To not want my cats now the baby's here?

[elliebe13]

2 years ago I really wanted a baby but my husband thought it was too soon so got me a cat instead. She's the gentlest, sweetest cat there is. A year later my friend found a box of abandoned kittens and we took one in. I put all my effort into her and lavished love on her but she's just a grumpy, horrible cat who steals my other cat's food, fights with her and leaves white hair everywhere. She doesn't even like to be stroked. Sometimes she just poops next to the litterbox.

I became really freakish about cleanliness during pregnancy and they're banned from our bedroom and the baby's room. They're both treated for fleas but I still find them on my baby's face occasionally.

I thought my hatred for them would disappear when the baby came but I just really resent them, no matter how much I clean there's hair and dander everywhere, we don't have much space or money really and it's hard to find a decent rented flat for pets.

The second cat needs to go as I am miserable and dreading when the baby starts crawling. I had guests over last night and my friend's coat was just covered with this white hair.

I am going out of my mind. I thought I was an animal lover but I guess I'm not :(

Seriously op, just rehome them. It's a CAT. It's not going to pine or miss you. It probably won't even remember you exist in a fortnight (no offence).

We've just rehomed an adult cat and he's just fine. Been here a fortnight and you'd never know he'd ever lived anywhere else.

I have also rehomed animals myself due to children.
We rehomed our 2 dogs shortly before ds2 was born. It was a struggle when ds1 was born but we persevered...but we got to a point when it just wasn't fair on the dogs and due to various factors we really couldn't give them the care they needed any longer.

It was the best thing we could have done, for us and the dogs.

I agree with other posters that it sounds like it could work with the older cat, if you were able to re-home the one who you clearly don't like anyway.

If I were you I'd do everything possible to arrange a new home yourself. I've also been to a rescue centre recently, as we're getting a cat, & seeing how many cats there are & how hard the volunteers work, I'd feel pretty bad personally for dumping another cat on them. If you do have to do that, then please save up a decent donation first, as someone said up thread.

Also, I know this isn't helpful now, but I don't understand people getting pets in rental properties unless they know they're going to be staying put in a home where pets are allowed for the foreseeable future. My sister did this repeatedly - getting cats & then moving to places where she wasn't allowed them - & my poor mum ended up with them all! Though mum did love them.

You're obviously stressed out with your situation so re-homing at least one cat may be the only solution now. But it is a bit frustrating to read your post, as it was all so avoidable. Pets aren't baby substitutes, & you knew you wanted a baby soon. Sometimes things happen that really can't be foreseen & that might necessitate re-homing, but to be honest that's not the case here.

I hope you sort it all out, anyway, & start to feel less anxious soon.

I don't think the cats are the problem here. I wonder whether you might have developed some post-natal anxiety and the cats are the focus of that. Would it be worth speaking to your GP about how you have been feeling and see what they think?

LoonvanBoom the OP said that the first cat was given to the OP by her DH as HE thought it was too soon for a child. That one worked out, it's the second cat that started to cause issues. You can't have a go at the OP for getting a baby substitute when she effectively got one dumped on her in the first place.

Fair point, Ood. It was daft of her DH then!

Cravey have you read the actual thread or just seen the words 'baby', ' cat' and 'rehomed' before you you wrote that? Try having a bit of empathy for a woman who is obviously struggling.
No person with any sense would think that a cat and a baby are alike in any way, or assume that a baby would be 'rehomed' just because the Mother is unhappy. Find some sense from somewhere.

Christ on a bike. They are not toys.. oh do you know what. I cant be bothered

I don't really understand the 'we can't have a baby yet, here's a cat' thing myself in all honesty...

Rehome the second cat if you can ellie. That will stop the fighting / pinching food / pooing where it shouldn't, which in turn will take the pressure off you. Then you can decide how you feel about the second cat. You may find you're a lot more tolerant once the major cat issues are out of the way.

I don't know what to advise about keeping or re homing the cats.

But when I had my DS I couldn't even touch my cats for fear of the germs.

Also the demanding nature of them just felt like the one extra thing I couldnt cope with. I did stick with cats though and those feelings passed as I learnt to cope with parenting and looking back I must have looked like an utter loon with all the cleaning I did.

So these feelings may pass if you give it time, but please look after yourself whatever you decide.

In your shoes I'd definitely try and rehome the second cat. If she is mainly feral she may be happiest on a farm where she can live in an outbuilding. Then I'd see how you get on with the first cat once you only have one.

I don't think rehoming a cat when you're not coping is a crime.

No you didn't ask a question, you made a nasty dig at someone who quite clearly stated further down the thread that she hates herself for feeling this way.
Oh, and assuming that she will rehouse the baby isn't only ridiculous and an awful thing to say, it's brainless.
Fuck off yourself love, there's a dear..

I don't think cats give a shit who feeds them. I would rehome them without second thought.

You do realise that if you get bored of the kid it's gonna be hard to get rid of it don't you ???? Spoiled brat !!!!!

Not sure whether to ignore due to ridiculous overuse of punctuation or do a slow handclap at the most ridiculous post on this thread.

The OP is struggling. She isn't struggling with her baby. She is struggling with a cat.

It is far, FAR more cruel to keep a pet where you cannot deal with it properly rather than rehome it to a home to suit its needs.

My friend had to give her up her beloved cats. She lived in a house belonging to her husband. He started cheating, chucked her out and moved the other woman in. Friend got a job that came with a flat but wasn't allowed pets. So she had to rehome. It isn't about being cruel it is about having to deal with what comes your way.

Cravey "Although to some people pets are just as valuable as kids. Merely asked her a question. By the way. Who the hell are you to assume someone has sense because they think a pet and a child are alike. Fuck off"

BTW you were the one that implied a pet & a child are alike by suggesting the OP would get rid of her child - which you'd know she wouldn't if you'd read the thread or had any sort of sense at all.

But you carry on acting like a tantrumming child if you want dear.

Some people may think that pets are just as valuable as kids. I'm sure they're very happy in their own way, but for those of us that know the truth, humans trump animals every time and certainly don't get too bothered by who is looking after them.

Have a look at a cats head, have a look at how much actual brain space there is once you take jaws, neck, eyes, skull out of the equation.

Now divide that space up into "Eat", "Shit", "Sleep", "Breathe" and "Hunt" - there ain't a lot of space left for pet/owner bonding!!

Stick to your guns OP & do what is best for you.

Cravey you are being unnecessarily rude, you don't seem to have much human empathy either

CaptainGrinch Intelligence isn't determined by brain size.

I still say that the OP is struggling and is looking for solutions to a problem.

She has not driven out into the countryside and shoved the cats out of the car door and turned around. (A former colleague actually did that once when she moved house.... added to that that her cats were declawed as is common in that country for inside cats and you can imagine).

She is looking for a solution to her problem a she perceives it. That is a reasonable, responsible thing to do.

This is what I would do.
Get this thread deleted
Call Rentokil - it's about 110 for two treatments two weeks apart
Treat cats with something from the vet - you and they'll need to be out of the house while the house is sprayed anyway.
Rehome cat 2, make a donation if it makes you feel better.
Stop beating yourself up. It's a cat - if you hadn't homed it for the past year, who knows where it would be by now. It doesn't sound like it will miss you much anyway.
I would keep Cat 1 - I've got two small children and they love our two rescue cats. I have definitely had days when I wished I'd never taken them on though. It's human if you are having a bad day and it's one more chore to do the litter tray and there is a huge difference between two cats and one in smell and dirt. Cat 2 really doesn't sound like it is happy being an indoor cat.
Have these

Do not get rid of the cats before treating the flat. You and your baby will be eaten alive by the fleas.

There have been so many threads like this and the really ardent animal lovers (with no DC) would have it that a child and a pet are one in the same and often very aggressive in this stance but until you have DC you don't know how it'll change you

My two overindulged beautiful fat boys were re-homed to me because their owners got their house re-possessed and were living in a top floor flat. Now they have a house and access to a garden, they are much happier and no longer sh*tting all around the property.

Ummm StillSeekingSpike you're not after two more are you?

I rehomed all but 2 of my cats when we had small kids for similar reasons to you OP. I didn't feel in the slightest bit guilty once I'd made sure they went to good homes - which mine wasn't any more because they needed the sort of home I wasn't going to be giving them.

Take no notice whatsoever of posters who say fucking stupid things about what out having more than 1 kid, or that it makes you a bad person. It really doesn't. Nor will it make your kids grow up to be horrible uncaring people (like the pratts who can see your distress and want to heap all kids of shit on you here - oh the irony! ).

prats
kinds - not kids - kids of shit are a whooole other thread