To be upset dp doesn't want to marry me

[bellabella10]

As background we've been together for 5 years and have an 18 month old together. When we first moved in together about a year into the relationship we would talk, possibly jokingly, about getting married and having kids at some point in the future. Our baby was a surprise although we love him so much.

Whenever i have brought up the subject in the past two years (not often) he just changes the topic. Last week i approached it head on (I want to change my name anyway so we all have the same surname old school) he said he doesn't want to get married and doesn't know why. I will change my name by deed poll i suppose but it still upsets me.

I didn't even want a big do (although i get a tiny bit jealous when i see my friends getting married) and would be happy going to the registry office with only a few close friends and family.I have a feeling is because he had family abroad but they do come over and we could have a small ceremony in both countries.

No don't raise marriage at start,but when it's serious and if you're cohabitants have that discussion
The big discussion,where's it going.views on kids,marriage,work,money etc
Career us important to me,I wouldn't have stayed home we had that discussion. We didn't want to marry we also had that discussion

There are points in relationships were it us appropriate to have big discussion
First few date,no. Becoming Cohabitants,yes
Discuss finances,expectations,view on marriage

Yes I agree that ppl should talk about these things.
But partners are not always clear about their wishes and intentions. And it's an easier conversation when you're both able to be honest about things and have similar views.
Some people have reservations about marriage because they fear commitment, and sometimes ppl are scared of the financial outlay or the public event, or the tradition. And sometimes ppl take a long time to make considered decisions, or might even change their mind.
So if you a fortunate enough to be with someone who is either like- minded, or extraordinarily transparent about thir wishes, that is a real advantage. But in many relationships that's not the case. And it would be very hard to leave an otherwise decent partner because you've not been able to have a businesslike discussion about nuptial arrangements.