To ask DP for financial support on mat leave?

[BraveLilBear]

I'm going back to work in a few weeks when DS is 7 months old. After a decent maternity package, I'm now on SMP only and frankly struggling.

DP earns a little more than I do. He has no debts and pays 200 a month in maintenance for his other son.

I have spent the last few years living on the absolute minimum in order to reduce my debts. In the last month before DS was born I paid off two loans to reduce my outgoings by 250 a month.

We each pay a similar amount into the joint account every month (tho I have always paid around 20 more).

For the first 4 months of mat leave, I paid in 100 extra a month to save up for this time and we have a significant amount in the joint account.

However, DP still expected me to pay in. I paid in half, which leaves me with 250 to cover my personal outgoings. Unless I use my overdraft (trying not to as took ages to clear before) I therefore have NOTHING left over.

We both use a budgeting system whereby we work out how much disposable income we have and divide it by number of weeks. By this system, he regularly has 100 left over at the end of the week that goes into his (personal) savings and is able to spend whatever he wants on himself - clothes, PS4, etc

Am I being unreasonable to think this is ridiculous? During a row yesterday I asked him for 100 so I could get a months' worth of shopping and he yelled why should he have to pay for everything.

I know I have left this late but how can I reasonably appeal to him for assistance?

Sharon I bet he will ask later "What's brought this on?"
Let me guess, he has a selective memory.

He probably slept through all the broken nights you handled so he'd be refreshed by next morning. It's not all coffee mornings with friends and putting your feet up with a magazine every afternoon. Babies sleep lots, everyone knows that. And entertain themselves when they're not self feeding and changing their own nappies.

Just witness the resentment with that kind of mentality if they're asked to change a nappy twice over the weekend.

MrsKoala/Sharon - the problem is that there is now an expectation in young people of both sexes that women will pay their own way and not depend on a man to buy dinner, etc .

Young men have grown up with that message so living together like students where everyone chips in a certain amount each month is 'normal'. Problem is that only women have babies. That bit isn't equal and therefore splitting everything 50:50 form that point on does not apply anymore.

Maybe more men taking parental leave mind change the mindset in future.

'Maybe more men taking parental leave mind change the mindset in future.'

This.

I love mrskoalas post. And that sharon has seen fit to retrospectively argue this!

Yep, came from a family where two parents worked full time but dm bore all the responsibility.She never thought to question it either I guess and the marriage was filled with resentment-it ended..Her generation were told they could have it all.I guess that they also did not realise they would have to do it all on top of that.I never knew anything about how finances should be shared in a family.