AIBU to wonder how working parents manage without extended family support?

[SatsumaSatsuma]

I supposedly have the ultimate family friendly job. I am a part -time teacher, so work term time only, 4 (part) days a week. I often finish early enough to pick up my 2dds from school.

However, despite the seemingly convenient nature of my job, I have depended on grandparents (during January only) to:
-collect dd1 from school once while I took dd1 to the orthodontist out of town
-look after dd1 while she was off sick for 1.5 days
-look after dd2 while she has INSET day
look after DD1 for 3 days at the start of term as her school (private) has holidays that differ from my state school term dates
-collect both dds while I rushed off to an emergency with another relative in hospital
-have dd's as usual on my staff meeting nights after school

AIBU to think this is a ridiculous amount of help to need, for 2 dc, when I work term time only, P/T?

AIBU to think that it would be unbelievably stressful trying to work without their support, to the point that it wouldn't even seem viable?

Got me thinking...How on earth do others manage to work, have DC without family support?

I chose to stay at home years ago for 10 years, and that was definitely influenced by the fact all family were 250 miles away. It was less stressful not to work (and I was very lucky to have the financial option of not working). When I did eventually go back to work once the youngest was 8 it was to a school hours term time only job with no questions asked if kids were ill and I needed to take time off (forward thinking boss 15 years ago).

I manage (lone parent of a toddler) because there is no other option and I try not to think about how much easier it would be if I had a partner, grandparents helping right left and centre and if I earned more than ten grand a year.

I have 2 choices....sit about feeling sorry for myself because it's all on me or feel proud that I can do it by myself, and still have a nice life with my lovely little son. I choose the latter.

Practically...I batch cook at weekends to keep food budgets down and so that when we both get home at half six I don't have to cook from scratch, my son is in full time nursery while I work, I sleep 6 hours a night on average, if one (or both! That was a fun week!!) of us is sick I just have to somehow pull together a quick solution and somehow it has just worked out. I plan my finances meticulously and organise our time equally meticulously!

I manage (lone parent of a toddler) because there is no other option and I try not to think about how much easier it would be if I had a partner, grandparents helping right left and centre and if I earned more than ten grand a year.

I have 2 choices....sit about feeling sorry for myself because it's all on me or feel proud that I can do it by myself, and still have a nice life with my lovely little son. I choose the latter.

Practically...I batch cook at weekends to keep food budgets down and so that when we both get home at half six I don't have to cook from scratch, my son is in full time nursery while I work, I sleep 6 hours a night on average, if one (or both! That was a fun week!!) of us is sick I just have to somehow pull together a quick solution and somehow it has just worked out. I plan my finances meticulously and organise our time equally meticulously!

basically you pay for the care, paying over the odds if you cna afford it to build up goodwill - trading favours with friends etc - using after school clubs etc
taking time off for hols in parallel with partner -
taking a massive pay cut to get a "flexible "job that means yuo end up doing yuor work when kids are in bed to keep on top of it

But, at least I have a partner and the finances to pay for the care etc . Hell if you are on your own, with limited means - my neighbour was in this situation and it nearly broke her

I disagree that nightime childcare isn't that expensive in a lot of areas - it's a hugely expensive outlay, and in many areas they don't even exist. Whereabouts in the UK are you?

We are talking about registered childcare providers only charging 3.50 an hour for night time care, yes?

Sorry...double posted!

SirChenjin - The ones I know are registered. One my friend runs for a couple of children is with a degree qualified in childhood studies, first aid, child protection etc. Thats 7 an hour and its not hard. I think thats good for what your doing.

That is incredibly cheap for night time care from a registered childcare provider. You are extremely lucky to have that as an option, and at such a low price too - definitely not something which is widely available sadly.

Having had 4 DC the only way we could do it was for me to scale down career completely and work very part time.
when older ones were little I worked nights or weekends (nurse) but that played havoc with family life and my sanity so I reduced hours further and now work one 12 hour shift a week.
I am fortunate in being able to afford to do this and being in a job that allows me the flexibility to,but this has come at the expense of career progression.
we have had some help from my parents,but in the early days they both still worked.
childcare options have improved,when DD1 was born in the late 1980s there were no before and after school clubs in our area,nurseries also demanded set days which was difficult with shift work.