hmmm aibu to ask ... was just reading another thread .. how old do you think its acceptable for your children to move out .. would you let them stay tilmthey were 30 ?

[mummywithsmiles]

Yep just that really , I'm 22 sister 29 and other sister 32 ,we all live with my mum.

I expect they will move out about age 18 like I did, and will go and have some adventures

I'd let my children stay for as long as they wanted to, but I'd secretly be disappointed if they didn't want to be independent by their early twenties. I've always found people who still want to live with their parents at that age a bit, well, odd really.

I think it is up to the parents. If the family is close, then it is for no-one else to say how old is too old.

I feel sorry for your mum.... Parents need space too.

The sibs in your post and you are fairly near the same age as ours. It would drive me crazy living with 5 adults. And I adore them, but I don't want to live with them. Also as a parent it is my job to make sure they are independent autonomous adults who are capable of living alone. That's a parents job isn't it?

My DB lives at home, saving for a house he is 26.
Both my BILs live at home having never left and have no intention to aged 50 and 48. MIL constantly worries about what will happen to them when she is gone, neither of them work or ever have. The eldest has autism like symptoms so I understand that, the other is neuro typical just a lazy bugger.

Sometimes people aren't healthy... The only people past 25 who I personally know to still live with their parents do say because they're too unwell to really cope on their own - either permanently or temporarily.

I'd find it odd if someone past c. 21 wouldn't at least be making arrangements and plans to move out, but (if I had kids) would like to think my reaction with my own would depend on the circumstances.

I would never date someone who was still loving at home (late twenties). In my mind to have got to my stage in life and still be loving at home shows a total lack of independence and drive.

It can be a temporary thing eg while finding new accommodation but there is no good reason to be living at home still unless you are sick or disabled and can't work or something.

A NT and physically healthy adult should fly the nest. Failure to launch isn't attractive.

I moved out a 17 for around 8 months with an ex boyf, then moved out again at just turned 24.

My sister on the other hand is almost 30, and has never moved out!!

My house was the family home whilst my DC grew up. One went back and forth for a few years due to circumstances, always paid their way and has now left for good (I think!).

And I'm glad. I was happy for it to be a family home but I never wanted to house share with other adults. It's my (and my DH's) house and I like it how I like it. I don't have people coming and going at all hours. I don't have their possessions and mess. I don't have their noise. And I don't have to negotiate the TV or anything else. It's just nice to see them for visits.

But then, I am pretty unsociable...

I have no problem with them living at home as long as they want to, I would love them to move out, have their own home and a family but who knows?
Two adult children, they are a pleasure to house share with.
The relationship dynamics have changed, they are not dependent children that I run around clucking at. We all like each other.

They can stay as long as they want. My brother and sister live with my mum. They are all happy, sis and bro contribute a lot financially to the house, and they all manage to respect each other. No adult / child relationship there. And they are a long way over 30.

I suppose my hubby was one of the first of the "boomerang" generation. It was more than 20 years ago now, maybe 25 years even. He moved out to go to uni, then once he was working afterwards still couldn't afford to move out permanently, so moved back in with his parents.

Whilst we saved up a deposit to buy our first place together we both lived with his parents for about a year. It was tense at times, and when we eventually bought our place I think we all heaved a huge sigh of relief. Hubby was 27 when he left home for the second (and final) time. I guess I left at 18, except for university holidays. I have only been back for visits since, and I am 47 now.

I wouldn't put a time limit on it, but by their late 20s I would definitely expect them to be paying their way and pulling their weight properly around the house, not just leaving everything to me.

My eldest Dc are 21 and 23 and both live elsewhere.

I would say as a permanent address, I would expect DC to be gone by early twenties, depending on post-school options. The option for emergency accommodation (between uni houses, relationship breakdown etc) would be there, but stop-gap only.

Youngest two DC have ASD, so later for them, but I am hoping they can live independently by 25.

I work with 3 Peopke who still live at home
One is 40, lives with her sister (45) & her mum
They see The house as theirs, no idea what they'll do if their mum needs to sell the house to pay for a care home
Another is 45, only child
Another is 44 lives with her sister & mum (47)
Bizarre that 3 people in their 40s all work at same place & live at home still
None have boyfriends
I guess if they did they'd be more incentive to move out

No my mommy isn't pressuring me at all.. If you read my post before I have v diff reasons from my sister . and yes I was older enough to make the choice to have a baby ... But I didn't make the choice to be in the situation I am in and yes I could go down to the housing and I am entitled to help but I feel its better for me to stay put.

My mum loves having us here as were all she's got, we all live our own lifes.. My mum works full time so she is around to do everything for us so that isn't a factor on y we want to stay.

I will be looking to sell up when my youngest is 20 ish unless there are extenuating circumstances and start pursuing my life after two decades putting them first

Sorry but living at home at 32 ????

Is not around to do everything for us that was meant to say.

Forgot to add their mums do the washing , pay the bills
They spend their disposable income on clothes & holidays

My little baby will live with me in my little bubble of forrrreverrr hahaha (but will probably get sick of me by 18 and run for door )

I moved out when I was 18 then went back for a few years then got my own place at 22

Couldn't imagine living back with me mother now but if you know no different...

Both mine went at 18 to uni then back home for a year post uni while they got jobs, flats etc. I dont thibk I would have wanted them at home much longer tbh.

I know alot of people still living at home way past mid 20s.

I think the problem could be

• its not as easy to get a social housing house as it used to be

• private renting is too much

• most jobs are min wage, therefore it doesnt cover bills and rent if you live on your own

• some parents take too much rent money away, leaving next to nothing for you to be able to save

I moved out for university at 18, back home at 22. Moved out for good last year when I was 24. My parents have always said I can go back, but I don't want to. I think it's really unhealthy past a certain age, unless there are mitigating circumstances (illness or whatever that causes you to need support for life).

Your parents need space and it's not healthy to stay at home for too long. People need independence and freedom, and you can never truly get that while you're still living at home.

We share chores, they contribute to bills according to their income. I've never seen the point of having fit and able children sitting on their arses whilst mummy does all, so they have been doing age-appropriate tasks from being very small.
It works for us, so I don't really give a stuff if others find it weird.

I moved out at 16. So 9 years I have been away. I stayed with my folks for 2 weeks a couple of years ago and I swear I was going round the bend.

I wouldn't suggest 16 is a good age but I think by 25 they should have their own place.

My son is 28 and lives at home - saving like mad to buy a house.
No problems here - he's independent, does his own washing and cleaning and stays in his room most of the time.

What the fuck is 'unhealthy' about that, TheDoctors ??