To ask if and why you Christened your baby?

[Writerwannabe83]

Currently 34 weeks pregnant with mine and DH's first baby

I was not Christened myself, have never been bought up with religion in my life or particularly believing in it and I would never think to have the baby Christened.

My DH was Christened but is not religious. He teaches at a Catholic School (circumstantial, not because he 'believes') and although he attends certain services with the school he otherwise has nothing to do with the Church.

He announced yesterday that he wants to get the baby Christened - I asked him why and he came out with some line like, "It's just what's done isn't it?"

I said that neither of us were religious so what's the point? He then dared to say, "I think my mom would be upset if we didn't...."

I told him it's not his mother's baby and it's nothing to do with her!!
(there have been previous issues with him wanting to please MIL)

Has anyone else had their baby Christened, despite not being religious, purel as you felt there is a sense in society that all babies should be Christened 'just because' ??

Completely agree with Happymum ...
Strongly dislike naming ceremonies/baby showers....
All children christened, my dh doesn't believe in God but respects that I do have strong feelings towards a higher being and never fail to be moved by "something" in church.
I guess I'm saying, yes I do believe God. For me it feels like the right thing to do.

So that the dc can make their own decision about whether to go further and take communion and be confirmed when that time comes. If they don't, fine, if they do, well, then they have the relevant ceremony of christening already sewn up.

Oh and you might be interested to hear I am Protestant and dh is RC. Dc are christened RC as it matters more to him... But he is now responsible if you like for the rest of it

I agree Natweb79. A Christening is a religious commitment not a party. It has feck all to do with the PIL and it would be ridiculous for atheists to christen their DC.

I'm not a person of faith. DH is. It was deal breaker for DH that any DC would be Christened. All this was discussed and agreed before we got married.

i did, because i believe in god, i attend church and am a very "modern" christian.

i'd be gutted if my DD decided not to get any future grandchildren christened, but nothing i could do about it.

it's a lovely service, welcomes the child into the christian community, should they want to be welcomed when old enough to make the decision. i don't think it's ridiculous for atheists to christen their children.

I think churches are lovely venues and lend the right air to such a ceremony like a wedding.

Also if you happen to live in an area where you have roots, there is something very very special about standing in the same spot as your parents, your grandparents and so on. as they took their vows, christened their babies , you perhaps and so on..

I had a great party for our DD and I felt it was a sort of welcome to the world party, as well as a nice occasion, and the things the priest said did resonate with us as non christians.

Practising Christian (adult baptism) married to sympathetic agnostic, and did not.

We considered it, but were not comfortable with the promises we were going to be asked to make, and were not prepared to lie or hedge.

We had a service of thanksgiving (replaced the old "churching") with open invitation to the congregation and to friends and relations. No problem with any of the liturgy.

But honestly the catsbum faces we got from non-practising non-believers in the extended family who couldn't possibly imagine why we wouldn't baptise an oblivious infant

As it happens we are currently debating what to do for DC3 because although we still have links to church and visit weekly, our incumbent vicar is ... well, he's a dreadful bigot and he doesn't speak for me, so I would feel hypocritical asking him to welcome my child into "his" church in any official way.

A naming ceremony doesn't need to be about "getting gifts", I think it is entirely different to a "baby shower" (very American). Much more meaningful...it can be a lovely day.
Ex SIL had one and there were no gifts...apart from MIL buying a watch for her grandson to put away.

We christened no. 1 as it was the requirement of the priest who married us that he also baptize out child. We had a catholic wedding an baptism to please my husband' smother and grandmother. Neither of us are religious.

We had promised to baptize further children as well, but the church where we live now in the USA has baptismal classes. My husband attended two before refusing to go back as he wasn't willing to lie to please people. The classes were full of questions such as how you celebrate god every day in your child's life, what sort of grace you say with them etc. I don't believe in indoctrinating my kids like that. I regret the first baptism.

Both dh and I were christened as babies. None of our dcs have been though as we're not religious I'm a total non-believer
Pil are very religious though and were very put out we didn't want our dc christened at their church.
I think it would have been hypocritical of me to get my dc christened and say words that I don't agree with. Dc can choose their own religion if any.

Dh and I are both Christians. Our dd was not christened, as we both feel she should be able to make that choice for herself when she's older. We had a dedication service for her at our church instead.

Funnily enough, most of our Christian friends have chosen not to have their dcs christened, and the majority of christenings we've been invited to have been for non-Christians. Not really sure why, just an observation.

We didn't get our children christened because we are christians and couldn't find any biblical basis for christening children.
My non-religious MIL was quite horrified but quickly got used to the idea that I wasn't going to agree and didn't mention it again.

I didn't want to, DH did. Our parents wanted us to, but that didn't affect me. It's as much DH's decision as mine and so she was christened.

I find it all hypocritical but again, it's not totally up to me.

Nope neither my DS or DSD were christened.

It just felt wrong as we are not religious.

We did find out that MIL had secretly obtained holy water from her priest and performed a stealth christening in secret though

DH was not impressed until I pointed out that give we don't believe as it were, pouring some water over the kids heads was hardly anything to get worried/upset about.

I think she gave up a few years later when my son (then aged 3) ran off and tried to scale the Virgin Mary during the Sunday service

There are various parts of the Bible where infant baptism or the faith of children are suggested.

The early Church baptised whole "households" (Acts 16:33; 1 Cor. 1:16). This would have included children and babies, as well as the servants of the household.

The apostle Peter said, "Repent, and be baptised" and that this "promise is to you and to your children" (Acts 2:38–39).

In Luke 18 when parents brought infants to Jesus he said "Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God. Assuredly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it".

DH and I are both fairly devout Christians but didn't have DS baptised. Being a Christian is well should be anyway a big commitment and not one we can make for him, however much we take him to church, pray with him etc.

Funnily enough, most of our Christian friends have chosen not to have their dcs christened, and the majority of christenings we've been invited to have been for non-Christians. Not really sure why, just an observation

That's definitely true. It amuses me that non-Christians often seem more into it than Christians, which is strange given christening ceremonies usually involve a commitment on the part of the parents to bring the child up in the Christian faith.

I don't understand the posters saying the OP should go ahead to please her in laws. how can anybody stand for n church and make promises to 'God' when they don't believe a bloody word of it just to please somebody else? Odd

Exactly natweb - I'd feel so hypocritical, it would be ridiculous. My In-Laws chose to have their children done, their choice. Why should I engage in what should be a sacred ceremony just for pretence?

Neither of my In-Laws are religious or go to Church so it isn't as though it would mean something to them.

I've been to Christenings, I hear the 'promises' that parents, Godparents and the Congregation must make etc and I don't agree or believe in it.

I think to have such a Ceremony for the sake of keeping someone else happy is ludicrous and I'd feel like I was making a mockery out of something that should be a very special event in a families life.

Both my DC were baptised because DH and I are both committed Christians and it matters a great deal to us.

I don't think less of those who don't believe and therefore don't baptise. I do find it odd for people who don't believe to still go through the motions. Seems pointless and a bit hypocritical.

If you want a party to welcome your baby, you can do it without a baptism or naming ceremony.

There is an argument that having a baby baptised makes it easier for them to make a choice to join the church later as they may feel uncomfortable being baptised as a teenager or adult. There is something in that but I know enough who have done it not to be overly swayed by that argument!

I had my first 2 DC's christened, and both me and my sister (godmother) had to get christened ourselves for it. It just seemed the right 'thing to do' especially as DH's family are very religious.
However when it came to DC3 the new vicar insisted both me and DH must be confirmed to have her christened.
We felt this to be completely hypocritical and a bit ott since we hadn't had to be before, so we didn't go ahead.
We were offered a baptism in the hospital for DS2 as they thought he was going to die but I turned it down as it wouldn't have held much meaning for us and wouldn't have made the situation any easier.

had mine dunked but we're religious so a no brainer. It's an emotive issue though. Our eldest has been studying it at school and has now baptised DD2 about 12 times in the bath - at one point I found myself saying 'darling please stop baptising your sister and please remember we're catholic not Baptist - we don't do full immersion.....' [apologies to any Baptists reading this - full immersion is beautiful - just not so when a 4 year old does it to a 1 year old.... 1 year old thought it was the funniest thing ever.]

I have faith so it was something I wanted with DC1. He ended up being baptised a lot sooner than expected in NICU. It was the most moving ceremony, and very meaningful - even if there were leads everywhere and he only wore a nappy! His prognosis at the time wasn't good (doing great now at 2.10!) and we sped up our plans to give him every protection we possibly could.
Even though the church I attend practices adult baptism, we decided to baptise DC2. It took place in the chapel at the children's hospital where we we are regular visitors with DC1. It was intimate - due to the midweek timings and the small room, but it was a lovely personal occasion. Because of the speed of DC1's baptism he didn't have any godparents, the vicar wrote her own ceremony to bless a godparent during DC2's baptism.
And it certainly wasn't about gifts!

We're religious and ours haven't been! Oops. Plan on it this summer though.

They will be baptized in the Catholic faith, though I am not Catholic. (Just generally religious.) DH is deeply Catholic and so are his parents.

I feel sort of like Miranda in SATC...remember that episode? "If you don't believe, it's just water on the kid's head!" :) I do believe in God, but not specifically the Catholic church. However, it will mean a lot to DH and my lovely PIL and it's none of my nevermind.

Nope, we are atheists and would have felt like massive hypocrites. MY MIL threw a bit of a strop as she is a devout Catholic, but I made it clear my beliefs were just as valid as hers ( I believe all religion is codswallop, and dont get me started on Catholicism). My MIL pulled every stunt in the book, including making us talk to not one but two priests, and i'm not entirely convinced she didnt do a sneaky bit of blessing with holy water herself, but a christening was never going to happen.

I won't be getting a Christening for DC1 because neither of us are Christian. I won't mind if the baby decides to be Christian when he/she is older, but I feel strongly that they should make the decision for themselves.
I will, however, want to have a naming ceremony, because it's a nice excuse to have a party and take nice pictures.

Perhaps we should call the "naming ceremony" what it actually is: a "a ceremony to welcome our child to the family and wider community followed by a celebration because, like every parent, we think our child is awesome and we want to mark their arrival in a way that has meaning to us", though it isn't quite as catchy.