AIBU to ask if you let your DH/DP go into your handbag?

[dalziel1]

Or is it your private space?

Yes he does, and my purse. He often takes all of my change, but I random take his to.
I also open his post. I open all letters that arrive to our house regardless of the name. But that's because he just throws them on to the table and doesn't open anything otherwise!

Can't see that he want to but wouldn't care if he was looking for a pen or needed some change.
Find marriages with secrecy of any kind very odd tbh.

No, but only because there is that much crap in it at the moment he would get frustrated with it and just end up tipping it all out to find what he wanted and that does no one any favours.
Writerwannabe83 lol,

My husband always brings me my bag because he can never find anything so it's easier if I look and find it straight away. I often have to go in his wallet to liberate cash! He doesn't mind and tells me if he's flush so I can have it. Kids are not allowed in my bag or purse though.

Of course I let him.

Am I missing something?

Yeah but he would just come straight back out of it. Endless receipts and random junk would set his OCD mind into overdrive lol

Am I missing something?

That some people think of their bag as private and don't like other people going through it?

Dh never goes into my handbag without asking and I wouldn't go into his wallet.

Dh never goes into my handbag without asking and I wouldn't go into his wallet.

Could, but don't.

While secretive behaviour is a cancer in a marriage, you have to respect that a human being has privacy - some people need some level of private stuff almost like they need air.

I don't have a handbag but can't imagine why it would need to be kept private if I did.

Yep, still don't get it.

I thought I was totally fine with it and I think I am.....mostly

If he needs anything and I have it in there I tell him just go in my bag but We had a small run in once when he mentioned something I hadn't told him yet and I said shocked how do you know that, have you been in my bloody bag!? To which he replied genuinely innocently and slightly upset you told me I could go in to your bag when I needed something (i then felt stupid as that is exactly what I had said)

It turns out I don't care a jot if I know about it but felt invaded when he hadn't asked/mentioned it before doing it.

I have no idea why as it is the most boring bag contents known to man! Nothing to hide what so ever

My DH goes into my handbag and purse all the time. It drives me crazy. Not because I have anything to hide or because it's messy, it's just annoying that he thinks he is entitled to. The most annoying thing is that he genuinely does not care if I go into his things / wallet / pockets / etc, so he seems confused about why I mind. He's learned to ask now if he needs something, but I can tell it perplexes him!

If I asked DH to get my keys if I was feeling really lazy that would be fine. But I wouldn't like him rummaging through my bag for no reason and without asking. If I wasn't in and he needed something important he thought might be in my bag I wouldn't mind that either.

He only goes in if he asks for something, my car keys, change for parking, money for emergency chocolate run and I tell him to get it out of my bag. He would not just go in without asking not that I would be upset if he did.

I would not go looking through his bedside cabinet drawers and would not expect him to go through mine.

My DP wouldn't go into my handbag even though I wouldn't mind. He better not go in my sewing box though.

Oh no i feel totally weirdo now!
I don't want my dh or dcs to go into my bag.i am not hiding something. I like each of us to have some personal space, some things like my handbag belong just to me.
Ditto with e-mails and passwords.

I don't have affairs honestly.

He doesn't. But he can if he wants somethin, but I would prefer that he told me simply so that I know that whatever has been removed is no longer in there.

On the other hand there are at least three bags in the living room, all full of crap, so the chances of him finding anything are remote. So on that basis it is probably easier if he asks me to find whatever he wants.

Yes, but he wouldn't unless I tell him to grab the keys or some money out of it. I'd find it a bit of an invasion if I walked in and found him randomly looking through it (there's nothing in there to hide, I'd just find it odd).

I was always fine with it - my handbag is actually a functional tardis though so he never went in alone just in case it swallowed him whole. To be fair to him once he reached in and when he pulled his hand out had managed to apply a plaster to one finger and the next time something bit him...turned out one of the rats had climbed in for a little snooze and was frightened by the Godzilla hand. If the bite/plaster incidents had happened the other way around it would have clinched my theory it's gaining sentience.

I was left a bit stunned by the otherwise very nice guy at a checkout who, instead of handing my points card back to me, reached in to my open handbag and tucked the card in the back pocket! I am not at all being accusatory he was being helpful but I was like wtf dude?

I don't need my handbag to be a private space (h has fucked off now anyway) because I'm more strict than friends about my bedroom being mine and bedside cupboards/drawers are private & no toys or dc things migrate into my room, although the dc are welcome in any time I'm there. I can see if you have no house space, shared car or dc seats/crumbs/toys in your car etc etc just one private thing that is just yours is important and as my bag spends more time with me than my children and has all of the stuff I need to function I can completely see various reasons to feel twitchy about it being seen as free for all.

He's scared to.

Apparently there are "make up cloths" in there and he nearly passes out at the thought of them

If you knew what we do in bed together,you wouldn't think that him looking in my handbag was an invasion of privacy

Dh doesn't like to. But I don't mind. I've got nothing to hide.

Wouldn't bother me at all but in 25 years of marriage I don't think my DH has ever looked in my handbag. .

KristinaM - now we are intrigued