OK HERE'S THE FIRST SECTION...
Beyond I cant remember quite where you are in the adult ss process? I get the feeling you’ve just gone through the assessment bit, but I might be wrong?
Its useful to know where you are in the process, as although they are the only ones who can decide how much help you get, they are bound by a very strict procedure and legislation under community care law. Each bit of which needs to be done properly and with a lot of consideration. It's a good thing to start checking they are doing their job well at each stage, as issues can build up to wrong decisions being made.
Useful fact: You cannot take adult social services to court for not giving enough hours or funds directly. This may be a slightly strange point to make, but I’ve got a reason honest!
You can take them to court for procedural error and wrong decision making as the decision was based on faulty logic/ ignoring information etc. It's all about whether they've gone through the correct procedure at every step and not done things that are against the law. A court can cancel a decision and order them to go back and reconsider properly, but it doesn't reach it's own decision on hours/ care.
Why am I telling you this? Going to court would be awful and a last resort which you’re nowhere near! Well, because a key motivation for social services, especially the higher up you go, is avoiding being taken to court if it's likely the person might win. For their point of view it wastes time and money, and anyway, who wants to be proved wrong in court?!
This is important! It effects what’s important to them and what arguments will be convincing or not. its not about commenting on the rights and wrongs of it by the way. Its just that in any job, people care about keeping their own job, and making their manager happy, and this is one of the things managers care about.
If you insist at every stage they do everything in a procedurally correct manner, and get written evidence of anything they are/ aren't doing, you're more likely to end up with the help you need than if you are appealing to the innate rightness of helping you. Cynical? Yes. But I wasted so much strength and energy pleading with people and getting nowhere.
A BIT ABOUT THE PROCESS
They have to do three stages in the assessment process: information gathering, service provision decision and preparing the care plan to reflect the findings of the two former stages.
The information gathering is done in the assessment but shouldn't just be about a tick box questionnaire. Social workers need to dig further and ask the right questions to be able to understand the whole picture. It sounds like they haven’t done this bit well. And if they haven’t done this and considered all elements, they can’t do the next stage right, which is the ‘service provision decision’. They need to make every effort to get this right and to engage with you about this versus just giving you some care/ direct payments and telling you it's a done deal.
The third bit, the care plan, is really useful after that as it shows how they intend you to satisfy your needs in reality, its like the proof of their calculations, the ‘workings out’. It also gives you the opportunity to point out the glaringly obvious if the care plan can’t be done/ doesn't satisfy your needs. But you shouldn't have to wait until this stage to have these conversations.
I can see two routes to go down:
1 Carer needs and rights
2 Your needs and rights
I’m sure the ‘dh as carer’ angle needs working out more. I’ve given some pointers, but I don't have direct personal experience of carer rights and support, as I didn't have any family support myself. It was one thing I didn't have to fight about as I was rather obviously on my own.
I wouldn't just go down this line of enquiry though as it doesn't sound right that you have lots of help in the day and then Bang! Zero when your dh gets home. Not the hallmark of a balanced care plan!
What I think you need (feel free to correct me though!) is a few good arguments to put to the adult social services team, to show them you wont be taking no for an answer – and nor should you.
So I’ve written loads on your right as a disabled person, and their responsibilities towards you and your family… and pointed out as many things that you could argue as possible! I am hoping this gives you enough ammunition to get them to engage with you and do their jobs properly.
It also means there is a ton to get through, so please don't try and read it all at once or your brain may die ?
Feel free to PM me and we can talk more, I did think about putting it all in a PM but I also thought it may be useful for anyone else who stumbles on it… If it's a load of annoying rubbish then im sorry for blocking up the thread 
Here are the other sections of my mamouth reply!
Background and legislation
Carer assessment and support
Disabled persons needs and support