To not want my cats now the baby's here?

[elliebe13]

2 years ago I really wanted a baby but my husband thought it was too soon so got me a cat instead. She's the gentlest, sweetest cat there is. A year later my friend found a box of abandoned kittens and we took one in. I put all my effort into her and lavished love on her but she's just a grumpy, horrible cat who steals my other cat's food, fights with her and leaves white hair everywhere. She doesn't even like to be stroked. Sometimes she just poops next to the litterbox.

I became really freakish about cleanliness during pregnancy and they're banned from our bedroom and the baby's room. They're both treated for fleas but I still find them on my baby's face occasionally.

I thought my hatred for them would disappear when the baby came but I just really resent them, no matter how much I clean there's hair and dander everywhere, we don't have much space or money really and it's hard to find a decent rented flat for pets.

The second cat needs to go as I am miserable and dreading when the baby starts crawling. I had guests over last night and my friend's coat was just covered with this white hair.

I am going out of my mind. I thought I was an animal lover but I guess I'm not :(

If they're making you unhappy, just re-home them. Don't feel guilty, you're not being horrible, despite what the animal lovers brigade may say. Your baby and your sanity are infinitely more important than two cats that can be re-homed.
In an ideal world an animal is for life, yes. But sometimes pets don't work out. Cats are not babies, they can be re-homed.

You have been treated horribly here by some people.

It's not like you knew this would happen is it? No, it's not nice to have to re-home animals but sometimes it happens. You are probably full of hormones and the anxiety over the germs is causing you great stress, you were not to know you would feel this way. You do not have a crystal ball and didn't know how these issues would affect you.

I am sure you got the cats thinking it would be for life but life changes and you can't always prepare in advance for that.

Get some indorex spray for the house and some advantage for the cats. Hooever lots and they will go within a few weeks. Indorex is fantastic and you can get it cheaper online.

Please do not let anyone here make you feel bad ok? You are always going to get people on these kind of threads making you feel worse than you already do. I am a huge animal lover and have tons myself but right now, your priority is your baby and if it causing you this much stress then re-homing them might be the best way to go. The cats will be ok as long as you find them a good home.

Humans trump pets to me so if you can't work around this do what you need to do.

It sounds as if you rehomed the second cat you could make it work with just the first cat.

Agree you haven't treated your flea problem properly if you're still finding them. Have you treated pets and entire house? Try Indorex for latter.
Not much you can do about the hair, even my Rex cats left hair everywhere at times.

I'd just rehome, and I don't say that lightly. It sounds like the cats would be happier.

My parent's cats got fleas despite constant treatment and it turned into a nightmare. I was still loving at home and the bastard things got into my mattress, we couldn't shift them (this was 20mumble years ago btw) with anything and ended up replacing all the mattresses and having the whole house practically emptied and deep cleaned. They spent an absolute fortune on trying to get rid of the things!

We've just visited our local cat rescue and was shocked to see more than one that was there "because of a baby". We've chosen one and she will be coming to live in our home with 3 young children.

If you do send them for rehoming, make sure you leave a hefty donation and make a promise to yourself to never have another pet.

Sparkling, I agree that people's situations change, of course they do. And re-homing an animal doesn't make someone a bad person, certainly not. The OP does give the impression that the cats were taken on to substitutes for a baby, which I don't think is a good idea for getting a pet. The OP must have known that the baby would come along sooner rather than later. In saying that, I do see that she didn't know how she'd feel once the baby arrived.

OP you are obviously having difficulties so as said before the kindest thing for you, and the cats, would be to re-home them, but to do so following the above advice (get them on a waiting list, de flea them completely etc.).

I think my most hated thing to hear about is people getting rid of their pets because they've had a baby.

I have a dog, he's messy and hard work, he sheds hair like mad and sometimes I Hoover 3 times a day... He doesn't like the green biscuits in his dried food so constantly spits them out... He escaped the garden the other day and it was mortifying. He's got endless energy and needs walking more than the average dog, or pricey doggy day care if we're out for a whole day. Once he even chewed up a paddington bear I've had since I was a baby and I was devastated...

But he's part of my family, we thought long and hard about getting him and don't consider him disposable.

Your poor cats. Lets hope your baby doesn't grow up to be messy or hard work.

What a hard time you've been getting on this thread.
I understand how you feel as I felt the same about my dogs once I had crawling babies.
When we moved into our brand new house I had a 3yo and a newborn and I just couldn't put up with mud and hair and constant cleaning so now they don't come in the house, just the utility room and have free run outside and kennels.
It was hard and I feel really bad but it was that or end up hating them.
If I could have rehomed them I would have but I felt too guilty. Now I just feel guilty that they have a poorer life and I have no time for them so it probably would have been best to rehome them.
So do what is best for you!

Yes, because the OP is really going to rehouse the baby. How ridiculous. A baby deserves a mother who is fit, well and happy not ground down by everything including cat hair and a flea problem getting on top of her. Would you prefer to see a cat happy or a human being who is responsible for a newborn child?
Or shouldn't I ask that question?

It isn't true that you need to treat your home as well.

It may be an issue short term if the cat leaves before she is treated fully.

We used Advocate, and then when our cat became intolerant of it, stronghold. We didn't have a flea problem at all once we were using those. Frontline didn't work before that and we did have some fleas in the house and a lot on the cat - only for a few months when it had ceased to work. As soon as we changed the problem stopped.

And I thought we might get fleas hatching once she had gone, but we haven't had any and she went in November/December.

I have never used a flea spray or anything like it and we are very low key with housework, too. Once the animal is treated, you shouldn't have any problems.

Also fleas will die after a month or two without cats to feed on. They can't live on human blood.

I have some sympathy. Fleas are horrid, and like PPs have said, you'll need to do the house as well as the cats.

I'm finding my cats a pain now, I'm forever chucking them out of the cot, and when I finally offload velcro baby onto her dad at the end of the day, the last thing I want is furry purry paws padding all over me. But, I love the cats really. I've had BigFurry 9 years now, they're both part of the family, and once I've got my shit together again I'll appreciate them again, and DD is fascinated by them.

Grit your teeth, get a covered litter tray and fake it til you make it.

This just proves my theory that people are stupid for getting pets as a baby substitute. Seriously. Get the pets after you have kids and add them to your family.

Definitely sort out proper flea treatment, (I would find this hard to live with even without a baby), and perhaps try some different litter if it is getting smelly. I use one called 'cats best OKO plus' which is plant based (cellulose), and you sieve the wee 'lumps' and solids out each day which can be flushed down the toilet. It doesn't smell of cat wee as the fibres absorb it really well into lumps, rather than it congealing at the bottom, and solids don't smell so bad either. If you sieve out the lumps every day, you then only have to change the whole box every few weeks (I do it about every month, but my 2 cats go outside sometimes). Also if you don't already have one, get a covered litter tray with a flap. Then you can't see the litter and also cat will have a little more privacy which can make them happier (good to keep fingers out when baby is crawling too!).
It does sound like the more difficult cat might be happier to be rehomed. TBH even without the baby issue it sounds like she isn't that happy in your house; perhaps she would prefer to be somewhere she can go outside as she wishes, if she's not that fussed about humans. You already rescued her, remember. Call a rescue and have a discussion with them. It's always sad when a cat has to be rehomed but genuinely, what is the alternative here? It sounds like you are likely to be able to cope with the other cat but if you try to keep both, you may end up wanting to rehome both. It won't be too long before your baby is old enough to interact with the cat and they will probably both love it!

Curiousgeorge.

Yes.. Op is likely to get rid of her child isn't she? that is exactly the same as re-homing a pet.

What a stupid horrible thing to say.

But I guess a cat is more important than the OP.

No, home doesn't necessarily need to be treated if cats are going. But the cat hair is something you'd expect to have to deal with, potentially, if you're thinking of owning a cat (requiring grooming and/or vaccing to keep on top of). Likewise dealing with fleas.

Litterbox and behavioural problems can be trickier and more disheartening, I think. And I can see how this may be wearing for the OP.

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers "yes because older animals with their expenses should be dumped on new owners and on charities.
Brilliant!! Now I know what to do with my older dog- just dump him on a new owner!
Reality check- do you know how crowded shelters across the country are???"

Really? Read the OP then Grow Up. She's not just dumping them "because" FFS, it's because everything is getting on top of her.

Don't put your older dog in a home, just put him down if you don't want him.

As everyone says, these poor cats apparently won't know what's hit them if someone else starts feeding them so take 'em to the vets & sort it that way....

Loving the fact that the cats welfare is more important than that of the new mother...... Nothing like getting your priorities right and that's nothing like it

The fleas definitely need tackling now, whether or not the cats are going to be rehomed. If the cats go the fleas will target resident humans instead!
Fleas lay eggs which drop off into the carpets and home environment and hatch out from there to reinfest the cat so just treating the pet is just the tip of the iceberg. Using a good household spray can help to knockdown some of the lifestages of the flea but not all. Spot on treatments vary in how effective they are,but none of them are instant kill so it will take a while for the adult fleas to die,and unless you're using a product that contains an insect growth regulator ,they can still lay eggs until they die which can still potentially hatch out later.
"Comfortis" tablets given monthly,which you can get from your vet, have the fastest speed of kill,fleas will die in under an hour so it breaks the lifecycle effectively. Once treated,if the cats are free in the house they'll act like magnets for the fleas ,which will then be killed. If cat fleas are about and there aren't any cats nearby,fleas will quite happily hop on and bite the nearest available human.
Fleas can carry tapeworm too , it's important to worm the cats regularly too, especially with a baby in the house.
It sounds like Cat2 has behavioural issues, some cats are not happy in a multicat household and can find it very stressful, especially in confined spaces and sharing litter trays,it could account for some of the pooing inappropriately.
It sounds like rehoming is going to be the best option for the welfare of your cats.

Oh yes, I'd personally still definitely treat the house for fleas, no matter what now happens to the cats. Yes, they'd disappear eventually, but it would feel a bit grim in the meantime.

Does the landlord know that you have flee ridden cats in his/her property?

What does your contract say about pet ownership?

My friend completely went off her two cats when her twins were babies but is now quite fond of them again. Do you think it's just a hormonal phase?

Place the poor creatures in a cat shelter so they can be taken on by someone who actually cares about them and never, ever get another pet. Pets are living beings to be taken on for life, they're not disposable lighters or toys to be got rid of when you're fed up with them, but it seems that this has escaped your notice so they'd be better off without you.

I used to love all animals, I mean I would drag home anything half dead and nurse it back to life spend a fortune on special drops lovingly squirting them in the eye etc...

and then got two absolute cock wads for cats. Honestly, I can't stand them. Everything they do irrationally annoys me, cat fur/ sick/poo all the stuff that's just part of being a cat owner now winds me up.

I felt bad for a while but then kind of realised it was like getting a really crap flatmate. You can't love every animals that comes past you, they all have their own personalities etc.

Dh loves them and they love him (won't come near me, though I rescued them and spent a good year trying to get them to like me) so I can't give them to another home. We pass in the night, I give them evils..they causally ignore me and wipe themselves on my husband.

If your partner loves the cats and they have someone who cares for them, I would't rehome them. If he doesn't they would be happier with someone else.

Can't see how you have fleas if they don't go outside though? Have you flea bombed the house?

My two overindulged beautiful fat boys were re-homed to me because their owners got their house re-possessed and were living in a top floor flat. Now they have a house and access to a garden, they are much happier and no longer sh*tting all around the property.
Frankly, three people and two cats in one flat with no access to outside sounds grim. Stop beating yourself up, concentrate on the baby and hopefully your cats will also find a weirdo catlady like me

why are people comparing pets to babies? why WOULD OP resent her baby for being messy? Quite blatantly, her feelings towards her child are different to those towards her cat...