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Original poster

To ask if and why you Christened your baby?

211 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 12/02/2014 17:14

Currently 34 weeks pregnant with mine and DH's first baby

I was not Christened myself, have never been bought up with religion in my life or particularly believing in it and I would never think to have the baby Christened.

My DH was Christened but is not religious. He teaches at a Catholic School (circumstantial, not because he 'believes') and although he attends certain services with the school he otherwise has nothing to do with the Church.

He announced yesterday that he wants to get the baby Christened - I asked him why and he came out with some line like, "It's just what's done isn't it?"

I said that neither of us were religious so what's the point? He then dared to say, "I think my mom would be upset if we didn't...." Shock

I told him it's not his mother's baby and it's nothing to do with her!!
(there have been previous issues with him wanting to please MIL)

Has anyone else had their baby Christened, despite not being religious, purel as you felt there is a sense in society that all babies should be Christened 'just because' ??

OP posts:
mymiraclebubba · 15/02/2014 12:59

both DP and I were christened and neither of us are church goers but i do have a faith of sorts although i do tend to have my own take on a lot of it which causes some interesting debates with a good friend who is a lay preacher :)

we had DD christened because it was important to me that she was officially welcomed into the faith i follow it was also important to DP's mum and as she was dying I felt that it wasn't an unreasonable request. Unfortunately she died 3 weeks before the christening but i am still glad we did it.

if you don't want a christening perhaps a naming ceremony and a church blessing to please the MIL would be a good compromise?

HollyMiamiFLA · 15/02/2014 13:11

You can be welcomed in to the church at birth. But then not really welcomed if you happen to be gay and want to get married or if you are a woman and want to be a Bishop.

Maybe the welcome needs some smallprints?

yourlittlesecret · 15/02/2014 13:21

We did even though we are both atheists.
It was for the benefit of all four grandparents who were religious and for them it was important. To us it was harmless.
DC went to a small village primary with strong connections to the local church, so when little they did Christingles and harvest festivals.

It did neither of them any harm, made the GP very happy, and they are now teenage atheists Grin

VelmaD · 15/02/2014 13:30

I got both my boys christened at 3 months, same age I was christened. I am a Christian - not a huge church goer, but I do "believe" and the children and I go at Christmas, mothers day, Easter etc to learn the religious reasoning behind it all. I wasn't confirmed but am happy that I was christened as a baby, as its left me able to make my own choice further on. I do tick Christian on any forms etc and do class myself as having a religion though.

brokenhearted55a · 15/02/2014 14:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sortyourmakeupout · 15/02/2014 15:13

Why cant you just support him in what he would like to do?

I have never seen the point of a naming ceremony to be honest. I think they are just a silly excuse for a day oyt without having to commit to religion.

ThatBloodyWoman · 15/02/2014 15:17

I was christened.
My dc's aren't.
I don't believe so it's an expensive and pointless exercise.

brooncoo · 15/02/2014 16:12

Only1scoop "I have friends who have practically Become 'overnight' Catholics/Christians etc. Attending church just to get ahead in the school admissions procedures....when admitting they don't believe at all.
Each to their own....doesn't sit quite right with me though."

As long as they have this to my mind unfair education system then I think people are perfectly entitled do do what they feel they need to, to get their kids into a school they are happy with. Why should folk miss out on the very good school across the road.

ashtrayheart · 15/02/2014 16:14

No, because I'm not religious.

VegetariansTasteLikeChicken · 15/02/2014 16:21

Why cant you just support him in what he would like to do?

BUt the OP isn't going to commit her child to religion even if she has a christening.

If one partner is an atheist and one religious and the atheist wanted to have a ceremony declaring religion a load of bollocks should the other partner support them?

Because a Christening flies in the face of everything an atheist believes in.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 15/02/2014 17:55

Exactly vegetarians - me 'supporting him' would mean me standing in what is supposed to be a sacred building and telling outright lies and inwardly seething about all the things being said that I don't believe in. The Christening would have no bearing at all on anything, our child certainly wouldn't be raised to be religious and would never set foot in a Church again during its childhood.

I don't have any religious beliefs at all but I fully respect those that do and I don't think I can put myself through a Ceremony knowing I don't believe any of it, when it is something very sacred to others. I feel like I'd be making a mockery out of other people's faith and religion and I'd just feel like such a hypocrite. I would feel very, very, uncomfortable about it all.

OP posts:
brokenhearted55a · 15/02/2014 18:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 15/02/2014 18:15

I don't partake in Easter and I see Christmas as a time to spend time with my family. We swap presents but there certainly isn't anything religious about our celebrations. I certainly wouldn't go to Mass or anything like that.

Swapping presents at Christmas is not the same as taking part in a formal and sacred religious ceremony where I am asked to promise lie that I will raise my child up in a way deemed appropriate by God and announce that I turn away from the Devil etc - who I obviously don't believe in anyway.

Surely it isn't right to partake in such a ceremony when I don't believe in any of it??

OP posts:
brokenhearted55a · 15/02/2014 18:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 15/02/2014 18:22

I don't want to bother, but my husband keeps mentioning it and that's the problem. I'd feel happier if he could give me a genuine reason as to why he feels it necessary but he hasn't really got one....

OP posts:
HollyMiamiFLA · 15/02/2014 18:23

Bingo

VegetariansTasteLikeChicken · 15/02/2014 20:12

Brokenheart Calling it "christmas" iis the way ENglish speakers refer to a Winter festival that has been around for thousands of years. That was taken over by Christans (like Easter) to get people on board. MOst of the symbolism has fuck all to do with Jesus

Giving someone a present at Christmas no more means the Op is celebrating the birth of Jesus than you belive in Santa

brooncoo · 15/02/2014 20:30

FGS, we are raised in a broadly Christian country where religion and all the festivals and symbolism was rammed down our throats whether we wanted it or not. Religion is still embedded in the running of the country and our education system whether we agree or not. Let folk enjoy and take what elements of this which suits them or which they want to. You really expect them to suddenly not take part in the fun side of it all (which is impossible to escape from as it's as much cultural as having faith) when they had to accept the not so fun side, pft!

TheScience · 15/02/2014 20:40

Can someone point me to the bit in the bible where it says trees and presents are essential parts of the religious celebration of Jesus's birth? Or in fact that Easter (the name of an ancient goddess by the way) needs to include bunnies, chicks and eggs?

CheerfulYank · 16/02/2014 02:21

If your DP were religious I'd say let him do it, but if he doesn't believe either, meh. If you're uncomfortable with it, don't.

TeacupDrama · 16/02/2014 09:29

I am a commited christian DH is a christian but less so: my background is baptist I was baptised when i was 21 DH when he was a baby. myself and DD (4 years) go to a baptist church (DH a few times a year) but she is not baptised and does not have Godparents. I hope she will be baptised later when she is ready to make this commitment herself and understands it, I think she would need to be at least 13 to do this. I want her to be a christian but I can not make her be one.

Nowhere in the bible ( if you believe literally) does it say you need to be baptised to go to heaven, in fact on cross jesus said to repentant thief "today you will be with me in paradise" no time for baptism
in old testament male children were circumcised there was no equivalent for females, but circumcision never guaranteed heaven either
in bible feasts were generally marked by feasting it is the food that is mentioned in bible I can see that presents maybe part of the celebrations too so presents would not be wrong but neither could you say they were needed, the bible also describes times of fasting too but they are generally conveniently ignored ( however Lent is not one of them)

the science the word Easter is also not in the bible the greek word occasionally translated as easter should actually be translated as "passover"
there is no biblical mandate to celebrate christ's birth and the mandated way to remember Christ's death is not Easter but Communion/Mass? Lord's Supper depending on how exactly you celebrate that

fanoftheinvisibleman · 16/02/2014 12:04

As an atheist I cannot reconcile with sending your child to a church school either tbh. I know this won't be popular and I would never say it in rl but in my mind all religion is like a strange cult. Quite frankly it should play no part in education as far as I am concerned and there is not a chance that I would hand my child over to a religious school for an education brainwashing .

I accept that in some areas there is little choice. I think it is utterly wrong. We now live in a house we hate, in no small part because we had a choice between rubbish local school or RC local school. We moved. I really do feel that strongly about it though that I would move my whole life if church schools were my only option. I appreciate my attitude is to the extreme though and is probably why DH refers to me as a fundamentalist atheist!

But I cannot understand why an atheist would want to hand over their child for a religious education.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 16/02/2014 12:18

I suppose it is commonly thought that children who go to religious schools get better educations? Or are generally better behaved? Or there is less chance your child would be socialising with children who drink and take drugs and have underage sex etc.....

I'm not saying this is the case as I don't know, but I imagine it is a train of thought....

OP posts:
fanoftheinvisibleman · 16/02/2014 12:35

Not enough to persuade me to submit my child for brainwashing as far as I am concerned. I had the 'good morals' arguement from a family member. I resent the fact that some people think that religion is the only way to have morals.

Pigsmummy · 16/02/2014 13:35

I am a church goer and wanted my baby christened for inclusion. I actually fretted that she was seven months old by the time we could be fitted in (religion isn't dying off here!) I would have done this sooner if I could. I feel that she is now blessed by God and part of our religion.

From personal experience religion is easier to opt out of rather than into. If she decides that she doesn't want to believe or practise religion then it's her decision (I will still include her in my prayers) but I have done my best by her in having her baptised. This is my reason and I am not judging anyone else.