Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if and why you Christened your baby?

211 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 12/02/2014 17:14

Currently 34 weeks pregnant with mine and DH's first baby

I was not Christened myself, have never been bought up with religion in my life or particularly believing in it and I would never think to have the baby Christened.

My DH was Christened but is not religious. He teaches at a Catholic School (circumstantial, not because he 'believes') and although he attends certain services with the school he otherwise has nothing to do with the Church.

He announced yesterday that he wants to get the baby Christened - I asked him why and he came out with some line like, "It's just what's done isn't it?"

I said that neither of us were religious so what's the point? He then dared to say, "I think my mom would be upset if we didn't...." Shock

I told him it's not his mother's baby and it's nothing to do with her!!
(there have been previous issues with him wanting to please MIL)

Has anyone else had their baby Christened, despite not being religious, purel as you felt there is a sense in society that all babies should be Christened 'just because' ??

OP posts:
Sadoldbag · 12/02/2014 17:16

Justin case I like to have all bases covered Grin

jennifleurs · 12/02/2014 17:17

Am Atheist so no Christening for my LO.

TheScience · 12/02/2014 17:18

We didn't, we're not religious so what would the point be?

Had a naming day though so could still do all the stuff that was meaningful to us and skip the meaningless bits.

WorraLiberty · 12/02/2014 17:18

No I didn't

I was raised as Catholic but I'm not religious and nor is my DH

ArgyMargy · 12/02/2014 17:18

I didn't. DM was probably upset, but we felt it would be totally hypocritical. I've been to lots of Christenings for babies whose parents never go near a church. I feel sorry for the priests (well, not really).

wyldchyld · 12/02/2014 17:19

OH and I are having a civil ceremony for our wedding and have said when we do have DCs, they will have a civil naming ceremony. I suspect several family members on both side will disapprove but we aren't religious. Why don't you look at a naming ceremony? Means there is the celebration of welcoming Baby and officially naming them without the religious stuff.

Sirzy · 12/02/2014 17:20

I am Christian so DS is christened it made sense for us.

What about a naming ceremony?

Joysmum · 12/02/2014 17:20

No we haven't. I don't believe in God but said that if DH wanted to get her done he could without me. DD can be baptized if she chooses to be. It's a choice for her to make for herself.

worldgonecrazy · 12/02/2014 17:22

I am a naming celebrant. We do lots of ceremonies for parents who want "the done thing" without bringing religion into the mix. They are a lot if fun, and mean that relatives who want to celebrate the baby's arrival get to go to a party.

cory · 12/02/2014 17:22

I am the only Christian in my birth family and having already as it were got membership of the church through christening made it that little bit easier when I decided I wanted to get confirmed.

No doubt it was just a pretty ceremony to my parents, but it was useful to me. (and we haven't fallen out in any way over my faith)

My brothers who were also christened have never been troubled by it: they just chose not to take it further.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 12/02/2014 17:23

I've been to a naming ceremony and found it to be very pretentious - I feel the same way about them as I do Baby Showers Grin

Why do babies need to be 'officially named' ?? Isn't that what Registry Offices are for? Smile

OP posts:
ChutesTooNarrow · 12/02/2014 17:23

No, we are not religious. I firmly believe christening should be a choice you make when you are older. It has always been a really sore point between me and parents that I was christened just to please a grandparent. I would love to unchristen myself!

SweetPeaPods · 12/02/2014 17:24

I was christened, DH doesn't think he was.
We are not regularly church goers but I wouldn't say I don't believe. It's really done to time, working shifts etc.
however DS is getting christened. I feel that he should be, he's then official if that makes sense. He will also be welcomed into the church community. I'm looking forward to the little celebration for ds.

Only1scoop · 12/02/2014 17:25

We do both believe but don't attend church. I've always felt a bit uneasy rocking up to local church just to ask about christenings when we don't attend.
We will get around to it though. Will be just dp and I....can't stand all that fuss with relatives.
I think some people do just see it as the 'norm' I get where you are coming from though.

TheScience · 12/02/2014 17:25

And you base that on your experience of going to one naming ceremony Hmm

It's not really about officially naming a child, it's about welcoming them into a community/family and celebrating their arrival. A christening is welcoming a baby into the church.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 12/02/2014 17:25

Your DH is being unreasonable. We haven't christened DS because neither of us are religious. Neither of us are christened either.

Your DH has no logic to his argument. You're allowed to make your own choices!

LoreleisSecret · 12/02/2014 17:26

I did yes.

I went to a Church of England primary and do believe in the religion but, Iam not practising at all.
My childrens dad is atheist.

We both decided it was something we wanted to do for our children.
Iam glad I did it, it was a wonderful celebration, my children love going to church and reading their bibles.
It has made us feel a part of our local community, our children have close relationships with their godparents and it was a great day to remember!

pjmama · 12/02/2014 17:26

Not religious but MIL is. She was so amazing and unobtrusively helpful when our DTs came along and it meant so much to her that we decided to go ahead and do it.

DanceParty · 12/02/2014 17:26

My son was christened because PIL were very religious and were very upset that we were possibly not going to do it. We did.

We've never practiced religion since, so......PIL = happy, us = happy. No problems, and peace kept.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 12/02/2014 17:28

"It's not really about officially naming a child, it's about welcoming them into a community/family and celebrating their arrival"

Sounds like an excuse to have a party then Smile

My baby is going to be welcome in the family whether we have a ceremony or not. I honestly just don't understand the point of them. BTW, I'm not criticising those who do see a reasoning behind them and choose to have them, but it's not something I or DH would do.

OP posts:
LydiaCrawford · 12/02/2014 17:28

Both DH and I were christened.
DC are not. We are atheists.

MinesAPintOfTea · 12/02/2014 17:29

ds was baptised (catholic). I found it all uncomfortable as an atheist but dh is a church going Catholic so I agreed for his sake and also school admissions

TheScience · 12/02/2014 17:30

Almost any ceremony is an excuse for a party/celebration though isn't it? Otherwise everyone would just go and sign the papers for their marriage and not bother with the wedding.

BabyMummy29 · 12/02/2014 17:31

I go to church and had a dedication service for mine as my church believes in adult baptism. My DD decided to get baptised when she was 18 but my DS never goes near church!

Of course I had nonsense from non church-attending MIL as other grandchildren had been christened and had big parties afterwards.

Caitlin17 · 12/02/2014 17:31

No. I'm an atheist, why would I?