To expect a thank you card from 4 year old?

[tinyshinyanddon]

Went to the birthday party. Brought gift. Then a few days later the mother send out an email to all guests:
"I've decided not to make Lucy write thank you cards thus year. She loves all her gifts, each and every one."
There is more blurb at the start and end about thank you for coming/didn't we have a great time/blah blah blah.
Is it just me or is this rude? Clearly Lucy would not be writing the cards anyway (just signing them) so basically mommy can't be arsed. May be its normal?

A text or personal e mail should suffice. Or I used to thank the parent as I saw them in school tge next day for the wonderful tractor or doll. Well ds 2 had his party and ripped open the presents there and then so I was able to thank tge parents personally on the spot. Yabu expecting a 4 year old to write their name over 20 times if tgey have had a whole class party, if that was the case it would be a good while before you got a card

At that age it's up to the parent to thank I would not expect a thank you card from the child!

Oh god. I now realise that I have 10 sets of parents thinking I'm a rude cow for not sending individual thank you cards to them. DS's birthday was 3 weeks ago and I haven't had the energy to force him to write thank you cards. I sent a generic text instead and thanked the parents individually as they picked up the kids. And we had damn fine party bags!
Something else to feel guilty and anxious about.

It's important to say thank you. Whether you're thanked as you're leaving the party, thanked in a group email, phoned or texted. It's all the same.

I don't know why some people think anything short of a missive on personalised Smythson stationery is rude.

Op have you sent a thank you card for being invited to the party?
Why are some people obsessed with thank you notes, just don't buy a present if you're going to be all judgey about a lack of thank you note. A verbal thank you is perfectly fine. You've been thanked op, stop dwelling on it.

Op have you sent a thank you card for being invited to the party? Indeed, kids party's cost a fortune, it should be the guests thanking the parents for the party. All you had to do is show up, spend a bit on a present and then sit back while your child was entertained, ate and drank etc

*parties

don't be ridiculous. thank you is fine as the gift is given.

you must have a shed load of time on your hands op.

I have never sent thank you cards or emails unless present is sent by posts. then I would phone.

YABVU

I'd struggle to remember the last time I received an actual card saying "thank you" for anything. These days it's usually a quick text which I'm very happy with.

I cant be bothered to read all replies but I suspect your upset stems from the fact that a written thank you shows effort and its nice to receive in the post. The email is effortless so therefore feels empty plus you have all been lumped in a group email. Far from personal.

I always make my ds write a thank you notes but its not often we ever get one. Personally If I give a gift and have gone to the effort of choosing buying wrapping etc a written thank you is very much appreciated. I must admit, if I don't get one, the next gift, is well less considered! My two cousins now get an email with a voucher code- they cant even be bothered to say thank you in ANY manner. I must admit I do think less of their mother, its very rude. Yet I always send her one.

Its a sign of modern times. Sad but true.

She wasn't rude, IMO.

Rude would be to not acknowledge your gift in any way.

don't expect Thankyou cards if I was there to hand over the gift, either

Sorry, I don't expect Thankyou cards if I was there to hand over the gift

I gave my neighbour a thank you card as she kindly gave my son some chocolate over xmas. She was so pleasantly surprised she came round to thank me for the thank you card which she admitted was weird but she said the previous neighbour didn't ever even acknowledge the gift so in the end she stop doing it. We became good friends after that, a simple card can make all the difference.

I hate getting thank you notes, especially from children. They invariably stink of coercion and anti-fun and hideous boredom. My heart sinks when I receive them and I never make my children send them.

I don't think you are unreasonable at all. People just can't be arsed to show many manners these days.

Acrylic

I do insist that mine send them to some people - mostly people who have sent a gift/money

But I do agree that when I receive one I don't necessarily see it as a genuine expression of gratitude, and that buying the gift was the pleasurable thing for me.

I like to know someone received a gift that was sent, but a text/email would be sufficient.

YABU - you don't give to recieve, a simple thankyou will be fine.

YABdoublyU for saying Mommy

... In other words, I agree with you to a large extent Acrylic - they do stink of co-ercion, I don't need to receive thanks in that form

Veering off the subject a little, is there any reason, whiteblossom, why you think less of the mothers of children who don't send you thank you cards? Do the dads not have any responsibility when it comes to encouraging good manners?

yy Loon

I agree that it's good manners to say thank you for a gift, but why does this have to be in card form?

Do people really bristle with offence/indignation at not being given a thank you card?

Lem what's wrong with mom and mommy. Brummie here and that's what we say. tough.

Am also intrigued as to why the mum is lazy but the dad, who I presume is equally capable of writing pointless thank-you cards, isn't.

We don't do thank you cards and if it means so much to you - you can keep your present.