AIBU to ask if you let your DH/DP go into your handbag?

[dalziel1]

Or is it your private space?

Of course!

It's disgusting in my bag; I prefer to use family members to retrieve items for me.

Yes, not that he ever does, I think he thinks I keep mouse traps in there or something, if he wants something in there he tends to bring it to me holding it at arms length

There's nothing exciting in there, I hardly ever carry it myself - keys, phone, purse, assortment of tissues, some clean some snotty

I go into his wallet if I need something - fairly regularly actually, as I'm constantly losing bank cards so I need to borrow his.

Totally fine with it, although he has a phobia of tissues, so he doesn't go in unless he has to! He's fine with me going through his wallet, too.

He'd never do it without permission, but I wouldn't have a problem with it.
My chocolate stash is in the locked glove compartment of the car.

Yes my hubby and my daughter are both allowed to go into my handbag. Daughter must tell me before though ad let me know what she has taken

Yes it wouldn't bother me, but he never does - if he ever needs anything out of it he brings it to me at arms length as if it's going to bite him

I don't mind but I'd like to be asked unless it's an emergency. Tbh dh views my bag with deep suspicion and avoids it. He says it's boobytrapped because its always lying in wait to trip him up.

Mine refuses to, even if he is sitting right next to it and he wants something that I've been carrying in it.

This is because it is a "lady thing". Like my tampons are going to somehow jump up his bum and magically make him want to wear high heels and hair extensions if he dares to open it.

Yeah, of course. He doesn't like doing it though because he feels it's my private space, even though he happily lets me go through his wallet if I need his card or some change. Odd man.

My DP is another in the "will bring entire bag over rather than go rootling inside it" school. If he's asked me for something that's in my bag and I've said "It's in my bag; help yourself", obviously I don't mind him getting whatever it is out himself, but he never will. I'd want to be asked first though. He says it's because he was brought up to believe that a lady's handbag is very private and a man has no business being in there whatsoever.

I wish he had been brought up to believe the same about my chocolate stash...

I don't have a handbag but we go through each others pockets looking for keys, cards, change etc

My dh does if there is anything he needs, no biggie really

Mine doubles as the changing bag, so yes, it's fine. (It's a nice handbag; I can fit a laptop and nappies in there )

Mine goes in all the time, keys, change etc. It has never bothered me tbh. Although he does say I have a 'load of crap' in there.

My mum is really uptight about this. We were always told her handbag was 'hers' and we should never open it, even if she'd just said she would give us a tenner. We had to bring it to her and let her get the money out.

I always thought it was because she (no doubt wisely) assumed we'd see it as a free source of small change unless she made it very clear, but she still does it and we're all grown up.

DH would go in my bag and vice versa. Wouldn't usually raid each other's wallets without asking just because it's annoying.

My DH can. I'm worried now thay my life is dull. What could I have in my handbag to make me more mysterious to DH?!

It is a slightly weird question. Unless you have something to hide why would there be an issue?

DH would go in mine and frequently does to get car keys etc but again will often pass it to me to find whatever he needed on the basis that it is quicker and its full of crap that he doesn't want to sort through.

He's got a funny thing about it and he won't go in my bag. I remember telling him "Just look in my bag..." and he said "I'm not looking in THERE!" as though it had a gin trap in it or something!

He always asks first just like I do if I go into his wallet

He wouldn't without asking. I wouldn't care if he did though.

I wouldn't mind him doing it if he needed to get something and I couldn't reach it, but generally he'd rather ask me to fetch something from there than do it himself. Probably because it would be quite a task to find something with all the compartments! There's nothing in there that would surprise/offend him. We have our own cards, keys, supply of change so it's very rare that there's any need to though. I don't think I've ever needed to get anything from DH's wallet (which is very slimline and only contains his card/paper cash).

DH could go into mine, but he says there are rats in it.

I don't think it's a big deal whatever you decide. But his tutting would be a real irritant for me - it's not his job to judge how tidy or otherwise you keep your own personal space.

Is he like that in general? Because I don't think the handbag is the real problem if he's making you feel uncomfortable about your own personal choices.

If I had a handbag (I don't) I would have no problem with DH going in it. Why would it bother people?

He's more than welcome. What have I got in there that I don't want him to see?

however, due to the state of it, he approaches it like a frightened rabbit and simply slings it at me, complaining that he can never find anything in there.

He's also more than welcome to open letters addressed to me, look at my phone, check my diary to see if I've got any appts, log onto my email or check what size knickers I wear I don't give a shit.