AIBU to keep a neighbours parcel and open and keep it for myself?

[RoseRedder]

Parcel arrived on the 2nd of January

it was a delivery that the delivery people put it under there doormat

I took it in in case of theft

We live in flats

I put a note threw their door

It's not been collectected

can I open it and keep it now?

I AM NOT A THEIF I AM A NON THEIF AND AND PERSON WHO PROTECTS NEEIGHBOURS F|ROM THEIVES

That joke only works if you say scone like Skon rather than sc-oh-ne

as in STOLLEN cake?

You can't steal from dead people

Even if they're bald

Now you've opened it you can put the shampoo through the letterbox - it will fit right?

Ah Rose - I went from thinking of you as you little teef, but now I think of you as a benevolent bad Santa xx

I AM NOT A THEIF
No, you're not. A thief is someone who takes things that don't belong to them.
Er, hang on a minute...

Antlers i realised afterwards North South difference in pronunciation might not read them right. Have you marked your papers yet?! (Now I sound like a Jiminy Cricket Stalker)

Ashamed APPLAUSE

I hope the neighbours get their treat. Another neighbour getting the munchies and swiping it really would be taking the biscuit scone.

Rosie no swiping Rosie no swiping OH MAN!!!!!

Have you opened it? Is it a dictionary?

It was shampoo, not real poo.

Badgers, read the bloody thread! It was special hair growing shampoo for her now dead bald neighbours (maybe?) and the OP is possibly facing a jail term for being a thief. Her neighbours will be so ashamed.

Would you have kept it had the contents been more to your liking I wonder...

I had similar problem, and did also open the parcel, but only with the intention of discovering the sender details, who I then emailed to arrange collection/redelivery.

And Rose has put it back with a *cherry scone on top.

She lives in a hood, she is Robin The Hood.

Ahem these are indeed the jokes and I'm here all week, try the veal

*Fortunately twas cheese not cherry so less likely to be nicked as
a) usually you steal someone's cherry
b) SAVOURY SCONES ARE WRONG

If I were the neighbour, that scone would freak me right out.

Savoury scones are the best!

Ahahaha.

Better hope those drug dealing thieves haven't got the munchies.

Is this s pisstake????

Midnite Me too* but I can't help thinking about it and pissing myself.
It's just so random. Oh here's that shampoo, I've been waiting for that for ages. Wait..what's that?
It appears to have come with a free scone.
Ooh there's a note.

Sorry I opened your parcel you bald bastard. Fill your face, we'll say no more about it.

[Cheese dreams]

Neighbours, Everybody needs bald neighbours
With shampoos, toupees and patience
You can find the perfect weaves
But Neighbours...will be there to grab the parcels
That's when good neighbours become good thieves

So did you open the parcel RoseRedder? or is this a windup???

Sorry I opened your parcel you bald bastard. Fill your face, we'll say no more about it.

Tall Take that back!

This thread is veering from Great Brain Robbery into Great British Bake-Off.

Has to be a cream tea. But which first?