most people don't support the idea of abortion to term. Only 5% would like the limit to be extended past 24 weeks. 34% would like the limit to stay the same and 37% would like the limit to be reduced.

Why do you think most people support the idea of abortion to term for healthy pregnancies?

There was a thread on here the other night where pretty much everyone who posted agreed with the principle of abortion to term.

Thankfully the laws aren't based on the opinions of MNers.

I'm simply responding to your earlier post: Do you really think that most people support the idea that a woman should be able to terminate a healthy pregnancy right up until she actually gives birth? It certainly isn't the case among any of the people I know - here or in RL.

I'm pro choice up to a certain term for healthy pregnancies (probably the current laws) - but not to full term.

I didn't see that particular thread Janine. It certainly wasn't an opinion held by the majority on any other thread I have ever been on and certainly not something I have come across in real life. Most of the time, people share cobalt's opinion and people often have different ideas about what limit they find acceptable.

Exactly. The only exxeption I could accept is if thw baby's condition meant it would die shortly followinf birth. And that's still not logical but I suppose moves into the euthanasia setting.

I think this thread is bonkers. When I post stuff on FB (and I wouldn't post this kind of crap anyway), I'm saying something about me, not you (generic you).

Sorry you're upset OP, but this reads very much as a "This isn't about you" situation to me.

Mrs DV, I agree. I don't understand that argument either. The law currently allows for pregnancies to be terminated after 24 weeks under certain circumstances including if the child would have physical or mental abnormalities and be seriously handicapped which is why I have specifically asked about 'healthy pregnancies'. It's simply for clarification in case someone comes on and says "abortion is already allowed up to term for x,y,z reason"

Abortion at term, or even after 24 weeks is so rare, arguing about it is clouding the issue IMO. Using a picture of a heavily pregnant woman in a stupid facebook post is emotive and unnecessary. I can't imagine women merrily going through 40 weeks of pregnancy and then think " Actually, I don't fancy this!" Even if abortion was allowed to term in all cases, it would only take place if the childs life or the mothers life was unsustainable, I would think, or if the mothers life was unbelievably chaotic. She would have to give birth to the child. It's not an easy option!

Sorry Bumbley had misread what you were saying. OK, I understand the point you're making now but I'm slightly confused about why you're making it. What's it got to do with calling a friend a murderer?

I think there are around 150 abortions a year performed after 24 weeks in the UK. I'm not really sure I would call that 'rare' tbh but it does make up only a small percentage of all abortions that are carried out. That's hardly surprising though considering that they are only allowed in exceptional circumstances.

Given there's around 195,000 abortions carried out in England and Wales every year, 150 abortions after 24 weeks is incredibly rare.

Ask Basil, I said it in response to your post: "IMO they don't become pro life, they become anti abortion. Or anti choice. Or pro forced birth.

Pro life is anti-abortionist's propaganda term, there's no reason why anyone else should use it or recognise its validity."

I was pointing out that 'pro-choice' isn't really a great term either because most people are usually only 'pro-choice' up to a point. (around the 24 week mark at the moment).

Janine, well it is only legal after 24 weeks in exceptional circumstances.

It is rare. 0.1% of abortions.

www.gov.uk/government/news/abortion-statistics-england-wales-2011

Even incanada where abortion to term is legal it is very rare. Funnily enough its not a decision a woman would make lightly and anyone who thinks otherwise has a very poor opinion of women.

I said I wouldn't call it 'rare'. Around 150 abortions a year after 24 weeks is still a significant number imo. I have already recognised that it is a small percentage of the total number of abortions but then it is only allowed after 24 weeks under exceptional circumstances.

Yes, I was going to mention the Canadian model. Much more humane and enlightened.

Do you understand what rare means? You need to place it in the context of the overall occurrence of the event, in this case abortion.

Ah right that makes sense.

I agree with you actually, I don't think the term "pro choice" is particularly good or accurate because I think most women have abortions because they don't have any other choices.

And my original point, that pro life is a propaganda term, still stands. People who oppose abortion are no more pro life than anyone else.