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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask if you let your DH/DP go into your handbag?

135 replies

dalziel1 · 19/02/2014 11:09

Or is it your private space?

OP posts:
CoffeeTea103 · 19/02/2014 11:10

No, DH goes into mine and I go into his wallet. We don't see it as a big deal.

mrsjay · 19/02/2014 11:10

yes i let him he wont go in it never has no idea why he just said it is rude to do it he wont go into my purse for money either

sadbodyblue · 19/02/2014 11:10

not bloody likely

I go in his wallet though. Grin

billyokey · 19/02/2014 11:10

If he needs to then yes, I've got nothing to hide and I'm not very protective over my handbag space

MarysDressSways · 19/02/2014 11:11

Of course he can, there's nothing in there that I don't want him to see. It's full of crap but if he needs my keys or something from my purse or something, then fine! He hardly ever goes in there though, unless he needs some change and has already asked me if I have some.

SooticaTheWitchesCat · 19/02/2014 11:11

I have nothing private in my bag so he can feel free if he wants. I don't think he has ever had the inclination to though!

nemno · 19/02/2014 11:11

Totally fine with it.

WooWooOwl · 19/02/2014 11:11

If he needs something that's in there I might tell him he can get it himself, but not if I know I've got a sneaky stash of chocolate in there, because there is just no need for him to know about my secret chocolate.

Other than that, I don't mind him going into my bag as long as he asks. I would be pissed off with him if he just went into my bag without saying anything, and he knows that so he doesn't do it.

Meatfeastpizza · 19/02/2014 11:12

I sometimes tell DP to go in for something specific, but if he can't see it instantly he will bring it to me rather than rummage. He carries a satchel, and I wouldn't rummage for anything. If I asked for something and he told me to get it out I might but I'd probably feel weird or as he does, bring it to him if it wasn't obviously on the top of the bag.
I look at it a bit like reading someone's diary or post, or going through their phone. It feels a bit like an invasion of privacy.

FoxesRevenge · 19/02/2014 11:12

My bag is disgusting, I pity anyone who ventures there.

This has prompted me to tidy it tonight.

littlewhitebag · 19/02/2014 11:13

He would only go into my handbag if he knew there was something in it he needed. A letter or keys or whatever. It wouldn't bother me at all.

He wouldn't go in my purse unless it was an emergency and he couldn't ask first. I wouldn't go into his wallet without asking either unless i had to.

It's more about being considerate rather than not wanting to part with money. I would go into his wallet and rake around for stamps though!

Weegiemum · 19/02/2014 11:14

He does - nothing to hide! Children no.

Livvylongpants · 19/02/2014 11:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Helpyourself · 19/02/2014 11:15

Yes, no problem.

LeBearPolar · 19/02/2014 11:16

He asks first if he needs to borrow some money or something but I don't see why he can't go in there Confused

Unless he's going to get scared by the sanpro. "Oh My God - my wife has periods! Who knew?!"

londonrach · 19/02/2014 11:16

Husband can go in if i asked. I be shocked if he went in without asking me first Mind you if i ever ask he tends to pass the whole bag over. Different situation but If a patient asks me for something in a bag,coat etc i always go and bring the whole bag, coat over for them to get what they require. No way would i ever reach in even if given permission. So yes i think its private even to husband unless permission is given.

JoinYourPlayfellows · 19/02/2014 11:16

My bag is disgusting, I pity anyone who ventures there.

Ditto

Although I do let him.

I'm too lazy to go and get it myself if he needs to get cash.

The rule is he has to TELL ME if he takes all the cash out and also that he's only allowed to do that if it's an emergency.

Whatsthatnoise · 19/02/2014 11:16

It doesn't bother me but he knows if he's looking for change to always leave me £1, after he took the change out my purse I didn't realise and had no money for dds treat after swimming. I'm still having nightmares about that tantrum :)

BecauseIsaidS0 · 19/02/2014 11:17

I let him, but he never does without asking first (he will ask me for something and I will tell him that it's in my handbag so can he please fish it out).

dalziel1 · 19/02/2014 11:17

I used to let my DH go in there but I've been feeling more awkward about it recently. I've nothing to hide but I just want to have some privacy - and there is nowhere else in my whole life - so i asked him not to and he hasn't taken it well! (He knows I am not having an affair btw!)

OP posts:
Writerwannabe83 · 19/02/2014 11:18

What a weird question Smile

Of course he can go in my handbag Grin

thegreylady · 19/02/2014 11:19

Yes gladly but he won't . He won't take money out of my purse either. He brings the bag to me. He just says it feels like an invasion of privacy. Yet he doesn't mind me looking in his wallet or pockets though.

dalziel1 · 19/02/2014 11:19

I'd be ok if he just took my purse out if he needed money though. Its the "tut, tut" as he looks through it and sees the mess that I am putting a stop to.

OP posts:
gennibugs · 19/02/2014 11:20

My DH does and it doesnt bother me. He doesnt randomly rummage around - its more if he is looking for the car keys/house keys or needs cash and Ill tell him to look in my handbag.

dalziel1 · 19/02/2014 11:20

Not a weird question ... some women do, others don't. I was just wondering how normal it is to put it off limits.

OP posts:
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