AIBU to ask if you let your DH/DP go into your handbag?

[dalziel1]

Or is it your private space?

I have nothing to hide in my handbag but prefer that he asks before going through it to find something as I otherwise think it's a bit disrespectful. As far as I know, he's always asked and I've never said no. Sometimes I'll say "bring it here and I'll get x item" but that's simply because he won't be able to find it in the pockets without emptying it everywhere.

It probably comes from the fact that my DM always thought it was unacceptable to go through her handbag to find something.

Yes, he goes in on a morning to get change out for the coffee machine at work, he only keeps notes in his wallet and always leaves his coins on the side - I always put them straight in my purse. Hate having change sitting about the house!

I allow dh to go in there if he tells me he needs something from it such as to borrow money/keys etc but if he were to go in it without my knowledge I would find it an intrusion on my privacy.
I have nothing to hide, but my handbag is my personal belonging private to me iysim

Yes mine just rifles through for whatever he's looking for.

He has a satchel type bag - I ventured in once for something but it was so disgusting I thought something was going to jump out and bite me.

I just asked DH if he would go through my handbag, to which he replied why would I. There nothing in it.

And to be fair he right. My purse and keys tend to be on the kitchen side 99% of the time.

My dh can never find anything. So I rarely let him in my handbag. He'd make a mess. So, no he never goes in there.

My dp is more than welcome to do in my handbag I have nothing to hide but he doesn't he feels it's invading my privacy but he lets me go in his wallet without a problem

It had never, ever occurred to me that this sort of thing might be a problem between people. DH is free to go in my bag at any time, assuming my heritage collection of nappy sacks and fluff-covered raisins will be left undisturbed. Likewise he cares not if I look for something in his rucksack. But neither of us would bother unless we actually needed to look for whatever it was, so that probably makes a difference. I would be pissed off if he was constantly taking the cash out of my wallet without asking first not that there is ever any in there in the first place.

I'm not fussy he can get stuff from my bag no issue. I don't like hime ferreting in my car glove box though, that is where I stuff all my rubbish because I have a tiny hand bag.
I go in his wallet too although I time I had a few second panic when a single souluble paracetamol tablet in there (in its packet) looked like a condom at first glance and we were undergoing fertility investigations.

What do people keep in there that might be considered private?

That's a genuine question - my handbag is fully of shite but none of it is anything I would consider private.

Yes, DP could go into my handbag but he doesn't really, not unless he needs to get some money or ibuprofen.

Well he can, but he doesn't, and I would rather he didn't

although anyone venturing into my bag would probably be fairly revolted by all the crap in there lol

Yes I do but my DH always asks before doing so. He thinks tis is a private space so I do the same for his wallet in return.

Yes my DH often rummages looking for something like house keys in mine, which he never finds. He calls it the tardis of crap

Yes of course, and he fetches my phone to check my messages for me too, I don't feel the need for privacy from my DH (although I do close the bathroom door...who said romance was dead!)

Yes why not? I really can't see the problem.

I don't know why he'd want to go into The Fortress of Used Tissues, but he can if he ever does.

Funnily enough I found my handbag on the floor of the dining room this morning with all the contents tipped all over the place - I went mad and blamed DH.

Then I realised my three cats were running around playing with something and I remembered the pack of catnip mice I had left in there.

Sorry I blamed you DH - hope your ear gets better soon.

No problem- but ask first.

I don't mind at all if he rummages, but he won't and brings my bag to me so I can get whatever it is he wants.
He respects my privacy completely.
And I have nothing to hide from him.

The way it should be imo.

Yes dh goes in my handbag, his tetanus shots are up to date so he's not in too much danger.

It wouldn't occur to me that it was a private space. I sent my (male) colleague to rummage through my bag for painkillers the other week when I was too hungover ill to walk the 5 minutes back to my desk myself.

What a fascinatingly weird thread! Why would a handbag be private? Is what I'm not getting to do with money, receipts etc being in your bag? Or your phone?

The comments about it being your only private space are strange and depressing to me - is there really nowhere else private in your life?

I'm struggling to think of somewhere I wouldn't be happy for my husband to poke around in at need, and failing. Apart from work in progress documents on my PC. (Am a writer.) I do hate anyone looking over my shoulder when working. And am fussy about anyone being in my study in case they disarrange my 'filing' of work all over the desk and floor.

As long as he asks first, lost count the amount of time I go into my bag for tablets or sweets and he had taken them.

No. He would bring it over to me if he wanted something out of it.

Similarly I wouldn't go in his wallet for cash.

I was brought up not to go in my DM's bag - and he had the same rules as a child - so it must be from there.

There's nothing totally private in my handbag - but I know what is in there. How many tissues, painkillers, lipsalves and how much money. I can't have folk helping themselves.

It's just a courtesy. I wouldn't go into his wallet or pockets or briefcase without asking. Or his phone. He would never say no, and neither would I- but as I said, courtesy.