To not want my cats now the baby's here?

[elliebe13]

2 years ago I really wanted a baby but my husband thought it was too soon so got me a cat instead. She's the gentlest, sweetest cat there is. A year later my friend found a box of abandoned kittens and we took one in. I put all my effort into her and lavished love on her but she's just a grumpy, horrible cat who steals my other cat's food, fights with her and leaves white hair everywhere. She doesn't even like to be stroked. Sometimes she just poops next to the litterbox.

I became really freakish about cleanliness during pregnancy and they're banned from our bedroom and the baby's room. They're both treated for fleas but I still find them on my baby's face occasionally.

I thought my hatred for them would disappear when the baby came but I just really resent them, no matter how much I clean there's hair and dander everywhere, we don't have much space or money really and it's hard to find a decent rented flat for pets.

The second cat needs to go as I am miserable and dreading when the baby starts crawling. I had guests over last night and my friend's coat was just covered with this white hair.

I am going out of my mind. I thought I was an animal lover but I guess I'm not :(

How do your indoor cats keep getting fleas if they don't go outside?

A responsible person understands what they are getting into when they take on a pet. It is quite easy to find out their possible lifespan and then work out whether your circumstances are likely to change, for example by choosing to have children.
If you don't do that, you are being unreasonable.

I'm the biggest animal lover ever, I love my dog she's the loveliest, sweetest best dog ever...but when I got pregnant with dc3 she totally did my head in and I used to say to dh she needs to go. I have no idea what happened to me when I was pg and when ds was tiny but luckily dh must have known I wasn't myself and he refused to give her away and it wasn't long until I felt differently again. So I know how you feel but try not to be hasty. However, you may need to think about re homing cat 2.

what's next, is it ok for them to crap in her cot piss on the furniture, because it will happen...

Really? It will happen? I've always had cats - from before my children were born. Five children and never had cat shit in a cot.

Or piss on the furniture, come to that.

If you prefer to sit on a stinky old cat clawed sofa, that's been shat on, covered in fur and a dash of fleas - Where are you getting this idea that cats run around the house shitting on every available chair/sofa/bed?

I remember when I had the cats, I had to take them to the vets. I was pregnant and I asked the vet about how to best combine cats and babies. I was given this hilarious leaflet about how to prevent your cat from feeling jealous when the baby came. Bonkers. Anyway, I "got rid" by "rehoming" the cats with a friend. They looked fine every time I saw them after that. Just as big and fluffy and cat like as they had before. Really, OP, don't sweat it.

what's next, is it ok for them to crap in her cot piss on the furniture, because it will happen

Really, will it? We got our girls (two Burmese) about seven months before our son was born, and it has never happened. They also do not have fleas, and my son has never had flea bites as a result (nits, on the other hand....blergh).
I never experienced this reduction in affection for them, either. We are a family, and they will always be with us. They've also both been really protective of my son since he was born, and have helped teach him about trust and allowing another living creature its rights (he's not, for instance, allowed to drag them around, or even hold them when they don't want to be held).

'got rid' - like rubbish.

OP, 14 years ago I got sent my 2 cats to an animal shelter when my 2nd child was about three months old and I had a toddler too. I couldn't deal with all the living things weeing in the house and the fur everywhere. It was doing my head in.

I had got them from a charity and if the charity couldn't have had them back, I would have had the cats put down. Like you, this did not make me an evil person and I have gone on to have another child and also another cat (which according to some posters here I should not have done, as some kind of bizarre penance for getting rid of the first cats.)

At the end of the day, they are cats and people are more important than cats. Either get them rehomed or get them put down and get on with your life. Nothing bad will happen.

KittensoftPuppydog "A responsible person understands what they are getting into when they take on a pet. It is quite easy to find out their possible lifespan and then work out whether your circumstances are likely to change, for example by choosing to have children.
If you don't do that, you are being unreasonable."

Tosh. The op did not know/could not have known what her emotional response to the cat would be before she actually experienced it.

soundedbetter ...I am glad you got your cats rehomed but to talk of putting a healthy animal down is dreadful.....you don't get to just end an animal's life because you are fed up with it.

When you take an animal on then ypu do so knowing that there will be a crtain amount of responsibility involved. This does not mean getting the animal killed....and nor should you be telling the OP to do so.

Re-homing is quite possible and to havr an animal put down when other options exist is appalling.

And yes I would say anyone with that attitude should think very carefully before taking responsibility for a cat/dog/whatever.

There are many reasons why an animal needs to be PTS. ....the owner getting fed up with that animal is not one of them.

I can understand why the OP is struggling but it isn't a good enough reason to kill a healthy cat.

if the charity couldn't have had them back, I would have had the cats put down

You are not a suitable person for pets, putting it as mildly as I can.

I'm assuming that all of the posters who are so appalled about killing cats for convenience are vegetarians, and aren't killing other - equally valuable - animals for prime cuts and better gravy. Otherwise, the hypocrisy might adversely affect my blood pressure

Cats are not bred for meat....there is a difference, and yes I am a vegetarian....not that it matters in this case,

Nobody should take on a pet with the cavalier attitude that if they get fed up with them the local friendly vet will dispose of it permenantly. That suggests a throwaway attitude. I did not pick that up from the OP...she just sounds desperate but her cat can be rehomed.

Animals can be rehomed. ....ideally if you take an animal on it should be for life.....but things can change and sometimes continuing to keep a pet is not possible. The owner then has a responsibility to that animal to find a solution and that does not involve putting a healthy pet to sleep for the human's convenience. That is frankly a disgusting attitude to have.

"Cats are not bred for meat....there is a difference"

What is the difference?

Rehome one cat. Start getting into a proper routine and deflea the remaining cat monthly.

1. you will start really liking your cat again when baby is a bit older

2. my boys adore our cat. The cat has taught them compassion, to be gentle, to care and groom. If they ever feel low, the cats are always there for cuddles.

You need to make the effort to sort the fleas and then keep on top of it.

A responsible person understands what they are getting into when they take on a pet. It is quite easy to find out their possible lifespan and then work out whether your circumstances are likely to change, for example by choosing to have children.
If you don't do that, you are being unreasonable.

OP might have foreseen her circumstances changing, however, how could she possibly have known how much her feelings would change?

Jesus! They're only cats!
I'm a vegetarian if it's relevant, so I do care about animals - but people are more important. You've got to do what's right for you and your family.

The reason I would have had them put down is because I would not have wanted them to end up on some second-hand site or risk them going to someone who would neglect them and treat them cruelly. These days charity shelters are full to bursting and have to turn people away.

I think that having even a healthy animal PTS when these are the other options is a sensible, pragmatic decision. In my opinion, those who let their cat have kittens and advertise them for sale have far more blood on their hands than those who have them PTS when there are no other options.

Still, that's just my opinion - MadasFish - I shan't make any personal comments about you, but I can imagine that we probably have a very different outlook on life - c'est la vie .

To those who say that the op couldn't have known her 'emotional response' beforehand, I say sometimes you have to pull yourself together and live with the results of your decisions.
If you are grown up enough to have a child you are grown up enough to do this.
Pathetic behaviour.

kitten are you the sort of person who tells people to grow up and pull themselves together if they have PND?

Ellie - I've sent you a message which I hope is helpful

Honestly ignore the unhelpful postings - crazy stuff :-)

Hope you are ok,

XX

Vampyreof - You what? Nice jump.
Are you the sort of person who .

sounded your second comment was good...it clarified WHY you might take that course of action.

Most shelters will take cats despite being full to bursting......they might well ask you to give them some time to find room though. In an emergency most will do their utmost to find a fosterer for the cat(s).

My friend runs a cat rescue shelter specializing in older cats who are harder to home......she gets them all suitably homed eventually...their longest resident in a foster home was there for 15 months before he was homed. All homes are checked before cats are homed.

You are right about people breeding for profit....not talking about pedigree breeds here but standard cats. Some have no regard for the welfare of the animal at all and see the cat/dog/whatever as a cash cow. They have very little space between pregnancies...cats need to be neutered. All my three have been done...no kittens here....as you say, enough unwanted cats in shelters already.