AIBU to keep a neighbours parcel and open and keep it for myself?

[RoseRedder]

Parcel arrived on the 2nd of January

it was a delivery that the delivery people put it under there doormat

I took it in in case of theft

We live in flats

I put a note threw their door

It's not been collectected

can I open it and keep it now?

I meant it in the nicest possible way Cunty. This thread has cheered me right up. Althought I am now craving cheesy scones.

I know you did Coumarin, it was funny.

Do you have them with butter Rose or more cheese?

I had a boyfriend once, who used to make cheese sandwiches and as well as solid cheese, he would use cheesy spread as "the butter" to make it extra cheesy.

Was the bread just extra thick slices of cheese too?

Mmmm cheesy.

well put it this way.

If someone creams on my scones I'll be phoning the pervert police

I know this it's wrong, but this thread has reminded me that I took delivery of a neighbours parcel around Christmas time AND STILL HAVE IT. I knocked a few times, then presumed they were away for the holidays. I put the box in the closet thinking they'd have a card through their door and come for it when they got back. I don't know these neighbours, it's several houses down. Anyway, I totally forgot, will try them again in the morning and then return to sender Monday if no news from the neighbours. On the other hand, I could open it and see I'd I would like to keep the item...

I haven't fucking stolen it

Yes, you have. You took something from their property (albeit outside of it, but it was clearly on their property) and haven't made any effort (other than a note, weeks ago) to give it back.

Now you want to open it.

Did you REALLY leave a note, or do you really want this parcel for yourself??

Read the thread different

different have you read the thread? All is well. The bald neighbour is alive and well and taken delivery of the shampoo.

the neighbour man is gorgeous.....bald but gorgeous

I'd happily rub the hair growing shampoo into his head

Best not Rose with him being a newly wed and all. Wait a few weeks.

Lifesgreat, you have to return the parcel with a scone now that OP has upped the ante. If you haven't got a cheesy scone, a normal one would be fine, I'm sure.

but we exchanged Christmas card ergo he loves me too

oh you have to open it lifesgreat jooin me in the opening of parcels that do not belong to you

If you open it and there is shampoo inside I'll personally give you £100

I bloody love this thread, it's kept me entertained. Loving the happy ending even more. It turns out you are an angel OP. I wish you were my neighbour.

This is fucking hilarious!!

Thanks for that kind offer OP, wish that I could. I just wanted to say that it is with thanks to this thread that I narrowly escaped parcel theft. Neighbours were in. Package safely in their hands. AND... breathe.

"You can't steal from dead people

Even if they're bald"

You can though, that's why they call it grave robbing. Although I don't know what kind of baked good you might leave after robbing a grave. Maybe an angel cake?

That would be "shave, grave robbing"

Buzzed

I love that leaving a baked good might be a reasonable response to an issue like this.

The next time someone parks in the P&C spaces without a baby at our local supermarket I'm going to balance a Fat Rascal on their car bonnet.

Love it Fat Rascal on their car brilliant