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Original poster

To ask if and why you Christened your baby?

211 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 12/02/2014 17:14

Currently 34 weeks pregnant with mine and DH's first baby

I was not Christened myself, have never been bought up with religion in my life or particularly believing in it and I would never think to have the baby Christened.

My DH was Christened but is not religious. He teaches at a Catholic School (circumstantial, not because he 'believes') and although he attends certain services with the school he otherwise has nothing to do with the Church.

He announced yesterday that he wants to get the baby Christened - I asked him why and he came out with some line like, "It's just what's done isn't it?"

I said that neither of us were religious so what's the point? He then dared to say, "I think my mom would be upset if we didn't...." Shock

I told him it's not his mother's baby and it's nothing to do with her!!
(there have been previous issues with him wanting to please MIL)

Has anyone else had their baby Christened, despite not being religious, purel as you felt there is a sense in society that all babies should be Christened 'just because' ??

OP posts:
MinesAPintOfTea · 12/02/2014 17:31

X-post it is something your dh would do it appears, even if after discussion you decide together not to, his default was the christening.

Icelollycraving · 12/02/2014 17:33

Ds was christened. It meant a lot to me,dh not so much.
I was returning to work & ds was starting at nursery & I wanted a kind of reassurance that he was being watched & guided iyswim. It was a lovely service. It was at a church where he was born (we didn't live there at the time) & we have just moved there. I'm looking forward to taking him to church. The vicar is completely lovely & a bit intense. I like the fact he found God later in life & had lived a bit!

Icelollycraving · 12/02/2014 17:35

He wasn't born at the church,I meant the area.

eltsihT · 12/02/2014 17:37

I have had both my dc baptised. I attend church regularly. Dh doesn't believe and attended the services, stood with me but didn't make any promises.

We do not have godparents for either child.

Snatchoo · 12/02/2014 17:37

No.

It means nothing to me, it just seems like another party where the child/parents get given presents. I don't know one person who has a relationship with their godparent.

MIL asked us, but I just told her it wasn't for us. Mind you, DH and I were never in disagreement about it!

Hendricks · 12/02/2014 17:41

I'm not christened, but DH is - though isn't religious. Neither of the DC are christened (and #3 won't be either). MIL tried convincing DH to get the DC christened when they were small, but as we'd made the decision not to have them christened before I was pregnant with #1 it was a complete non starter.

I fully expect MIL to bring the subject up again with DH when #3 is born. I suspect she hasn't raised it with me as I will be very firm nowhere near as nice about not getting them christened as DH.

elliejjtiny · 12/02/2014 17:43

We do adult baptisms at our church so the dc were dedicated when they were babies. We wanted to let them decide for themselves about baptism but still wanted a service in the church to thank God for their safe arrival.

NannyPeach · 12/02/2014 17:46

I am atheist. Dh is agnostic. Pil are extremely religious Christians. We did not christen our dcs, although Dh did think we should at first as 'it's the done thing in his family'.

mistermakersgloopyglue · 12/02/2014 17:49

I wanted ds baptised catholic for several reasons including it just feeling right (I am not really religious, but there is definitely some kind of catholic community draw which made me want to do it) and also to cover all bases when it comes to schools (which is proving to be a very wise decision right now!).

Dh is staunchly atheist, but was happy to go along with it (and our carholic wedding) because he felt it was no skin off his nose.

I don't really get the whole 'naming ceremony' thing apart from to get more presents!

jojoanna · 12/02/2014 17:53

We did. Fil was going on and on he was very religious so we had a very small christening

Mumofjz · 12/02/2014 18:11

Mine aren't christened but my mother believed that baptism (christening) is a sacrament that admits them into the family of God, and thought that should anything happen to the baby that you would want them there than the other place.

My believe was that something as pure as a baby/child would not be turned away from the house of god.
Also believe that you don't have to have a faith under your belt so to speak to be a moral, loving person

Beanymonster · 12/02/2014 18:19

I am religious, my dp isn't, he said it's entirely up to me, I decided against it as I wanted my dd to make her own decision about it, sometimes she attends church with me, sometimes she stays at home with dp, depending on how she is (she's 1!) hth!

SirChenjin · 12/02/2014 18:22

It was important to DH as a member of the C of Scotland. 2 of the DCs were christened in church, followed by a buffet lunch at a hotel. DC3 was christened by DH's family Minister in a hotel which was able to cater for FIL who was very disabled by that time.

winterhat · 12/02/2014 18:27

Agree that a Christening is not a naming ceremony. The baby already has a name.

It's about welcoming them into the church family and for relatives, godparents and the church family agreeing to support them.

The Church of England is there for everyone in the parish so will accept all Christenings if its what the parents choose. But equally if a family decide that the meaning of a Christening isn't for them, they do of course have many other options for party-throwing.

JakeBullet · 12/02/2014 18:35

We didn't have DS baptised as a baby...despite MIL asking if we would (she does like an "occasion" Grin). Neither of us were church goers and I didn't see the point.

Fast forward 8 years and DS is badgering me to go to the Saturday "colouring club" with a friend. The "colouring club" turned out to be preparation for children making their first holy communion in the Catholic Church! I discussed this with DS, and explained it would mean attending church....and he wanted to go.

Within a year he was baptised, had made his first Holy Communion and was serving as an Altar boy! Meanwhile I had been co opted into the choir (which I love).

Fast forward another two years and the novelty of church going has well and truly worn off for DS but as I am now a regular part of the choir and a single parent he has to attend.....much to his annoyance.

He does love the altar serving though...but won't do it on a Sunday as the church is too packed. We go on a Tuesday evening and he enjoys that.....plus any Mass in school (twice a year).

So....no we didn't bother with it in his baby years but he wanted it at 8/9.....fair enough.

Pigeonhouse · 12/02/2014 18:55

No, because we both grew up Catholic and don't fancy signing our innocent, beautiful baby up to a corrupt, misogynistic organisation of elderly celibates who routinely cover up the rape of small children.

And yes, all four grandparents are devout and were upset, but you'd have to be very drunk, foolhardy or have a deathwish to tackle me on the subject.

LimitedEditionLady · 12/02/2014 19:00

We didnt,we arent religious.One of us was christened catholic and the other c of e.This even caused an argument of which faith the baby would be christened into with grandparents being particularly nasty and personal about it.We dont follow religion so decided enough is enough we will make this decision to let the child decide what they believe.Still get hassled about it now but even if we did it to please them there wouldve still been the arguing.

SeaSickSal · 12/02/2014 19:03

Do you have actual deepseated objections to it OP?

When you have a child you have to accept that they are part of your in laws family too and sometimes they will have different traditions and events in their family. If this really means something to your husband and his family I would at least consider it.

I'm not sure why him trying to 'please his mum' is such a problem too. Most people without difficult backgrounds try and be nice to their parents.

TeWiSavesTheDay · 12/02/2014 19:06

No we didn't.

There was a bit of wavering because dh was in the process of giving up on the Catholic church when I was pg with dd1. (I am agnostic, so would not have minded if dh wanted to)

They haven't had a naming ceremony either. I don't think they have lost out on anything for not having either a christening or a naming day.

TeWiSavesTheDay · 12/02/2014 19:08

Also, the very catholic parts of dhs family were not at all offended by our choice. I thought they woukd push for it, but they were very respectful.

It's worth finding out whether your mil will actually care or not!

LimitedEditionLady · 12/02/2014 19:10

We didnt,we arent religious.One of us was christened catholic and the other c of e.This even caused an argument of which faith the baby would be christened into with grandparents being particularly nasty and personal about it.We dont follow religion so decided enough is enough we will make this decision to let the child decide what they believe.Still get hassled about it now but even if we did it to please them there wouldve still been the arguing.

youbethemummylion · 12/02/2014 19:12

Mine arent christened reason being neither me ir DH believe in God what our parents think has no bearing and christening because its the done thing makes no sense to me.

HappyMummyOfOne · 12/02/2014 19:32

DS is not christened as neither DH or I are religious, he can decide for himself when he is old enough re religion. Christenings wherer parents are not religious seem pointless and just about the party and presents.

Cant abide naming ceremonies, every child has a name Hmm Agree its on a par with baby showers ie a ploy to get gifts.

natwebb79 · 12/02/2014 19:37

I don't understand the posters saying the OP should go ahead to please her in laws. how can anybody stand for n church and make promises to 'God' when they don't believe a bloody word of it just to please somebody else? Odd.

natwebb79 · 12/02/2014 19:39

I didn't have a naming ceremony but the ones I've been to were a gorgeous celebration of the baby entering the world. Unlike the catholic christening I had to walk out of once they starting bleating on about the devil or some such tripe. and they didn't want any gifts. Just a nice low key gathering with friends and family.