To wonder why women continue to bash each other over the SAHM/WOHP thing

[happyyonisleepyyoni]

I'm sick of hearing women justify their own life choices by bitching about others. It's nasty and low.

Can't we give each other the benefit of the doubt and accept that in the vast majority of cases, people do what they think is best for their families-whether that means staying at home or working. There is no moral right or wrong here.

The End!

Evees at your boss. I hope you keep a record of his comments in the eventuality you need to sue the ass off him for discrimination.

as PPs have said, a lot of women probably feel insecure/guilty for their choices. A lot are also in the situation when they either cant afford childcare so HAVE to be a SAHM or cant afford to live without their pay so HAVE to be a WOHM and are therefore unhappy with their situation.

another side is that women may feel they are going to be judged for their choice/situation and leap to the defensive straight away. I know I feel a little intimidated when I go out to works stuff with DH and I'm faced with a lot of career women (I'm a SAHM, 4 years and counting). I am only just getting to the point where I can confidently say 'I'm a SAHM and I love it' without feeling the need to justify it further.

also one of the more common reasons given is 'I feel it is the best thing for my baby' which automatically implies anyone doing different is doing the 'wrong' thing. of course we all do what we feel is best but by stating that out loud it automatically sounds judgemental.

Pagwatch... Bitter much? You can't have a discussion about the whys and whatfors without discussing the 'cliches' as to what makes people come up with their reasons.

And yes, you have missed a back thread. That's the whole point

at 'bitter much'
Is this cliche bingo?

Why would I be bitter? I have been a wohm and a sahm. I have managed both without ever judging anyone else's choice, firstly because it's none of my business and secondly because people's lives are complicated and a 100 different things may factor ino the choices they make.

People bash each other simply to defend their own choice or because they have a need to try and feel superior. They should get over it.

Ithinkwerealonenow, unfortunately he's one of the few ppl at my work I can actually tolerate. Apart from our views on parenting we get along well

If its the 'whole point' then link it rather than posting snarky faces.

If its a thread about a thread then why continue it with more of the same?

Well you certainly came in there without anything nice to say didn't you! What else am I to assume?

To be honest Evves it comes across as you retaliating against a shitty post with an equally shitty post, except the posts are on two different threads so I can't see your point in bringing it up again. The last thread got closed with 1000 posts, the comment you refer to was almost at the beginning of the other thread. You had ample opportunity to respond, why bring it to another?

It isn't necessarily what you say within your post but what you imply. For arguments sake, yes there are lazy SAHPs but there are also lazy WOHPs who get by at work doing the bare minimum while other people pick up the slack. It works both ways. There are also really good Mum's and Dad's who work their ass off whether it be in the home or out with the home who have the occasionally lazy day/weeks.

What possible, positive point were you trying to with 'sahms having chikdren as a meal ticket and referring o them as shitbags' and 'watching Jeremy Kyle, going to the gym and sitting on their arse all day'

Was that a nice post? Did I not match those giddy heights of loveliness?

And then naturally we have the super Mum's and Dad's (who have unicorns in their garden) but they are just show off's.

Thank you MrsMagnificent.
That makes more sense.

Eveesmummy . If someone posted unpleasant things on another thread then those are the views of one unpleasant person.

Responding to one person attacking WOHMs by being deeply rude about sahms is just tit for tat nonsense.

I agree - my friends are a mixture of people with children and without. Some have f/t jobs, some have very young children and are currently at home, but that's just where we all are at the minute. I isn't fixed in stone - in a few years we could all be doing something totally different as circumstances change.

The main (soppy) thing is we're good friends and help each other out without sniping bitching competition and jealousy.

They're my friends because they're great people and their family situation just wouldn't come into it any more than how they decorate their house or what kind of car they drive!

My DD informs me that there are space unicorns who make rainbows with marshmallow lasers.

I didn't reply to that post because when I looked at it there were I've 900 replies and I didn't see the point. I only read the first page or so and thought it was escalating quite quickly and didn't see the point of getting involved.

I stated that there are SAHP who work hard too. I was nice at the start then I sprouted into a 'from my experience'

I have NEVER had anyone comment on my sahm/wohm status, and I have never judged anyone on what they do. What's the point?

I sometimes feel like I'm the only one who doesn't give a rat's ass about other adults' decisions on:

Bf/ff
Blw/spoons
Co sleeping/cio
Which fucking pram
What type of sling
Reusable/disposable nappies

Ad infinitum.

now, black jeans with brown boots, on the other hand...

I agree, OP, but actually don't see this in RL, only on MN.

I was a SAHM & even now my kids are at school only do very limited part-time hours. The worst reaction I've ever had in RL has just been someone asking me if I get bored (no, I don't).

I always assume that the reason these threads kick off here is because women generally are still conditioned to feel more guilt & self-doubt about their choices than (most) men, & so tend to feel more need to justify / validate those choices. That can then lead to criticism of those making different choices, etc. etc.

At least I'd rather think that than believe that some women are just judgemental & bitchy.

Oi Mrs are you slagging off my unicorn farm?

Could your DD send one my way, Pagwatch ?

EveesMummy has just proved OP's point hasn't she?
The question was why do people think it's ok to criticise other's choices, you didn't answer the point EM, just continued to do exactly that.

Sure thing Quinto. If we catch one of the buggers.
I'll give it a go after Jeremy Kyle.

Yes yes, LBE.

You make the point that was irritating me.

The only person I bashed is my bosses wife. I said some SAHM are one way. Some are another. I was simply agreeing with her in the rest of my reply and giving experience of if

Everything Pagwatch said.

I just don't get why people get so angry at someone making a different choice to them.

I have been a single parent working full time to then losing my job and going on benefits, then working part time, then getting married, staying at home - to now when I work from home. So I've moved through various guises - no doubt being hated by someone at any one time. And why? For just getting on with things at the time.

Just live your own life and stop fretting and judging everyone else's choices.

I don't get it either but have only seen it on here. Why does anyone even care to notice what anyone else's set up may be?. I assume they're making the best choices they can for their family. What else is there to say?